Life in Vain: Jobless Reincarnation

28 – An Impossible Decision

Paul came home early.

The situation was dire, so he wanted to keep searching. Especially since Laws' kid was still missing despite all the others being found.

But the guys forced him back. Since he was their main combat force, they wanted to make sure he was in top shape in case anything happened.

At first, Paul didn't want to agree.

It was too dangerous. And every second counted.

But then he remembered something. Or rather, someone.

Rudy.

Paul might play around as being arrogant and overconfident, but he knew his limits. While he was Advanced-rank in the three major sword styles, that was only good for fighting one-on-one and cutting down enemies in front of him. Finding and protecting people who might be in danger... he wasn't good at that.

...And it pissed him off.

Zenith was right. If he had trained a bit harder and reached the Saint-rank. If he could be that much faster...

No. It wasn't good to think in what ifs.

Besides, there was still a chance.

Laws' kid, Luffy... No, 'Sylphiette' was her full name.

Sylphiette and the other children had gone missing since noon last night.

Right now, they had found everyone except for her.

They had been wandering around in the forest, dazed and confused. And when questioned, they said they didn't know what happened.

Of course, Paul could guess.

Sylphiette had green hair. And because of that green hair she was different from other children. While she didn't have the signature jewel eye in the middle of her forehead, Sylphiette did have the same hair color as the feared Supard Demon race. And children would latch on to that as an excuse to bully her.

Paul knew. He'd seen the same things done when he was younger by children and for less.

Considering the way the kids clammed up when questioned about why they were out in the forest as well...

Paul didn't want to fear the worst. But whatever the case, he knew that he needed help.

Stopping outside the gate to his house after sprinting back from the forest, Paul let out a sigh and muttered, "Dammit. I hate having to rely on him, but..."

Rudy was perfect for this.

Paul didn't know exactly what spells his son had learned from Roxy, but he knew that Rudy was smart. A real genius. Even if he didn't have the right spell to sort things out, he'd be able to figure out a way to make things work.

Unlike Paul, who could only cut down what was in front of him and sweet talk women, Rudy could think things through and come up with a plan.

So that was why Paul came back.

He didn't know what to do, but his son would be able to help. He was sure of it.

Like that, Paul entered his house and called out. "Rudy? Are you home? I need to-"

"Welcome back, Husband."

A cold and sharp voice. A familiar one, but completely unfamiliar in the tone.

Zenith's. His lovely wife.

Paul blinked and noticed that she was seated at the dining room table across from Lilia.

Lilia looked at Paul, but she quickly looked away, lowering her head.

And more than that, there was a whole arrangement of food left untouched on the table. Bread that had turned dry from being left out, along with soup that looked like it turned cold a while ago.

While the house was warm and well-lit by the afternoon sun... Paul couldn't help but notice that the atmosphere was a bit frosty.

Shutting the door behind him, Paul put on a smile and let out a nervous laugh. "Y-Yeah. I'm back, Zenith. Um..." He looked around the house and said, "Is Rudy home? There's something I wanted to talk with him about."

Zenith shook her head. "Our son is out playing in the forest right now."

"The forest?"

Paul blinked.

Was it coincidence? No, knowing his son, Rudy probably figured that something was up. And Paul did briefly mention that there was a situation to Rudy before he left the house...

Anyway, that was good. Paul didn't have the chance to explain the situation, but if Rudy headed that way, the others would fill him in.

Great.

Now... Paul just had to deal with the situation in front of him.

Zenith looked mad- No. That wasn't anger. She looked... not just disappointed either. Instead, it was indifferent. Apathetic.

That sight wasn't new to Paul. He's tried out enough approaches with enough women to be familiar with the entire range of reactions. But it was definitely a first time seeing it on his wife.

Zenith stared at Paul and then pointed to a seat at the head of the table. The side between both Zenith and Lilia.

Paul gulped and then sat down. His throat felt dry, so he grabbed a bowl of soup and slurped down a bit. After that, he looked at Zenith and said, "S-So... What's this about, Honey?"

Zenith glared at him and said, "Don't 'honey' me, Husband."

Oh. That wasn't good. Calling Paul by 'husband' instead of by name or another nickname... and not affectionately like she had in the beginning...

