His Devious Harbinger: How To Tame A Wicked God?

Chapter 168: I always wanted a fat wife

For the last four days, there's been a crisis in the shrine of the rain god.

It seems that trees, plants, and anything green is growing anywhere at any time, covering the entire shrine. No matter how many times they remove the weed, it would regrow madly. The shrine appears to be a mini-forest to outsiders.

"What happened here?" 

"I am sure that there was a shrine here."

The onlookers keep wondering.

On the fifth day, the priests run away, thinking that the shrine is haunted or it's the wrath of the god.

"Who dares to invade my shrine?" Sitting in the main shrine room, the rain god, as fat as a bear with huge round eyes, dressed in blue silk robes, materializes and roars, "Show yourself!"

"And I was wondering how long it takes to tick off a rain god." The echoing voice is cool, amused, and penetrating. "It takes five days."

"Who?" The rain god storms out of the shrine and looks around, trying to find the boy who had dared to take over the shrine. The vicinity is covered with thick and tall trees with wide green foliages. When the rain god can't find the person, the fat rain god leans against the tree and shouts again. "Show yourself at once."

"Only if you look up." There's a deep sigh. "Why is this god so dumb?"

The fat rain god looks up at the teenager sitting on the branch of the tree. The boy seems to be around 18, long-legged, vivid green hair, and a slight tan on his skin. 

"You!" The fat rain god pants, "You are not a god of this world!"

"Doesn't stop me from messing up your place." Cina jumps down and steps toward the fat rain god. "So, you are the main face of the rain god. This country worships you well."

"Step away!" The clouds cover the sky and the lightning glimmers in the sky. The fat rain god lunges at him in rage.

A short fight ensues. Cina dodges the rain god's attacks until the fat god falls down, unable to get up. Cina sits on the top of the rain god and says,  "I am not here to fight with you. This forest is a gift, actually."

Flustered, the rain god shrieks, "You unruly foreigner! Know your place and get off me!"

"No, I like this seat." Cina hops on the fat rain god's back. "You are soft. I wish you were a woman. I could hug you to sleep."

"You!" The rain god croaks. "Let me off."

"I won't." Cina pinches the rain god's cheeks with a toothy grin on his face. "So soft! What do you eat rain god? Dumplings? You are even better than Ai when he was younger."

Poor rain god has never faced this humiliation before. "I will kill you."

"Only if you can get up." Cina removes the hairpin from rain god's head. "Why is it a butterfly? Did you wear your wife's hairpin?"

"You, bastard!" The rain god's face is round and red. "I am female. Get off me."

"What the hell!" Cina laughs at the rain god. "I won't get fooled again."

"If you are a god, get off me!" Rain god flails her arms up and down. For a while, she's been hiding in this shrine to rest. The shrine gets a good offering. She has gotten carried away by all the offerings and turned fat. Where are her other faces? They are all working somewhere.

"I am a god and I won't get off you." He dangles the piece of paper in front of her face. "Have you seen this seal or not?"

The rain god squints her eyes. "That looks like my seal, but it's not mine. The character is slightly off."

"That's right. Someone is personating you and renting people's house for a shrine." Cina eyes her darkly. "What are you doing while this craziness is happening in the outside world? Eating, sleeping, and repeating?"

"I am famous." The rain god retorts, "How is it my fault that someone tries to personate me? It's people's fault for believing in the fake rain god."

"Is it?" Cina twists her ears, making her yelp. "Then, why did you not react when strange clouds floated to a house and threatened to flood it? Do you have no responsibility, you fool? What about a few days ago? The dark clouds brought countless stray foul spirits. Did you not see them?"

Actually, she didn't. She has been asleep for a while, resting and getting fat. "I was busy!!!"

"You, pig of a god!!!" Cina pinches her cheeks again. "You have to take responsibility now. That fake god kidnapped my little sister. She wasn't anything ordinary -- a child of the primordial dark god. Tell me. What should I do with you? If a  tree god eats a rain god, does that rain god die or become a part of the tree god?"

"Do you think that you can digest me?" The main face of the rain god snaps at Cina, reaching for his face. "I have been chosen as the main face of the rain god. I am the strongest one. I can kill you right now."

"But you are lying beneath me." He grabs her chin and raises her head. "Damn! Your skin is so soft. I am sure that I can chew you easily."

Before she could fight back, he bends down and bites her cheek, digging all his teeth into her flesh. The rain god thrashes on the ground, screaming for help but he doesn't stop. 

"Don't eat me," She cries. Why is she weaker than this god? "What do you want from me?"

"There, you speak my language now." Cina licks his lips. The taste of this god's blood is good. "First of all, you must help us look for the fake god."

"I already plan to find that fake god," She hisses at him as her cheek heals. "What else do you want?"

"Bless my little sister, Misumi." Cina scratches his chin. "She's suffering because her mother and sister are not here. Send people to look for her mother and sister in all the realms. Also, give her a high status in this world. Extra protection shouldn't hurt. Also, nobody should dare to think about harming her."

"Fine!" The rain god clenches her teeth. "Get off me now."

"Ah!" Cina looks at her. "You know, my twin isn't a good cook. You seem like you get good food. Why don't you send some offerings to my place?"

The rain god flares her nostrils. "You want what?"

"Offerings." Cina lays down on the top of her and wraps his arms around her, crushing her. "Damn! You are such a soft god. Your chests are quite fat. How much do you eat every day? I also want to eat that much, and become cute and round like you."

What the hell is wrong with this god? Rain God squirms in his arms. "I will give you anything you want. Don't touch me there."

"Why are you being like this?" Cina squeezes the melons. "Damn! You are a man but these are so big. If you were a woman, I would have married you."

"Bastard! Uncultured! Foreigner!" Rain God's eyes turn red in anger. "I told you that I am a woman."

"And I am also a woman." Cina gives her a look. "I clearly heard that the main face of the rain god is a man."

"That was the previous one." Rain god elbows him hard, pushing him off her. She rolls away quickly and gets on her knees. "I am Amami! I became the main face of the rain god around a hundred years ago. People don't know me because I don't go out much."

"What" Cina blinks his eyes. His gaze falls on her chest. The robes have been loosened due to his squeezing, and he could see the cleavage. His throat turns dry as his fingers tremble. "You are a real woman?"

"Yes." She covers her chest and squints her eyes on him. "You are a disgusting --"

"Ah, let's get married." Cina grins at him. "I always wanted a fat wife I could hug at night."

"..." 

"Your skin is soft enough. I can kiss it all night."

"..."

"Also, Misumi is small now. I should become a man already. I want to start by getting married. Ah! I should wait for Mother to come back." Cina puckers his lips. "I am sure that she will approve of you. Let's go to my home. I will show Rilyah that I am definitely interested in women a perfect woman with curves like you."

The rain god, Amami, doesn't know whether she wants to choke this uncultured swine or bury him under her weight.