Honey Stewed Squid

Chapter 23 - Little Software Maestro?

The conference call came to an end.

As he had just finished a long-haul flight, Gun’s back and waist felt somewhat tired and sore, and he did not have much of an appetite. However, after glancing beside him at the little girl, who had already sat in mortification for ten minutes, he decided to temporarily abandon the plan of going back to his room to sleep and punched the button for an internal line. “Anyone there?”

“Leader.” Immediately, his assistant cried animatedly, “You’re done your meeting?”

“Have 97 and the others come in, and also order me two takeout boxed dinners.”

“No problem!”

Three minutes later, all the team members, each holding their half-eaten dinners, filed in.

When they saw Tong Nian, their eyes brightened, and they all wore excited expressions of “Sister-In-Law, we meet again.” Then, they instantly noticed the two words, “come here,” written on the glass and began to look at one another, silently exchanging meaningful glances.

This… is Leader’s new way of getting his romantic kicks?

How come we can’t imagine how they were playing?

……

Gun was sitting in the single chair at the end of the conference table while Tong Nian sat by a window off to the very side and close beside him. By the time the seventeen or eighteen grown boys had all taken their seats, the table was completely covered with all sorts of boxed dinners, McDonald’s, KFC, ma la tang[1] [various ingredients inside a numbingly spicy broth]…

Two male assistants carried in an entire bin filled with beverages and set it on the table.

The atmosphere in the room instantly lit up.

This was the first time Leader had brought Sister-In-Law to have dinner with everyone in the club’s gaming house. It was completely different from last time, when they had met her halfway through the competition and then went to a restaurant. This place here was K&K, their lair.

Gun took in everyone’s fiendish expressions. With a smile that went only skin-deep, he pulled out a fistful of fruit candies from his pocket.

On the table, he set them down.

Instantaneously, there was no more noise whatsoever.

Tong Nian was still clutching her mobile phone with a death grip. Racing nonstop through her mind were the wordings of “looooong legs,” “nosebleed,” and “Loli face and big boobs,” and her fingers were white from her tight grip…

Honest. Never before had she made such a fool of herself…

And in front of him, too…

Someone rapped on the glass tabletop in front of her with a mobile phone, waking her from her thoughts.

Lifting her head, Tong Nian saw Gun, from within the pile of candy, find a green one, and bending his finger, he flicked it toward her. The fruit candy slid noiselessly across the surface of the table, slowly coming to a rest before her.

Gun raised his brows, motioning that she should have the candy.

“Mm…”

Tong Nian sluggishly set down her phone, picked up the candy obediently, unwrapped it, and put it in her mouth.

The entire group gawked, deeply stunned by this scene…

This… This… This…

This was Leader… being sweet to try to make Sister-In-Law happy?!

Detecting everybody’s rather uncurbed onlooking, Gun ran his eyes over each person, finally landing his gaze on demo. “I remember, before I left, your results from the reaction time testing were third from the bottom of the pile.”

“That…” demo felt his good days had utterly come to an end. “Leader, I’ve actually been working on my reaction time this month…”

Aren’t there two others who are second from the bottom and absolute bottom of the pile? Why do you have to choose me to be the one to get chewed out? …

“Really?” Gun also chose a purple one for himself. Leisurely unwrapping it, he put it between his teeth, bit down, and held it there…

“Honest! Leader! I’ve used that software to test my reaction time now. 201!”

Everyone gave an inward wince and looked ruefully at demo.

And he had even dared announce the number. Captain’s test result was 106.

“Oh? Why do I recall that Dt’s is 106?” Sure enough, Gun pulled out Dt’s score.

“……” demo banged his head against the table. “Leader, I’m in the wrong…”

Gun was not in a rush to say anything. Crushing the candy between his teeth, he relished in the taste.

Each person gripped his chopsticks, drinking straw, spoon, or fork and quietly waited to see who would be the next to fall into bad luck and have his name “specially” called out…

All of a sudden, in the spot closest to that Great Demon Overlord, a very well-behaved hand was raised.

“May I ask a question? Tong Nian asked in a small voice.

Gun’s gaze shifted to the side to look at her. “Say it.”

Tears sprung into everyone’s eyes.

Sister-In-Law was indeed their dearest Sister-In-Law… Instantly saved them in their time of need T.T…

“What’s a reaction time testing software?”

Feeling that explaining this would be too much trouble, Gun arbitrarily found someone from the circle of people. “97, explain.”

“Oh, oh, okay.” 97 straightened his glasses. “It’s actually just something we use to test the speed in which we can react. This specific software is extremely simple, and we just play it for fun, Sister-In-Law. So you open up the software, and then when you hear a ding in your headset, you immediately click your mouse to test how fast you react.”

“Oh…” Tong Nian thought for a moment. “So then, 106, that’s in milliseconds?”

