How To Raise Your Regressor

"Ah, by the way, did you hear?" Jennifer asked as if she had just remembered something.

"No."

I denied because I naturally hadn't heard anything during the time I was in my room. And since I hadn't left my room, I was naturally unaware of what Jennifer was talking about.

Hmm, now that I think about it, someone in my position would be expected to leave their room to, I dunno, explore this Guildhouse or some similar cringey shit, but you know ya boi was too preoccupied with thinking about how to die in the most horrible way for an ez gg in the bloody bois' challenge.

"A warehouse in the forest outside the city was burnt down," Jennifer continued 'normally', yet a probing gaze was masterfully hidden behind her eyes.

Seems like this little mamacita suspects that I have something to do with that burning.

And honestly, I have no idea why she would think that.

I don't remember burning down a warehouse; hell, I don't even remember using anything even remotely related to heat today.

Oh, no, wait.

Our kidnapped child had been held hostage in a warehouse located in the forest by Tristan. I almost forgot about that.

I obviously didn't burn it down, so I suppose Tristan's so-called organisation came around to investigate and erased all traces.

I wonder if they liked the scrumptious feast I prepared for them.

They should have.

I mean, the aroma itself was so tantalising that if my self-control was even slightly lacking, I would have indulged in that food myself and finished it all.

Sadge.

Huh, maybe I should impart my superior culinary skills to Neia.

Sure, there might be some ethical concerns over the… ingredients, but I'm sure she'll get around.

If not, I'll just dock her pay to such an extent that she would not be able to live on her wages.

Capitalism solves everything. Ez.

"There's a warehouse in the forest?" I asked confusedly.

Naturally, no matter how hungry, sleep deprived, suicidal and whimsical I was, my IQ hadn't degraded to the point that I would just straight up agree to having a hand in the burning down of this warehouse.

I mean, agreeing would have meant saying the truth, and as a Professional Liar, I'd rather die.

"Apparently," Jennifer said as she sat down at the corner of my bed.

How rude of her to not ask for my permission.

"Apparently? So you didn't know about it either?"

I doubt she did.

Unless she's a member of Tristan's organisation.

Hmmmm.

"Nope," she shook her head. "The guards stationed at the gates saw smoke coming from the forest. Upon investigating, they found a burnt down warehouse."

First of all, whose genius idea was it to burn down a warehouse right in the middle of a forest?

"Interesting, I suppose," I slowly nodded. "Do you know whose warehouse it was?"

"Not yet. We didn't find anything in there."

So they disposed of all the bodies. Nice.

Clean up is always the hardest part of killing someone, and the step where almost all the murderers get caught.

Trust me, I'd know.

Because I'm the one who catches them.

And also sometimes get caught like that.

It's the cruel cycle of life.

"I see. Well, uh, keep me posted in case something turns up, I guess?"

Not that I'm actually interested.

Killing myself>>>>>>>>>>cringe child kidnapping organisation.

"I was hoping you could tell me something about it."

"I wish I did."

"A shame."

"Why don't you ask Azell? Maybe he knows something."

"Don't worry, I will."

"Nice."

Responsibility deflected. Nice work, me.

"Anyway, time for breakfast," she grinned obnoxiously.

"Of course," I also rolled my eyes obnoxiously. "And what's for today's breakfast?"

"Bacon and eggs."

More mediocre food. Sed lyf.

"Well, lead the way, I suppose."

"You want the Guild leader to personally take you to your breakfast?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Yes. Yes, I do."

She sure likes throwing around her authority as the Guild Leader, as if it's some amazing thing.

I mean, it might be from this country, or maybe even this world's standard, especially when we consider that hers is the most influential Guild of this country.

But ultimately, she's just a Guild Leader.

Hmm, perhaps she's used to being given special treatment by everyone, so she expects the same from me? Or maybe she's just a gigantic asshole.

Oh wait, she's also the strongest human, if I remember correctly.

"Fair enough," she scoffed.

"This reminds me, you are the Strongest Human, aren't you?"

"…Well," she sighed slightly, as if she was tired of being asked that. "I am called that, yes."

"Is it true?"

"At the very least, I have yet to see anyone stronger than me," she shrugged.

Interesting.

"But are you just the strongest human, or are you the strongest existence?"

"What do you mean?"

Of course, I have to elaborate further to explain a very simple point. How original.

"I'm simply asking whether you are the strongest among all the species that exist on this planet. Well, sentient species, to be more precise."

"Hmmm…." She squinted as she rubbed her chin. "I don't know…"

Of course, she doesn't.

"Okay, let's see. Are you stronger than Arteria?"

Let's compare her with our friendly blood sucking fiend.

"Perhaps. We did have a friendly duel once, and I emerged victorious. But I'm sure she has many tricks up her sleeve, so who knows what will happen in a real fight."

She sure is modest for someone who loves throwing around her authority as the Guild Leader.

"Did you go all out in your duel against her?"

"I didn't need to."

She didn't need to go all out against an Ancient Vampire? Alright.

"Do you also have tricks up your sleeve that could help you win a heavily disadvantageous fight?"

"Obviously," she replied in a matter of fact tone.

"Then it might be safe to say that you are at least on the same level as Arteria."

"I know."

The gall of this woman.

Let's see if she can maintain the same attitude once she has a 'friendly duel' with Arteria MK-II.

"What about Vafferan?"

"It wasn't exactly easy, but yes, I did win against her."

What a pathetic Ultimate Weapon.

"What about Azell and Noelle?"

"I also won against them."

"And dragons?"

"I have felled several dragons, yes. Where are you getting with this?" Her tone held a slight tinge of interest.

"Well, I'm just wondering whether you are the Sword."

"The Sword?" She frowned.

"The Sword this world has prepared to fight the Aggressors."

"…" Her eyes widened. "There's something like that?"

"Of course," I nodded. "And so far, you seem to be the most likely candidate."

Needless to say, I'm not lying.