I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

The Strategist VIII

"Wait! Hold on, Mister!"

Oh Dok-seo screamed.

"If this keeps up, all our Outer God-class forces will become ordinary! Aren't we screwed?"

"Hmm."

Witnessing the same cliché, I thought of 'Vegeta,' while Oh Dok-seo thought of 'ordinary.' A good example of how otaku perceptions change over generations. Unfortunately, it wasn't the right time to discuss the 'images and symbols' of subculture.

In real-time, the students of Baekhwa Girls' High School (Night Class) were getting trounced by the Infinite Metagame.

- Hik, hik, hik, hik!

- Do you want purple toilet paper? Do you want purple toilet paper?

In the 16-bit low-resolution realm unfolded by the Infinite Metagame, darkly dotted NPCs respawned and attacked the ghosts of Baekhwa Girls' High School.

They were 'Necromancer' NPCs. Clad in gloomy robes, wielding bizarrely twisted staffs, and adorned with delicate candle decorations that were too weak to serve as proper lighting. Their very existence screamed "outcast," a vibe that even 16-bit graphics couldn't hide.

- Hehe, the world is full of specters.

- I shall capture and use them!

- Kongkong ghost? I'll hang it on the grandfather clock as an alarm sound. The sound of a head smashing is delightful.

The ghosts were in utter panic. Although recent MZ generation necromancers were known to attend academies, date, and spend lavishly as diamond-spoon heirs, in the RPG world, the perception of necromancers was still at the lowest tier, alongside thieves.

Despite this, the ghosts of Baekhwa Girls' High School were a close-knit, lively group. They were utterly powerless against the necromancer NPCs' vengeful black magic.

"You bastards!"

Cheon Yo-hwa, an awakener who once claimed to be the original necromancer of the Korean Peninsula, was furious.

"Stop bullying my friends!"

Wham! Cheon Yo-hwa dashed forward at full speed and kicked a necromancer's head. In the battlefield where both NPCs and ghosts had devolved to 16-bit, Cheon Yo-hwa alone flaunted high-definition realistic graphics. Despite being in a human body, and even under the 'weakened former enemy' cliché debuff, Cheon Yo-hwa was still Cheon Yo-hwa. Red aura flew in all directions, and the 16-bit blood of NPCs scattered. Cheon Yo-hwa quickly decimated the group of necromancers.

- D-Demon King!

"Huh?"

- The Demon King has appeared!

As the necromancers shouted, a blue wing flapped in the sky.

[The Admin of the Infinite Metagame points out that the Infinite Void is slaughtering humans on behalf of monsters.]

[Activates the 'Demon King's Appearance' cliché, along with the 'Humanity's Alliance to Subdue the Demon King' cliché.]

Bzzzzt!

New NPCs appeared in the Infinite Metagame's realm. Despite the downgraded graphics, their unique characteristics were unmistakably clear. They were 'Priest' and 'Saintess' NPCs.

- Behold the despicable acts of the Demon King!

- Necromancers have strayed from the path of righteousness, but they are still human. They cannot be compared to monsters inherently inhuman.

- O God! Help us!

Following the black magic necromancers, white magic priests simultaneously launched long-range holy spells at Cheon Yo-hwa.

Cheon Yo-hwa screamed.

“Hikyaaaah!”

She had every right to scream. The parts hit by the holy spells devolved from realistic graphics to 16-bit graphics. Cheon Yo-hwa's right arm and left leg were buzzing, their resolution dropping.

Even the core of the Infinite Void was starting to be corrupted by the Infinite Metagame.

"Sunbae! Sunbaaeeee!"

Cheon Yo-hwa called out desperately for my help while dodging the long-range attacks. The holy magic's attribute was a terrible match. Wasn't Cheon Yo-hwa aligned with black magic? She was being chased by hundreds, no, thousands of respawned priest NPCs.

Beside me, Oh Dok-seo watched the surreal chase and said nervously.

"Shouldn't we help her, Mister?"

"Well, if I step in, I could easily sweep away the NPCs. But the main enemy in this subjugation battle is the Infinite Metagame. If I get caught up in that bastard’s play and hit by a 'cliché,' it'll put us at a disadvantage."