“That’s right, milliseconds.”

1 second = 1000 milliseconds.

201 wasn’t a bad result, ah… She was amazed by this speed.

And then, she recalled Dt’s speed and felt even more that it was inconceivable.

“So, why do you need to listen for a sound? Can’t you change the way you do it? When you guys game, it’s not like you control based on sound?” Over the Lunar New Year period, she had watched many gaming competition videos and knew that, for these types of competitions, there was one thing that was very important: hand-eye reaction speed.

Of course, knowing was one thing… When she actually played, she still sucked T.T…

“Ah…” 97 smiled wryly, “That’s why we normally just use it to fool around on. Don’t know who uploaded it onto a website. It’s just a little software that we all share to torture and compete with one another.”

And while they were at it, it was used by the Demon Overlord to torture everyone…

“Well, then… you can create a software program that only challenges hand-eye reaction speed. For instance, when the program starts up, the entire screen will be green, and then it will gradually change to blue…” She drew up the concept in her mind. “The rules will be, the instant the colour starts to change, you need to click the mouse. Isn’t that an even more direct way to do the testing?”

Everybody froze in terror.

Oh sheet…

Sister-In-Law, what… are you… trying to do…?

Make a tool for Leader to torture us? It sounds so sick and twisted, AAAAH!!!!

On the other hand, this attracted Gun’s attention…

“It exists already.” Dt, who was sitting in a corner, suddenly spoke up. “The Koreans frequently use it. It’s a really small software program.”

“Oh? There is one?” Gun questioned him in reply. “Why haven’t you ever brought it out to show us?”

Bring it out to do what? Torment everyone? Dt did not reply. Calmly, he lowered his eyes and carried on eating his hamburger.

“Well,” Tong Nian continued her mulling, “then we can make an enhanced version. Let’s say, switching between one hundred different colours? Because the time required for one color change is just too short. You can’t really test anything out of that.”

Gun, in contrast to everyone else, felt this was all rather pleasurable. “One hundred? So you’re continuously stimulating and challenging the brain?”

“You fix your eyes intently on the computer screen, and each time the colour changes, you quickly click the mouse. The reaction times are recorded, and an average is taken from the one hundred recorded times. Isn’t that even more fun?” Tong Nian did not know whether he was interested or not.

“Not bad.” Gun tapped his temple lightly with his finger. The more he thought about it, the more it amused him. “It can be given a try.”

“Do you like it?” Immediately, she was thrilled. “Well then, when I go back tonight, I’ll start writing it for you. It’ll be done by tomorrow!”

……

……

NOOOOOO, DOOOOON’T!!!! Sister-In-Law!!!!

Everyone could already imagine this: in the future, when Gun wanted to torment someone, they, the bunch of pitiful, single dudes that they were, would have to sit in front of that brutal little program, staring round-eyed at it and trembling in fear while they incessantly tapped their mice.

And then, there would be all kinds of physical punishment, physical punishment, physical punishment…

“Oh right.” She asked quietly, “Do you need a top scores board? You could refresh it every day on the network. It would be really easy to look at it.”

“Oh?” Gun was increasingly finding this idea to be quite nice. From his chair, he rose and strolled leisurely over until he was beside Tong Nian. Bending at the waist, he set his elbow on her right shoulder. “So clever.”

He’s… praising me?

The warmth that was on her shoulder… instantly burned away all her thinking.

Her whole attention was focused on one point—that spot where his elbow and her shoulder were connected.

Thump, thump, thump…

So close…

Thump, thump, thump…

They were so close to one another…

His eyelashes were so long… So gorgeous…

“Anything else?” He lowered his voice and guided her. “Hmm?”

“……” A rosy red tinge adorned her cheeks, and her eyes involuntarily looked down. Tugging continually at the candy wrapper in her hand, she said, “As long… as you have ideas, we can make a variety of versions. Change it up with some different things, so that all of you… won’t get bored and not have fun anymore …”

Sister-In-Law!!!!

……

……

We don’t freakin’ have fun!!!! We are someone else’s idea of fun that he can toy with, AAAAH!!!!

Every person simultaneously looked toward Dt. Captain!! We’re going to die!!!!

[1] 麻辣烫 “ma la tang.” Literally, this means “numbingly spicy scalding-hot boil.” Its origins are in Sichuan as a hot pot in which various ingredients are cooked by scorching them in a boiling broth. The characteristic flavour and numbing sensation that one feels after consuming the broth is a result of the Sichuan chilies and Sichuan peppercorn that go into making it. Ma la tang has been modified nowadays to become a popular street food. Streetside carts or shops carry a large pot of the boiling broth, and customers can choose various ingredients, often skewered on sticks, to throw in. When it is served as a street food or takeout, the final product of both the broth and the chosen ingredients is dished out into a disposable bowl, which would likely be similar to what some of the K&K team members are having.