Paul's first instinct was to crack a joke and play it off. But he had a feeling that would end poorly... not to mention that Lilia was sitting there looking depressed. So instead, Paul held up his hands and said, "I haven't touched another woman! Promise!"

Zenith narrowed her eyes and said, "That's the sign of a guilty conscience, Husband."

The same words that Rudy said to him before.

Paul flinched and instinctively looked at Lilia. "T-That's..."

Lilia looked up at Paul and then looked away.

A tense silence.

It was eventually broken by Zenith tapping her fingernails against the table. Looking at Paul, she said, "Rudy told me something very interesting earlier, Husband."

Paul froze.

That...

Dammit! Rudy! That was a man-to-man talk! You weren't supposed to spill the beans!

Paul wished he could grab Rudy and shake him at that time. But whether because his son made a tactical retreat or because he wanted his old man to suffer a bit, the kid wasn't around.

...Probably a bit of both, knowing him.

Paul let out a nervous laugh. "R-Really now?" His eyes scanned the room and then noticed a new tree out in the distance. He ran past it, not thinking much of it at the time. But now that he was there... and looking for anything to change the topic, Paul said, "Does it have to do with that new tree we have?"

"Paul."

Paul flinched and lowered his head. "...Yes, Zenith?"

"You've been stealing glances at Lilia."

Paul lowered his head more. "...Yes, Zenith."

"You've been paying less attention to me."

...Had he? Paul hadn't realized it, but that might be true. "...Yes, Zenith."

"...You're falling in love with Lilia. Aren't you?"

"Ye-" Paul's eyes widened and he forcibly bit his tongue to stop his words. But it was too late.

In the corner of his eyes, he saw Lilia turn red.

And in front of him... he saw his wife's expression dim.

Paul immediately slammed his head down on the table and kowtowed. "I'm sorry, Zenith! I didn't mean to! I love you, I really do! But... But Lilia...!"

Silence.

Paul didn't dare look up. Instead, he quickly started talking, fearing that Zenith would come to the wrong conclusion.

"I love you the most, Zenith! But I did something really bad to Lilia when I was younger. I thought I could fix that by giving her the job and everything was fine. But the more I thought about how lonely she might be and then the fact that she took such good care of Rudy, I felt really guilty. You always told me to be responsible and I've been trying to change since I married you but then this came up and I've been really conflicted and Lilia's just so damned hot and sexy, plus she's so beautiful when she has that motherly gaze just like you were when Rudy was born and I-"

"Enough."

Paul flinched. "Y-Yes Ma'am!"

Zenith let out a deep sigh and said, "Look at me, Paul."

Paul did.

Zenith had turned her chair to face him. Her arms were crossed and her usual ponytail was gone. She was beautiful as always. But she also seemed a bit distant.

Paul had a bad feeling.

"Do you remember what I asked of you when we first did it?"

"...Yes."

"I said that you could sleep with me only if you never sleep with any woman again."

"...Yes."

Paul remembered that. At the time, he was going to break his promise. But when it turned out that she was pregnant... he couldn't.

As much as he hated his dad and the lessons he tried to beat into Paul's head, there were three rules that Paul agreed with.

1. Treat girls nicely.

2. Use your strength to protect the weak.

3. Take responsibility for your mistakes.

They were good rules. The proper rules that all men should follow.

And so when he found out that Zenith was pregnant, he took responsibility. He decided to make up for his mistake and not run away.

....Not like with Lilia.

So he made a promise to himself. Even if he wanted to flirt with other women. Even if he felt like chasing skirts again... the only woman for him from that day forward would be Zenith.

...Though he had to admit that he had fantasized about taking a few of the village maidens for a run every now and then.

But it was only a fantasy. And that promise he made to himself was even stronger after Rudy was born. Because he wanted to set a good example.

He didn't want to be like his dad who laid down all sorts of rules but didn't follow them. He didn't want to be someone that Rudy would be ashamed of saying was his father.

Paul could accept being made fun of. But at the least he wanted to have some good parts to make up for it.

But then there was Lilia. The girl who he broke all three rules with. Someone who he treated the worst, used his strength to take advantage of, and then ran away from his mistake.

