Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 49 - Your main job is being a slag man, but your side gig is being a doctor, is that right?!

Edited by Divetus

Jing Huan thought it was quite wonderful.

Before sophomore year, he had never seen Xiang Huaizhi, but ever since they had met in that stairwell, it seemed that they now kept running into each other.

When traveling they bumped into each other, when playing basketball, they would run into each other, and at the library, they again ran into each other.

Thinking of the three cups of milk tea Xiang Huaizhi had treated him to last time, Jing Huan wondered whether he should go to the front desk to buy a coffee to thank him.

He turned to ask and saw Xiang Huaizhi frowning, reading seriously.

Xiang Huaizhi wasn’t reading the contents of the famous book at all.

He was trying to remember—what had he done to be considered “isn’t that great of a person.”

Thinking back and forth, the only thing he could come up with was the thing with Immortal Mengmeng.

Should he make it clear to him in the game, to save himself from constantly having a slag guy reputation in his eyes?

But if he cleared everything up, would this guy be so obsessed with him?

No way.

Thinking of Xiao Tianjing’s amazing remarks in the game, Xiang Huaizhi pursed his lips.

“Senior Xiang?”

Xiang Huaizhi returned to his senses and looked around. “En?”

“Would you like some coffee?” Jing Huan asked, “I’ll get you one on the way?”

“En,” Xiang Huaizhi said, gathering up his thoughts and getting up first, “I’ll go buy it.”

“No, I’ll go…”

Before Jing Huan could finish speaking, Xiang Huaizhi had already set his book down on the table and started to walk out.

Jing Huan: “…”

His cellphone suddenly rang. Jing Huan looked away and opened his cellphone to take a peek.

Lu Wenhao: @Xiao Jing ya Huanhuan, is being by yourself in the library lonely? Otherwise, come find us after finishing studying. I’m just short of an instance operator. [shy]

Xiao Jing ya: Scram, not lonely.

He held up his cell phone, took a picture of the back cover of the book by his hand, and sent it to the group.

Lu Wenhao: ???

Lu Wenhao: You really are seeing a girl behind our back.

Xiao Jing ya: Girl my ass, it’s a guy.

Lu Wenhao: Besides Xiang’er and me, what other guy would accompany you to the library?

Jing Huan laughed. He was just about to reply when he saw Xiang Huaizhi walking over to him with two cups of coffee.

Xiang Huaizhi’s shoulders were broad, and his legs were long: a first-class figure. When he walked, it was like he brought a gust of wind with him. Few girls around didn’t glance at him.

Jing Huan subconsciously turned his mobile phone, directing the camera lens at Xiang Huaizhi. He recorded a three second video and sent it to the group.

Lu Wenhao: Shit, you just slept together, and your relationship is this good?

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Xiao Jing ya: Don’t say it like that, I just happened to run into him.

Of course Xiang Huaizhi knew when he was being recorded.

He put the coffee down on the table. “Hot.”

“Thank you,” Jing Huan said, holding up his cellphone and explaining, “Lu Wenhao asked me who I was with, so I recorded a video for him.”

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at his phone.

Seeing the four words “you just slept together”, he paused and looked away. “En, no problem.”

The two of them spent the afternoon in the library.

It was not until the lights in the library turned on that Jing Huan emerged from the sea of knowledge and struggled to get on the shore.

He sighed and listlessly called out, “Senior.”

Xiang Huaizh responded,: “Have you finished studying?”

“…Sure ba. ”

“Can you pass the exam next week?”

“No.”

“…”

“But I have already tried my best.” Jing Huan closed the book, “Man proposes while god disposes, so we’ll just hope for a good fate ba.”

Xiang Huaizhi smiled.

This underclassman was two different people in reality versus in the game, only his optimism remained the same.

It was already dark outside. The two of them left the library side by side.

“Get some dinner with me?” Xiang Huaizhi’s tone was very natural.

Jing Huan replied, “Okay, but this time it’s my treat.”

“No,” Xiang Huaizhi paused for a bit, “I’m the senior, so I’ll pay.”

Jing Huan laughed, turned around, and said, “If we’re saying that, then since I’m younger, I should pay my respects to you.”

Xiang Huaizhi frowned and wanted to say something else when he was blocked by Jing Huan. “Senior, the important thing about making friends is to give and take. If you always treat me, then next time I’ll be too embarrassed to even eat with you.”

Xiang Huaizhi stared at him for a while before giving up. “Fine.”

They went out to eat home cooking-style food. During the meal, Jing Huan took out his cellphone from time to time to type.

Xiang Huaizhi seemed to be quietly drinking soup, but in fact, the cellphone in his pocket was constantly vibrating.

Having had enough to eat and drink, Jing Huan paid the bill and said, “Senior, next time you go to the library to study, you can call me, and I’ll keep you company.”

Since it’s a library, it’s a quiet scene. Why would he need someone to keep him company?

Xiang Huaizhi internally thought this, but nodded. “Alright.”

“Then Senior, I’ll head back first.” Jing Huan put his mobile phone in his pocket and thought of something as he left. “Wait Senior, can I call you by some other name from now on?”

Senior this, senior that, it wasn’t that easy to say.

Xiang Huaizhi raised his eyebrows. “You can.”

“Then what do I call you?” Jing Huan thought about it. “Huaizhi? Zhi Ge? Huai Ge? ”

Xiang Huaizhi listened quietly, inexplicably feeling that none of these sounded right.

“You can call me Gege.”

“…” Jing Huan was stunned. “Ah?”

Realizing what he had said, Xiang Huaizhi was shocked, but he quickly calmed himself. “I’m older than you. Isn’t it very normal to call me Gege?”

It seemed reasonable.

Jing Huan hesitated and said, “… Gege? ”

The voice wasn’t the same as the one Xiang Huaizhi normally heard, it wasn’t as cutesy or sweet. Jing Huan was obviously a bit embarrassed, his tone both cautious and worried.

But he still thought it was much better sounding than the way he called him in game.

Jing Huan called out and thought it didn’t sound quite right. He blushed and smiled. “Forget it, calling you that way is a bit weird…I’ll just call you Ge ba, or Xiang Ge? ”

Xiang Huaizhi looked down, gathering his emotions : “Whatever you like, let’s go ba.”

—

“Gege!” In his headphones, the girl called out simply, without any hesitation, “Gege, I came late, wuwuwu.”

Xiang Huaizhi clicked, opening the instance list. “It’s okay.”

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: Xiaojing, don’t you not have any classes today, why are you online so late?

After doing instances together so many times, Love is For You to Eat had figured out the schedule of her teammates.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I went to the library to study in the afternoon. Next week, I have an exam QAQ

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: How miserable, pats head [pats dog’s head]

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: [crying]

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: By the way, did you see tomorrow’s update announcement?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I haven’t had time to watch it yet. What’s going on?

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: New clothes are coming out!! Super beautiful!

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: 0.0! Wow, is it limited edition?

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: No, it’s regular clothes… The point is, even though it’s just regular clothes, it’s still more beautiful than other limited editions! The designer will release a limited number tonight [knock on wood]! I sent a picture to the WeChat group. Go look!

Since it wasn’t limited edition, then it didn’t really matter.

Jing Huan took a look at WeChat. It was really pretty, with a cute lantern shape and a weapon pendant that came with it.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: It’s beautiful. How much is it?

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: 1200 gold.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: ???

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: [waves handkerchief]

[Team] Love is For You to Eat: It’s okay ba, it comes with a weapon pendant, so it can count as the price of two pieces of apparel.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: It’s too expensive. Forget it. I’ll buy it later when I have money. [tears]

Buy his ass, Jing Huan cursed from the bottom of his heart.

A stupid apparel costs 1200 yuan?! Why doesn’t the game just rob everyone at this point, but no, they have to quickly try to game the money out of everyone

This matter was soon forgotten by Jing Huan, so when he saw the system message on the next day, he didn’t recover for a long time.

[Unknown Realm shopkeeper: Congratulations, young hero! Yearning For has gifted you a set of “Lantern elf clothes”. Please go to Unknown Realm (118, 29) to collect your new clothes! ]

Jing Huan blinked and read the message over and over again many times.

Yearning For being the gifter wasn’t wrong, and the gift being new clothes also wasn’t wrong…

No way… Yearning For actually sent him apparel?!

Jing Huan was shocked.

The ring could be said to be good for instances, and the gem could be said to be useful for the arena. Then why send apparel?

Jing Huan thought about it in his heart and was overwhelmed with emotions.

After several months, he finally managed to see a glimmer of success!

Jing Huan opened his friend list and found that Yearning For wasn’t online.

He hummed two lines of a song in a good mood, controlled the little fox fairy, and jumped to the Unknown Realm.

Because new apparel had just been released, there were a lot of players around the Unknown Realm shopkeepers, all looking to buy new clothes..

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: It seems that the black looks a bit better. Xianxian, what color are you buying?

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: I bought all the colors [cute]

The game map was so big that it was common to meet acquaintances. Jing Huan went to the crowd, planning to leave after receiving the clothes. However, there were too many players who wanted to buy clothes, so they even had to line up to receive clothes.

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: You bought all seven colors?! You’re so rich QAQ!

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: Haha, Sheepy sent it to me la.

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: Aiyo, he’s so generous. [funny] You should just go ahead and accept him.

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: But I don’t want to date. The current situation now is good.

Although it was only two or three sentences, people could understand their meaning at a glance.

Jing Huan didn’t plan on prying into other people’s privacy, but they were standing right by his side and chatting in the current channel.

He snorted. It seemed these days, you couldn’t be a spare tire without some resources.

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: Whatever you think is good ba. I think he’s much better than a certain someone.

[Current] Immortal Mengmeng: Why are you mentioning that person again [shuts up]

[Current] Ji Xiaonian: Oh, my bad. It’s just that this morning I found that your posts tearing into Ran Xin were reposted by someone, so I reviewed them again and felt sick all morning. [vomit]

Jing Huan paused his action of getting clothes.

He immediately gave up his place in line and opened the forum. Sure enough, the forum home page was full of posts about his Jie.

[Ran Xin is too cruel, she just lives to delete friends. ]

[Illusion server’s other woman Ran Xin has disappeared, all of the players there have noticed ]

[Heard that Ran Xin deleted her account??]

The smile on Jing Huan’s face slowly disappeared.

He checked the posts one by one, and found that the top posts were all from the same ID. The commenters all looked like passing by melon eaters. People were always scrolling through and asking questions at the same time, and someone was always willing to explain what had happened. As this kept happening, the post remained on the front page.

A few months had passed, and the abuse in the comments below the post still hasn’t stopped.

Although he had read all these posts long ago, Jing Huan still felt angry after reading them again.

His eyes gradually became indifferent the more he stared at the abuse and humiliating words on the screen.

After scrolling all the way through, he expressionlessly closed the page and returned to the game.

*

Xiang Huaizhi was stopped just after class.

“You two Ge, play a game and then go back?”

Before he could say a word, Lu Hang, who was beside him, first clapped his shoulder and said, “Sounds good, I haven’t played in a long time. My hands are itching.”

Xiang Huaizhi shook off his hand. “You go, I want to go back to the dorms.”

“Come on, it’s only ten o’clock. What are you going back for?” Lu Hang said, “Let’s go and play half a game.”

“No.” Xiang Huaizhi said firmly, holding his books in one hand, “Leaving now.”

Back at the dormitory, Xiang Huaizhi put his books away and turned on the computer.

Just after logging in, he received a system message.

[Unknown Realm shopkeeper: Your friend Xiao Tianjing has rejected your gift. Please go to the Unknown Realm shopkeeper (118, 29) to get a refund within seven days. ]

He paused, then instinctively opened his friend list and looked at it.

Xiao Tianjing’s name was still lit up, but there was no movement.

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

[Friend] Yearning For: Why didn’t you want the apparel?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: How can I just spend your money?

[Friend] Yearning For: …

There were no emoticons or expressions, and even the question mark seemed to carry a cold air about it.

Was it just his delusion?

Xiang Huaizhi frowned and typed tentatively.

[Friend] Yearning For: Go do instances?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: No.

[Friend] Yearning For: What’s wrong.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

[Friend] Yearning For: Not in a good mood?

Yes, so it’s better not to provoke your daddy right now.

Jing Huan pretended the keyboard was Yearning For, and started typing so hard the keys clacked loudly everywhere.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: No.

[Friend] Yearning For: Then let’s do instances.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: [small smile]… I’m not feeling well and don’t want to do it.

[Friend] Yearning For: Where do you not feel well?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I don’t feel well anywhere.

[Friend] Yearning For: Specifically?

Jing Huan was quickly getting really annoyed with him.

You’re asking so much because you can cure me or what!!

Your main job is being a slag man, but your side gig is being a doctor, is that right ?!

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …my that has arrived

[Friend] Yearning For: Your that?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: My aunt.

Knowing his real gender, Xiang Huaizhi didn’t think about it that way.

[Friend] Yearning For: Your aunt? A relative?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …

Xiang Huaizhi was about to type when he saw a large wave of exclamation marks coming at him.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Period ah! Period! My period has arrived!! Period do you understand! Once a month! Abdominal pain and backache! That kind of bleeding!! Do you understand! Ah?! Would you like me to say more clearly!

Xiang Huaizhi combed through the exclamation points to find the words, and then connected all the words together, and was even more at a loss.

There were so many questions in his mind that thousands of words became a symbol——

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

—

The author has something to say:

The case has been solved. This story is actually a bisexual story. ( nope

It seems that I’m late again, but seeing as how skinny I am from starvation, please pardon me.

—

Juurensha: ….Huanhuan, XHZ is always going to remember this.

Divi: First of all, Huanhuan why’d you have to think of that as an excuse??? Second of all, I’m dying from second hand embarrassment.

Fanart by our lovely editor Divetus!

And Fanart from the scene last chapter by Asami!

And some fanart of Yearning For and XTJ from octa!

And btw, we have a fanart page now!