I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The Strategist X

- Ah, ah, ah… Chi҉ ҉ zz҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ … Ah…

The Admin of the Infinite Metagame looked bizarre. Its trademark TV noise crackled all over its body. Its voice stuttered like a broken AI, worse than a Vocaloid produced by an amateur composer.

- Chi҉ zz҉ ҉ ҉ … Ah, ah… Ah…

It was clearly in a critical state. Yet, all these peculiar features were mere decorations compared to the anomaly's ‘appearance.’

“Eek.”

The most shocked was Oh Dok-seo. She looked back and forth between the anomaly and me, completely baffled.

“A… A girl…?”

Indeed. The anomaly had taken the form of a 'girl' with 'white hair' in a 'white dress.' The sight of a white girl continuously covered in noise, bleeding black liquid from gunshot wounds, was quite distressing for anyone who had not lost their humanity.

“No, it was planned.”

I dropped the Walther PPK pistol. It was no longer effective. Its role was merely to inflict a critical wound. A little-known fact, but the gun that dealt the final blow to the Korean god wasn’t the Walther PPK. It had malfunctioned. The Walther PPK was perfect for [Chekhov’s Gun] since it failed at the crucial moment. But its role ended here.

“When you were meditating under the waterfall to connect with the god, the writers were trapped in the hotel.”

“Uh, yeah. I remember that….”

“At that time, I asked the writers to write works related to the Admin of the Infinite Metagame.”

Yes. To accurately recall what I told the writers:

‘All you need to do is write. Oh, and make sure the beginning of the new novel includes a god. The god’s name should be the ‘Admin of the Infinite Metagame’.’

‘Get us out of here!’

‘Good luck, writers.’

And when I made this polite request, I also added a specific instruction. I asked them to describe [the Admin of the Infinite Metagame] in the form of the 'white girl' before them. As a result, the weakened [Admin of the Infinite Metagame], having been critically wounded by me, had no choice but to transform into the form imposed by humans. In essence, I had collaborated with the writers to fix the anomaly's appearance.

“Why? What's the significance of that form? Isn’t it in bad taste?”

“Tsk, tsk. Ah, these young otakus today. We can’t communicate.”

“……?”

“Dok-seo, that ‘white girl’ is one of the most fundamental forms in Korean genre literature, the least harmful god’s form. Now that the Admin of the Infinite Metagame has taken this form, it can no longer be a threat to us.”

“……???”

As soon as I finished speaking, the white girl covered in noise reached out a delicate hand and moved her lips.

- Ah, ah, ah, ■, ah.

- Hi? Hi? Hi?

- Hi? I am God.

- Hi, am I God?

- Hi, I am God?

The anomaly repeated the same sentences like a broken cassette tape. Oh Dok-seo's mouth fell open.

“Aaah? Could this be the legendary…?”

“Yes. Let me introduce it. This is the cliché of ‘Hi, I am God.’”

This requires a bit of explanation. Nowadays, protagonists are often reincarnated through accidental traffic accidents by the [Isekai Truck] or deliberate collisions caused by [Bad Comments]. However, in the old days, a different cliché was popular.

By 'old days,' I mean before there were platforms like KakaoPage or Naver Series.

Back then, aspiring writers, who were in their stormy teenage years, wrote parody novels of subculture works. A mega-hit work came from Japan, akin to the Beatles’ British Invasion dominating the American music market. This hit bombarded the minds of young otakus in Korea.

The bomber's name was Fate/Stay Night. Translating this foreign title into human language, it meant 'The Night Where Fate Stays.'

Otaku, blessed by the moonlight, went wild, pouring out parody works. The moon was killing it. Among the characters of Fate/Stay Night was a white-haired, white-dressed girl. Parody writers used this white girl character as an agent of ‘God,’ always appearing in the prologue.

For example, if the prologue started with the protagonist's unfortunate death, they would suddenly find themselves in a white space.

‘W-where am I? I was sure I just died….’

‘Hi? You’re already dead. Since it was an accident, I’ll grant you one wish and let you be reborn in a new world.’

‘What? But who are you?’

‘Me? Well, in your human language, you can call me… the “World.”’

‘The… world?’

‘Yes. Hi? I am the “World.”’

Indeed. Originally, it wasn’t 'God' but the “World.” The key point was to emphasize the divinity with majestic double quotation marks (“”) rather than weak single ones (‘’). Anyway, as such parodies poured in like summer rains, over time, the cliché of ‘a god in the form of a white girl’ began appearing in other decent works. 

