Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 31 - “Are you happy being a mistress?”

As Qiufeng flew out of the battle scene, a row of yellow words popped up on Jing Huan’s game interface.

【Congratulations on accumulating 2000 points in the arena! I heard that Wu Er Lang has a present for you, go take a look!】

“Gege.” Jing Huan immediately fawned upon him, “I got 2000 points, we won so many points tonight, Gege’s so strong~”

The clock struck 9:30, the arena closed for the day, and all the players were forcibly transported to the entrance of the arena.

Only the leaders could click on the NPCs. Xiang Huaizhi passed her the leader position. “Go and get your reward.”

Jing Huan, “Okay.”

Jing Huan walked over to the NPC as he prayed silently in his heart.

He didn’t wish for an orange equipment, and he wasn’t wishing for a top-grade one either. He just wished for one that buffed healing and speed attributes, and just blue equipment would also be acceptable!

【Are you sure you want to collect your reward? (Bound reward, each character can only receive it once)】

Jing Huan closed his eyes and clicked “Yes”, then opened his eyes a crack–

【Congratulations for obtaining a “Sumian Immortal Robe”.】

…blue equipment, the worst level that could have been obtained.

Jing Huan comforted himself — at least half of his wish had been fulfilled, and it would be fine as long as this blue equipment buffed attributes.

He slowly moved his mouse over the robe.

On the other side, Xiang Huaizhi drank a sip of water as he listened to Lu Hang nag. Lu Hang had lost to Qiufeng once in the arena and was so angry about it that he had been complaining about it for half an hour.

After a dozen or so seconds, he still hadn’t seen the person in his party talk, so he was just about to ask her when–

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: [wails][collapses]

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: GM I [strangles][kitchen knife]

[Current] Yearning For: Un?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: [Item Description·Sumian Immortal Robe]

Xiang Huaizhi clicked on the item description to take a look — an ordinary blue equipment without any buffed attributes, a garbage item.

Jing Huan almost expired on the spot from anger. Only rapidly sending out expressions could express his fury.

Although it was very difficult to get a top-grade item from the arena’s reward for points, there was also a very low chance of getting garbage as well. The system would generally be kind enough to give out equipment that suited the player’s sect.

But why was it this damn thing when it was his turn?!

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: QAQ UWAHH–

[Current] Yearning For: …

[Current] Yearning For: It’s okay, there’ll be another reward at 3000 points.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get a good eq in this lifetime anymore, Gege. [on the verge of tears]

[Current] Yearning For: No, you’ll get one next time.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Really? [on the verge of tears]

[Current] Yearning For: …un.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: But how am I gonna get 3000 points ah!! QAQ uwahh–

[Current] Yearning For: I’m here, you can get it.

[Current] Long Road Ahead: ?

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: T.T will Gege still take me to the arena next time? I’m already this miserable, you can’t lie to me.

[Current] Yearning For: I’m not lying to you. Let’s go do instances.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Okay. [wipes tears][hug]

Everyone who had just finished playing in the arena stared agape as they finished watching this strange conversation.

“Wait, no…” Lu Hang was dumbstruck as well. “Xiang Huaizhi, for the sake of wooing a girl, you don’t even want your son anymore?”

“I’ve already brought you up to the top of the list, still not satisfied?” Xiang Huaizhi didn’t even turn back. “Everyone has to grow up eventually.”

“Fuck.” It wasn’t like Lu Hang had to have Xiang Huaizhi take him along, but he was just curious. “… did you really get together with Xiao Tianjing?”

Xiang Huaizhi, “No.”

“Then why were you guys flirting at the entrance?”

Moreover, if they talked like that in the current channel, one could only imagine what kind of level their private voice messages would be at!

Xiang Huaizhi frowned as he pondered over his words. “It was just consoling her.”

Lu Hang uttered an “oh”. “Then console me a little.”

“Sure.” Xiang Huaizhi said, “When you get to 4,000 points, and the system gives you garbage eq, I’ll console you too.”