"Oh."

"It's better for me to stay on standby to deliver the final blow. Dok-seo, rather than getting entangled in the enemy’s tactics, we should exploit their weakness. Is there a cliché we can claim in this situation?"

You're an otaku, aren't you? Oh Dok-seo understood my implication instantly. She groaned.

"Uh. Wait a minute, a cliché... So, right now, the Outer God has formed an alliance to subdue the Demon King and monsters..."

At that moment, Oh Dok-seo's eyes sparkled.

"...Ah! Ah! That, that one! That one!"

"That one?"

"The story where monsters were just minding their own business, but evil humans attacked first, killing them for fun and making them slaves! The 'humans are the real villains' cliché! There are tons of novels and comics with this theme!"

Oh Dok-seo ran out like Archimedes shouting Eureka. Ahead, the Hanako ghost, half-dead from a necromancer's attack, lay on the ground. The sight of red, blue, and purple toilet paper scattered around was striking.

Press.

Oh Dok-seo knelt down and hugged the Hanako ghost's shoulder.

- Purple toilet paper?

The Hanako ghost looked bewildered, while Oh Dok-seo put on a face full of pent-up sorrow. Then she shouted, in a voice full of injustice.

"Why...!"

- Purple toilet paper?

"Why do humans oppress us like this...!"

There was a pause. The blue butterfly, taken aback by Oh Dok-seo’s fervent cry, paused its movement. It wasn't just the butterfly. The thousands of priests and saintesses who were joyfully chasing Cheon Yo-hwa also turned their heads in unison. With all eyes on him, Oh Dok-seo continued her performance without hesitation or shame.

"Hanako just wanted to give toilet paper to people in the bathroom…!"

- Purple toilet paper?

"The Kongkong ghost only moves with its head instead of its legs! Humans, just because we're different, they abuse, despise, and torment us so much! Curse them! Curse the humans...!"

Even the ghosts of Baekhwa Girls' High School, who were half-subdued, and Cheon Yo-hwa, who was panting after the brief respite from the chase, had peculiar expressions. Were we really that good-natured?

However, in creative works, real-world history wasn't that important. If realism mattered, King Arthur would have been a man.

[The Admin of the Infinite Metagame accepts the apostle’s claim.]

And this was the loophole of the anomaly. I wanted to applaud.

'Well done, Dok-seo! That's it!'

Anomalies couldn’t reject their essence. Especially not the apostle, who the Infinite Metagame had appointed as its champion. If the apostle prayed loudly, the god had to listen. Refusing would damage the Infinite Metagame itself. At least, the apostle could exploit the power of the Outer God.

This was why the apostle had to be recruited as an ally in the operation to subdue the Outer God.

[The cliché 'Humans were the real villains' has been activated.]

Then, the real chaos began.

- Would you like some purple toilet paper?

- I actually wanted to walk with my legs, not my head.

Suddenly, the faces of the ghosts became more 'human.' Their noses straightened, lips aligned, and, most importantly, their eyes sparkled with focus. Just like in stories where goblins resemble humans when they become protagonists! The ghosts' language abilities also evolved suddenly. Their faces gained realism. This was the miracle of the inhuman genre.

"Why are the temple priests coming to aid necromancers who tried to capture ghosts and got defeated in turn!"

The anomaly's apostle, Oh Dok-seo, who performed the miracle, pointed to the sky.

"Moreover, not just a few, but thousands of priests have united at once! This means the necromancers and the temple secretly had connections! It makes sense!"

Incredible. I clapped for real this time. How to handle this? Is our Dok-seo a genius?

- Connection? What does that mean?

- It seems to imply some sort of relationship.

- Our temple was secretly connected with necromancers?

Murmurs. The 16-bit NPCs started to panic. Even amidst this, they maintained the detail of not understanding the word 'connection,' staying true to the fantasy world. Oh Dok-seo shouted.

"Monsters were always unhappy! They were always unfairly mistreated! We were not bad!"

