Chapter 81: Heavenly Letter
"Seeing Words as Myself:
An An, when you read this letter, your mother has already gone to a very faraway place.
Because it is too far, I cannot come back in this lifetime.
I... am not a good mother.
When I was very young, your grandmother left. No one taught me what a mother should be like.
I say these things not to make excuses, but out of regret.
Regret for experiencing such a lonely childhood and yet still letting you go through the same thing.
Regret for not learning anything from my own mother, and not being able to give anything to my own daughter as a mother.
Regret for not teaching you anything as a mother.
Not teaching you how to protect yourself as a girl, not teaching you right from wrong, not teaching you how to love someone... of course, I do not have the qualifications or ability to do so.I hope your brother can teach you.
Hopefully, your brother can teach you.
He is a very successful child, and living with him will be better than living with me, a useless mother.
This is the only place where I can comfort myself.
An An, you are a good child.
Do you still remember?
That year, all the workers took a vacation to go home. The medicine shop needed to change its goods, so I had to carry the medicine back and forth by myself. I carried it dozens of times and cried.
After I finished crying and turned around, I saw you stumbling and carrying the medicine back to the warehouse.
Many of the medicines were mixed up, but my heart was warm.
At that moment, I felt comforted but also incredibly lonely.
Loneliness is a devil that devours human reason, morality, and even humanity. It devours everything.
I was devoured by this devil and forgot how beautiful everything was. I even lost everything.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have told you these things.
The weather is already cold, are you wearing enough clothes?
I sewed a winter coat for you and sent it with this letter. There was supposed to be a hat too, but I only finished half of it... never mind.
I'm sorry.
I can't send you gifts anymore.
I'm sorry.
I left you again...
I am a shameful mother. But I have no choice.
What I am pursuing has disappeared from this world, and I can only follow it and go to a faraway place.
I can't come back anymore.
I wanted to leave quietly, but I also felt like I had to say something to you. Whether it's a mother's last advice or a self-consolation from an irresponsible woman.
I have to say something.
An An.
This is the first and last letter that mother wrote specifically for you.
I really don't know what to say that would be appropriate.
An An.
You have to take care of yourself.
You have to study hard and grow up like your brother, and you can also go to the academy and become a great official, a god.
No, I shouldn't ask that of you.
I don't have the qualifications.
Cultivation is too tiring. Do whatever you want.
Just eat less sweets, or your teeth won't be pretty.""My An An, when you grow up, you will definitely be a great beauty. What kind of breathtaking beauty will that be?
Just thinking about it makes me want to close my eyes.
An An, you must be good.
You must listen to your brother.
You must grow up happy and safe.
This is all useless talk.
But other than these useless words, there is nothing else I can give you.
I'm sorry.
I don't know how your studies are going now, and whether you can fully recognize these characters.
You can read them later if you want.
Or if you don't want to read them, that's fine too.
...
As I wrote this, I suddenly remembered the days when your father taught me how to write.
I miss you.
...
In the fourteenth year of Yongtai, on the first day of winter, Song Ruyi.
...
...
When Jiang Wang received a letter from Wangjiang City, he was in a very anxious state. Moreover, the letter was personally written by An An, so he didn't take the liberty to open it and instead gave it directly to Jiang An An.
An An happily bounced into the study to read the letter.
Jiang Wang, on the other hand, was pondering his own problems.
The appearance of the white bone lotus on his body was very unusual, and the strange pattern on it was obviously not a product of orthodox Daoism.
There must be something wrong somewhere, but he had no one to consult.
He didn't have a senior who he could fully trust, who would support him at all times, and who had a broad knowledge.
Dong A might be trustworthy, but with his straightforward personality, if he found out that Jiang Wang had connections with unorthodox sects, he might just slap him to death on the spot. Upholding justice by eliminating evil.
As for Ling He and Zhao Ru Cheng, these two could be fully trusted, but they had just started their cultivation and there was no need to have any expectations of them. Zhao Ru Cheng might have a more mysterious background, but when it came to the unorthodox White Bone Path, which sounded strange just by its name alone, Jiang Wang didn't want to get them involved.
He searched through some Daoist classics, secret stories, and event records, but there was no information about the White Bone Path. Either it never appeared in Zhuangguo, or the information was erased.
The only thing Jiang Wang could confirm was that in his memory, there was no one or anything related to the White Bone Path.
As for the hidden connection with the Taiyin Star, it was because of the Tai Xu Illusory Realm, not something else.
The "secret" that the black-veiled woman wanted to know, was it related to the Tai Xu Illusory Realm? What was the woman's relationship with the White Bone Path?
If she was a member of the White Bone Path, what was her goal? If not, if she really came from some orthodox sect, why did she bring up the White Bone Path?
He suddenly thought of the black candle in the Tongtian Palace, which was obtained from the person who swallowed the heart and became a demon. The Zhou Tian Xing Dou Formation was passed down from the Tai Xu Illusory Realm, so there shouldn't be any problems. If there was anything special in his body, it would be this black candle.
What was its origin? What was its secret?
While Jiang Wang was pondering, Jiang An An ran out crying.
"What's wrong? What happened, An An?" Jiang Wang squatted down and hugged her."Where is the faraway place?" An An held the letter in her hand, and tears the size of beans rolled down her cheeks one by one. "Did my mother go to heaven like my father?"
Jiang Wang finally realized the seriousness of the problem. He picked up An An and comforted her, "It's okay, don't cry An An, your brother is here, your brother is here. I'll be with you."
As he comforted Jiang An An, he took the letter and quickly read it.
The paper was thin, but it suddenly felt very heavy.
The letter had taken the normal delivery route, and considering the time it took for communication between Wangjiang City and Fenglin City, the situation must be irreversible.
Jiang Wang didn't have deep feelings for Auntie Song, but she was his father's wife and An An's mother.
She held an irreplaceable significance for Jiang An An and was an essential part of her life.
And now she was gone forever.
Although Jiang An An was still young, children were not ignorant of everything.
Jiang Wang had been through that age himself, and he understood the sensitivity and fragility of children, and how difficult it was for the little one.
On ordinary days, when Little An An stumbled, Jiang Wang would already feel unbearable heartache.
Not to mention now, seeing her swollen eyes from crying, his heart was breaking.
"An An, be good, don't cry. Your brother is here, your brother is here."
"Whimper, my mother, she, she…"
"An An, An An, your brother will definitely give you an explanation."
Jiang Wang held her little head gently yet firmly, and said.
No matter who was involved, no matter the reason.