It didn't cross his mind at first when he hired her to help out in the house. But now as the years had gone by and Paul started to rethink his life with seeing Rudy grow up...

Zenith tapped her fingernails on the table and said, "Milis teaches that a couple must only love each other. And since we've been with each other, I've never loved anyone else. Right?"

Paul nodded. "Right."

That was true. Even though Paul was a scumbag like that, Zenith still loved him. And ever since that first time together, she had never looked at anyone else. Even when she was panicked and didn't know what to do, she still turned to him. And only him.

...That was part of the reason why Paul wanted to change.

A beautiful, naive, and innocent noblewoman like Zenith believed in him that much. No, she loved him that much that she swallowed her pride and gave herself to him even knowing that it might be just a lie.

She didn't think about the consequences. No, she did, but she talked herself into ignoring them.

Paul saw that firsthand when she realized that she was pregnant.

And he couldn't take advantage of her like that. Not when someone like that believed in him.

...And like that, Paul had fallen in love with her as well. He fell in love with the innocent and naive healer who turned to him even when she knew he was lying. Who had nowhere else to turn, but still reached out her hand and believed in a piece of trash like him.

Who thought he could be better.

"...But I'm not the only one you love."

And that was the kicker.

...Zenith was right.

He loved her. He loved her more than anything else in the whole world... Well, other than Rudy.

If Paul was being honest, if it came between Zenith and his son, Paul would choose Rudy every time.

...Though mostly because Zenith would beat him up for not choosing Rudy.

Anyway, Paul loved Zenith. And only Zenith.

At first.

But after spending so long around Lilia again... After being used to her gentle presence and her soft smiles. After seeing how Rudy relied on her as well... and how she had forgiven Paul after doing the worst thing a man could to her...

Paul couldn't help it. Before he knew it... Lilia had already taken a piece of his heart. No, she had taken one ever since he ran away from her, even if he didn't know it. While it had been guilt at first, now...

Paul lowered his head and said, "...That's right, Zenith."

He loved Lilia. It wasn't the strong and bright love he had for Zenith where he wanted to be better and do better. But it was a gentle feeling. A soft presence that he wanted to support and protect.

If he had to compare it... if he had to compare them...

Zenith was like a star, bright and inspiring. He wanted to hold her close and run after her. He wanted to make sure that light continued to shine bright forever.

But Lilia... she was like a soft campfire. Dim but warm. Someone that was always there and supporting. Unlike with Zenith where Paul wanted to run after her... Paul just didn't want to leave Lilia.

No. To be more exact, he didn't want to leave Lilia anymore.

He had done that once already. And while she never talked about her life before taking on her job as their maid, he could tell that it hadn't been pretty.

...And it was probably his fault too. She had been the star of the dojo until he arrived. And after what he did... he didn't know, but it seemed like she had been forced to make ends meet one way or another.

Paul clenched his hands on his knee and lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Zenith. I love you, but... I love Lilia too. I know it's wrong. I know it's betraying our wedding vows. But... But I can't just ignore it."

It made his heart churn.

He loved Zenith. But he loved Lilia too.

He loved them both.

But he couldn't love them both.

And he had already chosen Zenith.

He had chosen Zenith, so he couldn't choose Lilia.

But Lilia had suffered so much. And she also didn't have anywhere else to turn. And he didn't want her to leave either.

So...

So...!

A long and deep sigh. Zenith's. "I guess Rudy was right."

Paul froze.

...Rudy? What did he say?

Paul heard Zenith stand up, but he didn't dare to look at her. He couldn't bring himself to after admitting that.

He also felt guilty.

...It was because of him. Because he couldn't control his emotions, their family would be broken up. Either Zenith or Lilia. He had to choose. But no matter who he chose... someone would leave.

How was he going to explain it to Rudy?

The kid already knew just how much of a piece of trash from what he did to Lilia. What would he think if he got back and they had to explain that someone was leaving?

...No. Paul knew what he would think.

It'd be the same.

If Paul was in Rudy's shoes, he would have left. Forget his dad and the maid, he would have clung to his mom and left them both. He'd be hurt, but he'd be more upset at how the two betrayed his mother. His innocent mother who did nothing wrong.

So...

Paul covered his face.

It was over.

Everything was over.

All because...!

"Geez." A soft voice. Zenith's.

Paul looked up and realized that his vision was blurred.

Zenith let out a sad smile and brushed away Paul's tears.

"...Zenith?"

"You know, Paul. You're a lot like Rudy." She pulled her chair over and sat on his right side. After that, she leaned her head against his arm. "You've grown up, but you're still childish at the weirdest times."

"Z-Zenith?"

What was going on? She... wasn't mad?

She grabbed Paul's right hand and laced it with her left. When she did, her wedding ring flashed in the light. After that, Zenith looked over at Lilia and said, "Lily and I talked for a long time about you. About what you did to her. About how her life ended up after that. And about how you are now compared to how you are back then."

Paul flinched and lowered his head, ashamed. "...I know." He looked over at Lilia and said, "...I did something unforgivable to you, Lilia. That-"

"It's fine." A soft response. The first time Lilia had spoken the entire time.

Paul looked up and saw Lilia giving him a gentle smile. "L-Lilia?"

Lilia shook her head and said, "The bastard who attacked me that night disappeared a long time ago." Her smile widened and she said, "Isn't that right, Master Paul?"

She didn't say it outright. But she didn't need to.

'You've changed.'

'You've done enough already.'

'I forgive you.'

Paul's breath caught in his chest and he lowered his head. "Lilia...!"

An arm wrapped around Paul's shoulder. He blinked and looked over to see Zenith hugging him with a playful smile on her face. Poking his nose, she said, "Well then, Mister Scumbag. If you're feeling that guilty about it... how about you do something to fix that?"

"Eh?" Paul blinked. "...What are you talking about, Zenith?"

"Oh... I dunno." Zenith stood up and crossed her arms behind her back, walking away from Paul. "You basically ruined Lily's life and stole her happiness... so how about you work hard to give it back?"

"...Zenith?"

Zenith's paused, her back turned on Paul.

Silence.

And then Zenith said, "...I hurt a lot, you know? I was really worried that it was because you didn't love me anymore."

Paul jumped out of his chair and said, "That's not true! Zenith, I-!"

"I know." Zenith turned around and let out a soft smile. "My husband is just like that." She walked back over and then hugged Paul. "A wild, dashing man who comes and goes like a storm. A hero who's more like a thug, but someone who does his best to take care of the people he loves. And someone who wears his heart on his sleeve... just like our son."

Paul froze. "Zenith..."

She stepped back and let out an exasperated smile. "I thought I could handle you, but it looks like one woman isn't enough to keep you in check. So just this once, I'll make an exception."

"...Zenith?"

She... she wasn't saying what he was thinking she was saying, right?

Zenith stared into Paul's eyes and said, "You. Me. Lily. And Rudy. We're already like a small family... so why don't you make it official?"

"...I don't understand. No, I think I've been knocked in the head a few times today." Paul shook his head and said, "Can you say that again, Zenith?"

"Geez." Zenith sighed and pulled Paul over to Lilia. Once there, Zenith grabbed Lilia's hand and said, "I'm telling you to take responsibility and marry Lilia, you dummy." After saying that, she placed Lilia's hand in Paul's.

Paul's eyes widened.

Lilia blushed and averted her gaze.

"W-Wait!" Paul looked at Zenith. "Seriously?! Z-Zenith... Y-You aren't divorcing me or something, are you?"

Was this a setup? A polite way to say to live happily together?

No, Zenith didn't look like she was upset enough to leave. And she didn't seem like she had any intention to leave either. And then she mentioned making the family official...

Zenith rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Dummy. Though I did think about it..."

Paul gulped.

Zenith sighed and looked at Lilia. "Both of us decided that it'd be too cruel to break our little family up though... especially to Rudy. So we made a compromise." She poked Paul's chest and said, "You're not marrying Lilia. She's marrying you, okay? It's one-sided. You'll be her husband, but she won't be your wife."

Paul blinked. "Wait. How's that going to work? No, what do you mean she won't be my wife? How? Why?"

Zenith walked back around and hugged Lilia. "Isn't it obvious? That's because Lily's going to be *my* wife. We're just... sharing her."

Sharing... Zenith and Lilia...

Two? Both?

...Together?!

Wait?! How did it end up like this?!