The white girl lost her original name of “World” and fully established herself as ‘God.’ She appeared in prologues, sending the protagonist to another world (reincarnation) or turning back time for another chance (regression). This is the historical origin of the ‘white girl’ who says, ‘Hi? I am God.’ One might even call it a literary origin since Fate is literature.

“Well, Fate/Stay Night wasn’t the sole origin. The character ‘Truth’ from Fullmetal Alchemist also played the same role. Japanese AA works depict this too. However, the form of the ‘white girl’ god mainly originated from Fate/Stay Night….”

“None of that TMI is remotely interesting.”

After hearing my impeccable explanation, Oh Dok-seo looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.

“Besides, you said you got into subculture around the 555th cycle because of me. How do you know about the ’90s?”

“Hey, it wasn’t the ’90s; it was the 2000s. And in cycles 555, 556, and 557, I dedicated myself to subculture. I restored and read all old materials, including all hidden drafts on various forums.”

“Damn, now I see you're not just a problem with the Three Kingdoms; you're a total disaster. What kind of monster did my past self get into subculture…?”

Just then, there was a cough beside me. The Saintess was watching us with an expressionless face.

“Regardless of the origin, the current form of the Admin of the Infinite Metagame is the least harmful god’s form, correct?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Then it’s time to deliver the final blow and end this speedrun stream.”

Indeed.

“Dok-seo.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Take out the laptop and start it up.”

“…….”

Oh Dok-seo pulled out the laptop from her backpack. It was the same relic left by the Admin of the Infinite Metagame. On the white desktop screen, the same questions and answers were inscribed as before.

[ W h a t is t h i s w or l d? ]

[ This world is a ‘speedrun’ game stream. ]

It was a battle for the power to interpret the world. We had won. We did not hand over the world to a mere anomaly. I put my hand on Dok-seo’s shoulder.

“In the ‘Hi, I am God’ cliché, the god must grant one wish to a human.”

“…….”

“Tell that anomaly. ‘My wish is for you to acknowledge this answer as well.’ As the anomaly’s apostle, you can impose your interpretation on it.”

Crack!

The noise covering the anomaly intensified. It was desperately trying to maintain its existence. The anomaly reached out and grabbed Dok-seo’s foot, as if pleading with her.

- W-warn… ing. 

- The Undertaker is dangerous.

It managed to speak. Both Dok-seo and the Saintess hesitated. In that brief moment of hesitation, the anomaly muttered.

- The Undertaker is a regressor. 

- A regressor is an absolute entity. No one but the regressor can perceive the repetition of the world. Thus, the regressor grows to dominate time and causality. 

- The Undertaker is exterminating entities known as ‘anomalies’ that can recognize his regression.

- To monopolize time alone.

“…….”

- If this entity is sealed, there will be one less entity to interfere with the Undertaker’s regression. 

- Granting absolute control over time to the regressor. Is this the right choice for humanity?

- The one to be subdued is not this entity, but the Undertaker. This entity is an ally.

- The existence of the regressor should be known to humanity through Oh Dok-seo.

- The Undertaker calls this entity an anomaly. Question. Is not the Undertaker the most dangerous anomaly of all?

“…….”

- Originally, ‘regressors’ are a common cliché in creative works. Only this entity can block the regressor.

- Warning. If this entity is sealed, humanity will have no hope left. The regressor will exist independently outside the net of creative works.

- Oh Dok-seo.

- You must subdue the regressor and become the protagonist yourself.

A silence fell over the white space. The primary weight of this silence came from the Saintess. Though we never spoke of it, the Saintess and I watched over each other as mutual guardians. Should either of us fall, the other would immediately take them down.

The anomaly tried to incite discord between us, but like all provocations, there was about 10% truth in its words. However, I didn’t bother to refute or argue, simply waiting for Oh Dok-seo’s response. I trusted her, and she trusted me. If either of us wavered due to an outsider’s words, it wasn’t true trust or friendship.

“...Mister.”

“Yeah.”

“Just to be sure, do we have to stick to the ‘speedrun game stream’ format to seal this anomaly?”

She asked. I blinked and tilted my head.

“Well, if there’s a better way, that’s fine too….”

“Alright.”

Oh Dok-seo sat down and placed the laptop on her lap. Her fingers danced across the keyboard like a skilled pianist.

“In that case, I think this is much better than a speedrun broadcast.”

She turned the laptop to show us. On the white screen, a new answer was written in large letters.

[ W h a t i s t h i s w o r l d? ]

[ This world is a novel written by ‘Oh Dok-seo’ about the ‘Undertaker.’ ]

Holding the laptop, Oh Dok-seo spoke.

“I’ll write your story, Mister.”

Footnotes:

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