Strictly speaking, the only ones who were unhappy were those of us who took the 'Hate Pill': Oh Dok-seo, me, and the Saintess. But indeed, misfortune had piled on our side. 

I hadn't described it due to my lack of interest in desolate stories, but in this cycle, while subduing the Infinite Void in the 'Room of Spirit and Time,' we faced considerable misfortune. Oh Dok-seo delivered the final blow.

"The high priests of the temple were the masterminds behind the necromancers! When necromancers captured spirits, the high priests took credit for it, and in return, they gave the necromancers various privileges!"

- Is that true, priest?

- Nonsense! That can't be true!

"It can't be true? In stories, there's a 99% chance that high priests are corrupt! I bet at least one cardinal is possessed by a demon!"

- What?

- How could that be...?

[The Admin of the Infinite Metagame accepts the apostle’s claim.]

[The clichés 'Corruption of High Priests,' 'The Dark Secret Behind the Temple’s Leadership,' and 'Demon Summoning by Priests’ have been activated.]

- How did she know? Hehe. Now that we’re exposed, we’ll offer you all as sacrifices!

- Kyaaaah! The cardinal has gone mad!

Tens of thousands of NPCs (the number had increased again) started fighting amongst themselves. The hotel's back garden had long been turned into a battlefield. A religious war had erupted in the dead of night.

Then.

"...Oh. I'm getting stronger again."

Cheon Yo-hwa's right arm and left leg were restored to normal.

"Take this."

- Aaaagh! The Demon King has revived!

Without hesitation, Cheon Yo-hwa turned around and smashed the priests' heads again. Seeing her selectively target 'somewhat sinister-looking' corrupt priests, Cheon Yo-hwa seemed to have grasped the situation roughly.

The Infinite Metagame was once again cornered. It had few options left.

[The Admin of the Infinite Metagame points out that although there may be faults on the human side, monsters also have many flaws.]

[Monsters have also slaughtered countless lives.]

[The cliché 'There are no good or bad sides, only power struggles' has been activated.]

Now it was relativism!

This was a classic escape route in works dealing with good and evil. By adopting a relativistic view, all disputes were dismissed, ensuring victory in every debate.

The situation reached a stalemate again. The Infinite Metagame was likely looking for a chance to flee, suggesting a draw. But we couldn't let the devious Outer God that manipulated clichés from behind escape.

'Saintess.'

I moved my lips. The Saintess, who must have been observing the battle while stopping time occasionally, decoded my silent message. The message was relayed from me to the Saintess, then from the Saintess to Oh Dok-seo. Reading my intent, Oh Dok-seo shouted immediately.

"Monsters kill lives, and humans kill lives! No matter which race or land, the world is full of tragedy!"

Thus, it was effectively a statement from me, the Saintess, and Oh Dok-seo simultaneously.

"If the world is just tragedy and life is only suffering, then, I ask, what kind of existence is a 'god' in such a world!"

There was a pause. The tens of thousands of NPCs, the ghosts who were fighting valiantly but being overwhelmed by sheer numbers, all stopped. The 16-bit anomalies that mimicked human expressions, thus emphasizing the uncanny valley, all paused.

Oh Dok-seo, bearing the inorganic gazes of tens of thousands of eyes, swallowed and pointed to the sky.

"If the world is evil, doesn't that mean the god who allowed such evil is at fault?"

Exactly. The Infinite Metagame had made a mistake.

In reality, relativism might work to some extent. But what if a 'god' clearly existed? Especially if that god openly declared, 'The world is inherently evil, and only power struggles are legitimate.'

"Why should we serve such a god as our deity?"

The Infinite Metagame might have thought it had made the best move, but it had actually made the worst blunder.

"We have no reason to endlessly kill and be killed! The true enemy to be subdued is the god who imposed this hell upon us! Our only enemy is the Evil God!"

Following Oh Dok-seo's vehement declaration, all humans and anomalies looked up to the sky in unison. There, the blue butterfly hovered.

[The Admin of the Infinite Metagam accepts the apostle’s claim.]

[The cliché 'The true final boss was the god' has been activated.]

Footnotes:

Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried