Humanity Online: World Sanctuary

Chapter 104: The Rise of Chaos Trash

(A/N:  I saved the LiveStream Comments until now instead of posting them as the Dungeon went along, partially because I didn't want them messing up the Dungeon Flow, and partially because I figured this would be a good way to remind everyone of all the crazy shenanigans Chaos Party got up to while LiveStreaming Blackguard Bog. Refers to Events starting in Chapter 86: Apocalyptic Prick Party.)

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| Tara, Realm One - Gael |

The bright, bustling Tara Market is a pleasant contrast to the silent, gray Blackguard Bog where we'd just spent hours slogging through muck and monsters.

The square is everything I was hoping for and more when I sent my Liaison Alfryd out with a to do list as long as my arm. Not only did he manage to secure contracts with enough high-class businesses to fill in all the best spots around the square, but he also enlisted the help of several artisans, including Brodie and Arachne, to spruce up the stalls and make them even more attractive than I ever saw them in the beta.

The effect is not only eye-catching and welcoming, but it makes the market look even more like a special set-up by the game to entice Players to the Capitol. No one would ever suspect a healthy percentage of their coins are going right into a couple of Players' pockets.

(Since Taliesin just handed me all his damn money without missing a beat when I was investing this morning, I obviously had to pay the too-trusting bugger back somehow. Alfryd suggested 3% shares...so I decided on 5%.)

Ignorant of the Market's secrets, Nightfury, Kara, and Nanuk smile normally at all the stalls and make plans to hit up some of them before we take off on our next adventure.

Taliesin and I, on the other hand, stare greedily at our investments, one step away from forcing the Nova AI to animate cartoon dollar signs over our eyes.

{Aether Alert: Reminder! Log Out Imminent. You have 5 in-game minutes to move to a secure location.}

The flashing alert and large neon numbers initiating the countdown in the corner of my vision effectively knock me back to my senses.

Without wasting another second, I pull out the Special Nova Item: Teleportation Portal Key, and kneel down in the center of the Portal Circle to unlock Intra-Realm Teleportation.  The key inserts into the Celtic design on the ground, and when I twist it, the portal unlocks with a rush of warm wind, fanfare music, and beautiful glowing lights that spin around our Party.

All of our HP and SP bars fill up completely, plus we gain a consumable+100 Boost to both. As Party Leader and holder of the Key, I also receive bonus EXP and +1 VIT. Since the beta reward was higher, I have a feeling Kara received half of my bonus, since she was the person Anansi originally gifted the Key to.

I'm glad. 

[Realm Notification (Gael): INTRA-REALM TELEPORTATION OPENS  - Congratulations to Chaos Party for completing the Hidden Challenge: Complete Three Nightmare Mode Dungeon Runs! Entire Realm Rewarded with Teleportation Portals opening throughout Gael and One Week of Free Travel. To stimulate Gael Economy, all In-Realm Players also rewarded +10 Silver.  Erebus, Kara Geir, Nightfury, Nanuk, Taliesin; Party Members Rewarded +300 Gael Reputation Points, +10 Gold, +50,000 EXP, Mythic Hero Bonus]

[City Notification (Tara): FIRST TELEPORTATION POINT- As a thank you to Chaos Party for choosing Capitol City Tara as the site for Teleportation Key Entry, Party Members Rewarded +250 Tara Reputation Points, +25 Gold Coupon Good for Tara Businesses, Eternal Free Teleportation Access to Tara]

As always, amazing rewards from the generous Nova AI. She may fuck with me. Like, a lot. But she doesn't fuck around with my goodies. Free Teleportation to Tara alone will save us a bundle since it costs a full Gold coin to teleport to Capitol Cities (50 silvers for other Cities, 25 silvers for Towns, 10 silvers for Villages).

One of the main reasons I was in such a hurry to get the Marketplace set up for today is the fact that we can guarantee practically every Player is going to take advantage of the week of free travel to go to Tara at least once, and they'll have at least 10 silvers burning a hole in their pockets. I was really hoping that aspect of the game hadn't changed from the beta, since the downside of opening the Teleportation Portal so early is that a lot of Players haven't earned much money yet.

Luckily, since travel to major Towns and Cities is inconvenient without teleportation, most Players have also been saving what they've earned, since they haven't had anywhere worthwhile to spend their coins. 

I don't give our Party much time to revel in our latest rewards. Instead, I just quietly announce, "Five Minutes," and hail a carriage. Suddenly subdued, my Party clambers in behind me as I tell the driver the address of my new house and slip him some coins.

The closer we get to my place, the more the atmosphere in the carriage grows awkward. Everyone is studiously avoiding discussing my impending Forced Log Out and That Related Thing We Are Pretending Never Happened

aka, my pathetic panic attack and emotional breakdown of epic proportions

but they can't stop thinking about it, so no one's coming up with anything ELSE to talk about, either.

As per usual, Little Ball of Perpetual Sunshine, Liam "Taliesin" Dunleavy, saves the day with his overeager enthusiasm and impressive ability to ignore negative social cues.

"Have you guys checked out the comments on our LiveStream yet? They're crazy and hilarious and I think we have a fan club!?"

Thank the Gods for annoyingly chipper teenagers and the internet's terrifying ability to turn anyone into fandom trash.

As we all scour the ridiculous comments section on our own virtual windows, the rest of the ride passes in a much more relaxed silence, broken by the occasional one-liner read aloud, snorts, giggles, and a variety of muttered curses and exclamations. 

All in all, for a group of gamer nerds, it's the perfect way to relieve tension and ignore problems. I ruffle Taliesin's fluffy hair, lean against Kara's warm side, and silently wish time would slow down and let this carriage ride last forever.

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LIVESTREAM COMMENTS

Not_YeQiu:  I was going to leave a comment judging how this is just a video of Erebus being an egomaniacal ass for three hours straight, except I watched the entire thing and now I'm judging myself

--- God:  You're Chaos Trash now, my friend. Embrace the Darkness.

Kvasir:  Uhh, I don't know what's going on, but I'm typing on behalf of my roommate, who is currently in a drunken stupor. He wants everyone know he "Finished the Erebus Yeets Shit Drinking Game like a MothaEffin Boss Yeet Yeet!" and also if he dies, it was worth it???

--- gratuitousgigi:  ^probably you should take him to the hospital.

--- I_Simp_Erebus:  ^^probably everyone who participated should be in the hospital

--- Black Stabbath:  omw 2 hopital nowww. yeet yeeeeeeeeeet

--- Ivan the Tolerable:  #worth1t

--- ShiaSURPRISE: #worth1t x2

--- I'm A Horse for Loki:  #worth1t x69 ( )

SummerHugs:  *screenshot of Erebus blushing lightly and smiling when Kara calls him Leader-y and his teammates all prove they trust him*

--- SummerHugs:  GASP. MY HEART! That was no smirk! Erebus smiled FOR REAL!?!

--- I_Simp_Erebus:  erebus's smile. so amazing. so blessed. my acne's cleared. i've aced my exams. my crops are lush and plentiful.

---SoullessButHappy:  and it was none other than Kara who pulled it out of him! #karebus

---Taliebus_Brotherhood:  that smile single-handedly saved this year

--- Captain Underpants:  His smile may have saved you, but it was his friggin' OP underwear that saved him. WTF @SilkenStrands!?

Arachne:  *video clip mashup of every time Erebus' rose-thorn ASS-ASS-IN boxers absolutely destroyed an attacker, with Taliesin's impromptu commercial voiceover: "Boxers Bro limited edition underwearthey pack a punch AND make a statement! Only available at Silken Strands!"*

--- Here.For.It:  there were so many close-ups of Erebus's ass in this, I thought I was watching Chris from Yuri on Ice #notcomplaining #rewatched10x #boygotaBlackWidowbooty

--- Erebus:  @Arachne I hate you with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

--- Arachne:  Remember that time you broke your boxers' durability and were left naked except for a winking emoji where your junk should be? ...Sure would be a shame if I stopped providing you with replacement underwear... (^_)

--- Erebus:  heh heh typo! I meant I HEART you with the passion of a thousand burning suns. 

--- Nightfury:  you're sure sweating a lot, boxers bro

--- Erebus:  BECAUSE SUNS ARE HOT, JACKASS

--- Taliesin:  Murdered.AF_reaction *reaction gif of Loimos' stupid 'i done fucked up' face and then KABOOM* 

--- Erebus:  bro. did you add that contract clause just so you could turn that perv's death into a reaction gif?

--- Taliesin: 

--- MothaEffinOedipus:  ...Lil CinnaBro is scary as shit.

Thokk:  ...did...did he....DID BOXERS BRO KILL A FUCKING BOSS WITH THE POWER OF HIS FUCKING UNDERWEAR?!?!

--- gratuitousgigi:    (softly, but with feeling) what in the fuck

--- longjohnsilver:  when my dad walked in during that part I switched to porn bc that was easier to explain

Unwittingly Invested:  *blurry screenshot of Erebus sunk up to his neck in bog water after the HinkyPunk Hidden Boss battle, with what looks like tears on his face*

--- Unwittingly Invested:  Anyone else shed a tear or two when Erebus looked so devastated here?

--- (2000+ comments debating whether the Chaos God is actually crying or if it's just realistic game animation drips from the splashing water)

...

--- Unwittingly Invested:  Whether the tears are real or not, Can we all agree that counter-curse is BOGUS AF?! Shame on you, @Vir-Tech!!

--- Lazer Chicken:  ^yass x1000 SHAMEEEE

--- AwesomeSauce:  it's not like they coded an entire Hidden Boss and a Curse specially for Erebus just to nerf him or something. don't be ridiculous

---  SoullessButHappy: I'd believe it tbh

--- Oh Ur Dead:  he's not THAT good for chrissake

--- Shadeslayer: uhhhh what videos have YOU been watching brosef?

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BONUS:

A/N: I added this to the end of Chapter 92: Dumb Ass Jokes, but if you don't feel like going back there to read, here are the comments that follow poor Nightfury's sad attempt at making a butt joke:

(Scene Reminder: Erebus is rocking his ASS-ASS-IN boxers for the first time, so everyone in the Party yells a butt joke cheesy pick-up line at him. They all peer pressure Nightfury into making up one, too. Except he panics and the first thing he thinks of is: "Uh...so...I'm an asshole. Will that stop me from getting in yours?" ... and then he wishes for the sweet release of death. Poor poor dragon boy.)

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RELATED COMMENTS

F3AR R3AP3R:  I'm not hallucinating, right? Nightfury justSAID THATright?

---Here.For.It:  #Eury confirmed. Graphically.

---De_Nile:  every day we stray further from god's grace

---kitkatt: oh noo can someone teach our poor dragon bby how cheesy pick-up lines work?

---Erebus: Hell no. No one teach him a THING.

---Long-Live-the-Queen-and-Betty-White:  y'all need jesus

---Shazaam:  *whispers* gaaay