Chapter 19
Chapter 19
***
Sponsored by Elizabeth. Thank you ? (2/2)
****
A dark-haired man wearing a formal suit under a brown wool coat tried to raise my hand. Blue eyes looked down at me beneath hair that was the opposite color of Noah's.
"Lieutenant Colonel?
"You need to get up. We have to leave before the soldiers get here."
As soon as Jeffrey finished his words, my hand felt cold. Where am I going? I have nowhere to go. I thought of the eyes of those who looked at me with hatred and condescension at the Admiral's residence.
Even if this world was unfamiliar, I was used to it, so I used to clearly reflect on the terrible disillusionment in my original life. The thought of returning to a life of disdain and loneliness seeped in and froze the blood in my body.
The people I met when I came to Progen were kind to me. I don't want to leave this place, where I can stay as warm as the shelter I found during the harsh blizzard. Originally in the world, I held on with my wealth, but here I have nothing.
I held on to Noah's coat, which covered my shoulders, and sighed heavily. I watched the shimmering breath fade away, and I eventually mocked myself vainly.
I flinched as I looked at the surroundings. There must be soldiers hiding here and there in the garden to provide cover for the Lieutenant Colonel, watching us.
What if Noah finds me and comes this way? My head grew even colder as I thought about it. A lonely wind blew and the dry leaves hanging from the branches of the trees began to rustle.
Suddenly, a cold wind blew across my head. I made a decision. I finally raised my body off the floor, held his hand, and said,
"I'll follow you.
Noah would still be safe if I leave willingly. But we have to leave as soon as possible. If I get caught having a special relationship with him, I may die as a spy too.
If I, the target, follow Jeffrey honestly, he will complete his rescue mission and will not want to engage in unnecessary battles. So I .
Here you are. You don't want to go back. (Noah)
I looked back unconsciously because the formless emotions caught my ankle following the persuasion of reason. The empty feeling resembled an unfulfilled desire for Noah to come and hold me. I wanted to know. I wanted to understand why you treated me kindly and what this feeling was that I couldn't confirm.
Noah's incomprehensible words resonated and gradually revealed their outline. It seemed that he knew all about my situation, that the mercenaries would come kill me, and that Jeffrey would come to my aid. Perhaps that was why the security guards were placed in the mansion and brought in soldiers for the coming-of-age ceremony and engagement ceremony.
You can't die.
If I go back to Bellford, Ill die. Not right away, but someday. But the closest thing to death in the present situation would be Noah. Whatever the reason he's been nice to me, I don't want to see him die, even if I go to the beginning of the abyss on my own. It was a sentiment I was not familiar with, despite the fact that I had feelings. I turned to Jeffrey and tugged weakly on his hand, as if to say hurry up and leave.
Lieutenant Colonel, do you know why my father didn't look for me?
I heard that he had previously carried out a rescue operation, but failed."
My father thought I was going to die here, but seeing I survived for too long and sent mercenaries to kill me.
If hes looking for me.. I replaced the words in my heart with silence, searching for the confusion and hesitation that touched Jeffreys blue eyes. I looked into his blue eyes. He must have noticed that I was treated differently from when I lived there, as he saw my outfit and appearance. I asked again.
"You said you were going to save me?
Yes, I'm trying to save you.
It was a standard answer, following the beliefs and principles of a righteous hero in a novel. Because on the surface I was kidnapped.
"The mission is over, withdraw the soldiers first. If you don't want to die together (Diana)
Jeffrey looked dubious at my words.
"What?
"Theres no need to create unnecessary sacrifices. Right now, there are a hundred or so Progen soldiers and officers, military and police, coming. It means that the Duke knew in advance that you were coming." (Diana)
Maybe the ultimate goal was to use me to trap Noah and kill him, and when Jeffrey saw my imperturbable expression, he nodded and raised his fisted hand, sending a hand signal somewhere.
"I parked the car at the back gate. Let's go quickly." (Jeffrey)
The cold winter north wind blew past me, caressing my cheeks. I heard the sound of gunfire in the distance. Only the white garden behind me was silent.
"Okay."
I followed Jeffrey and boarded a military vehicle built on the back gate. He, who was about to start the car and turn around and enter the side road, pulled out a pistol and pointed to the back with another hand.
"Keep your head down, Diana. Progen is following us."
I did not lower my head. Oddly enough, what I did feel was relief. When I turned my head, I could see someone through the window glass. Suddenly, Noah came out of the iron gate at the back gate and stood in the snow. The view was blurred and it seemed to be in a thick fog.
Still, I could clearly see the snow falling on his silvery hair. The rifle shouldered by Noah, the sharp muzzle tip visible near his face, pointed at the car I was in. His mouth, visible below the muzzle, was straight shut. There were a dozen or so Progen soldiers lined up behind him, holding their guns towards us, and despite that, I wasn't scared at all.
Rather, I considered he was a savior who came to catch me from heading to hell. I sat up straight and watched him quietly, facing his narrowed, murky blue eyes. Noah's eyes grew wider and wider as he spotted me in the car. Numerous emotions crossed my mind. I betrayed him. He must be wondering did I go willingly or was I taken away. What would he do if he thinks I was taken away?
I smiled bitterly at him, holding Noah's coat over my shoulders. We stared at each other for a moment, and it seemed as if everything stopped.
Would he shoot me thinking that I was running away from him? No, it was just an unfounded fear. He doesn't want me to die or get hurt. I have always known that hes such a person for a long time, but I have denied it to myself. I was afraid that if I believed him, I would get hurt.
I could see Noah's expressionless face as he slowly dropped the gun. His empty colored eyes were fixed on me, unblinking. The rims of my eyes were stained red and I was devastated. Through the transparent window that blocked us, his lips moved slowly, as if he was trying to tell me something.
"Diana.
I heard the sound of wheels spinning in a moment, speeding up and getting farther and farther away. I could barely make out the language he was trying to convey. He didn't aim his gun or tell his soldiers to fire. He didn't grab me, and he didn't follow me. I finally turned my head away, gripped by lingering feelings.
The emotions I felt from Noah were always complex and subtle. What he was showing me was very close to possessiveness and a surprising sense of responsibility. In hindsight, he tried to give me exactly what Celine had and enjoyed. It was as if he was trying to compensate me for the discrimination I had suffered in my life because I wasnt loved, unlike my sister who was called a princess. I wondered if the conclusion was to rescue me, fall in love with me and marry me. Why me of all people?
Instead of questioning him because I didn't understand why he was treating me so well, I should have asked him if he really liked me. As he kept checking if I loved him for real, I wanted to know too.
No, I should've just told him the truth that I like this place and I don't want to go back.
This was the source of my regret.
The remaining Belford and Progen troops began to engage, and in the distance, eerie screams and ear-splitting gunfire echoed as they wrapped around the mountainside. It was as clear as if it were coming from right next to me.
Sitting in the auxiliary seat, I covered my ears and crouched down, nuzzling my head into my knees. I felt like I was drowning and let out an inarticulate scream. I have never been in a war. War is just too awful. I hate it.
I will never see that beautiful person again. Will we see each other again after the war? I'm not crying. I should have looked back again at least once, but I didn't. The farewell was as plain as the introduction to the "Farewell Song" that the orchestra was playing.
The car drove on through the darkness of the snowy road. For the first time, the warmth of Noahs body and the last image of him were perfectly etched in my mind as we dispersed into the silent winter night. The only people who had been kind to me, and the most peaceful life I had had since I came to this world, were gradually slipping away.
***
Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Grenendall and I were the only survivors of the Christmas rescue mission. The car that he and I were in did not have a trace of bullets in it.
We crossed the border safely and arrived in Belford. The sun was beginning to rise, and the cold, heavy light of dawn was rising. I could smell the sea as the city with the naval headquarters was approaching.
"Thank you for your help."
I bowed to Jeffrey as I sat in the car. I had to pretend to be as good as I could be because I was in danger of being hunted down and jailed or even shot for cooperating with the enemy.
Miss ClaireThe treatment you got there"
Jeffreys blue eyes took in the details of my expensive dress, accessories, and shoes on my body, and he stopped speaking for a moment when he saw a man's coat over my shoulders. He guessed that meant the shabby and skinny woman he once met had eaten well, gained weight and wore expensive clothes and was treated well while staying with the enemy.
"Let's go to my mansion first."
The Lieutenant Colonel turned the car around and headed for his mansion. When we went to his mansion, I changed clothes, and sat in the room, Jeffrey came in with a knock. His usually sharp features were deliberately gentle to put the child at ease.
I understand what you were doing there. I'm sure you had to do whatever to survive first. But be careful, because you don't want to be found out." (Jeffrey)
I sighed lowly, with no power of excuse. Everything was as troublesome and lethargic as it was before.
"The outfit you were wearing earlier is easy to misunderstand, so I'll get you some simple clothes tomorrow. (Jeffrey)
"I understand."
Jeffrey didn't ask anything. Noah, who was holding a gun, spotted me and didn't give the order to fire, and Jeffrey probably knew most of it from my appearance and reaction.
I did not hate him. He was a man who had risked his life to infiltrate an enemy country and come to my rescue. The fact that he had to save me was the inevitable choice, the only correct one, as befits the righteous male protagonist of the original story. Of course, it was wrong from my personal point of view.
"I'm going to bed now."
With a tired look on my face, I lay down on my bed and pulled the covers over me. Jeffrey quietly left the room and close the door.
"I like to be alone."
I mumbled the words that I had forgotten for a while. I've always been alone, and I've always tried to be alone. The word "alone," which had been my escape and my resting place, seemed to be submerging me in deep, dark water. I covered it up with the rationalization that it was good to be done with this part of my life before my feelings went any deeper.
"Good night. I'll see you tomorrow."
Somewhere I heard the voice I always heard, but it was so quiet in the unfamiliar room that it felt like another world.
The only sound was the winter wind passing by, beating against the window. There was a faint faint scent somewhere in my body.
Perfume.
I received another gift for my coming of age ceremony. I suddenly missed the time with that beautiful crazy man. My chest tingled as if I had been pricked with a needle, and I pulled up the covers and closed my eyes nonchalantly.
I have to go to bed soon, because I have to go back to hell tomorrow.
****
*So the part where Jeffrey said he would give Diana normal clothes to wear instead of the expensive dress she had on, because she was supposedly kidnapped by the enemy (Noah in Progen), and so she was supposed to look like she was tortured or haggard, mistreating ect But here she was well dressed and looked good, so Jeffrey knew she was being treated good there, but others might think she cooperated with the enemy to be treated that good, so she could get killed or imprisoned for being a traitor to her own country, Belford.