Lu Hang pondered for a bit . “That is quite miserable. Honestly, it’s my first time seeing such a garbage arena reward…forget it, let’s go do instances ba.”

The few of them stopped after doing just two instances. They had planned to disband a little earlier tonight to prepare a bit for the guild instance tomorrow.

“Xiangxiang and I have class tomorrow morning, so we’ll probably return around 10.” Lu Hang turned on his mic and said, “Then we’ll gather at 10:10 to discuss how we’ll go about doing the instance, OK?”

[Party] Love is For You to Eat: OK.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: No problem for me either~

After disbanding, Jing Huan lay on his bed and sent Yearning For a goodnight expression.

After that, he slowly began reading through the messages sent out today in the group chat.

His dormitory group chat had already been @-ing him the entire night. He was playing in the arena then and didn’t have time to reply.

Xiao Jing ya: What is it

Gao Zixiang: Where have you been, you only came out after we finished discussing.

Xiao Jing ya: I was busy, what were you guys discussing?

Lu Wenhao:【Shared Link: Paradise on Earth up in the mountains — Shanxi Resort welcomes you.】

Jing Huan opened the link to the website shared by Lu Wenhao — it was a promotion for a resort located on one of the mountains in the city. It would only take one hour to get there by car.

Lu Wenhao: Swimming pool hot spring in its original glory! 50% off lodgings! There’s a five-day holiday next month, let’s go together?

Xiao Jing ya: Not interested.

Lu Wenhao didn’t bother typing anymore and just sent a WeChat voice message over. He focused on convincing him with reason while also trying to move him with emotion; he first talked about how their college life would only last for four years, so if they didn’t go out to have fun now, they wouldn’t have much of a chance to in the future; then he talked about how Gao Zixiang’s parents were out on a work trip, and he wouldn’t have anyone that cared about him if he went home for the holidays and would be just downright miserable, so he insisted on Jing Huan going out with them.

Jing Huan’s head throbbed from listening. Thinking that it was just a trip for a few days, and it wouldn’t be a big deal to not go home, he loosened up. “… okay then, how many days will we be going for?”

“OK!” Worried that he would renege, Lu Wenhao immediately went to the hotel’s website to book their rooms. “Let’s go for three days ba. We’ll book a double room for the three of us to squeeze in?”

Jing Huan refused. “I’ll have a room by myself, so help me book one with a big bed ba.”

He didn’t like squeezing in with others to sleep. Moreover… he had to bring his laptop along, so it wouldn’t be convenient for him to play with other people in the room.

Things were settled like that. Not long after hanging up, Lu Wenhao sent him the booking confirmation text message from the hotel.

It was merely a vacation decided on a whim. Jing Huan glanced at the message, then turned his phone off and went to sleep.

——

The next day, Jing Huan had no classes. He casually cooked a bowl of noodles for breakfast, and after he was done, he sat in front of his laptop.

He had just logged in when he received a friend’s message.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Come to the guild’s YY, 8372xxxx.

Although the game had a built-in voice system, players preferred using another voice software called YY. After all, users could change their voices in YY, create rooms, and even play accompaniment, and it was more convenient than the voice system in the game in all aspects.

Jing Huan took a few minutes to download YY, then input the number and entered the channel.

The YY channel actually had 122 people in it right then.

Jing Huan was stunned. It was a big guild indeed for it to have this many living people online this early in the morning.

“Qiufeng, use one with a durability attribute today ba. This sort of big instance won’t have major battle scenes so it’s no use for you to bring a speed one.” An icon named “Xiao” was talking. The girl’s voice sounded light, and it seemed like she was discussing the instance. “Babe, you online?”

A purple icon named “Regardless” turned on their mic. “I’m online, I’m so sleepy… who’s this ID21934 in the YY? A level 0 new account?”

(the YY icons)

Jing Huan had recognised the two of them based on their IDs.

…both of them really were girls.

After ensuring that his voice changer worked in YY as well, he carefully turned on his mic and asked, “Can you guys hear me?”

“I can hear you.” Qiufeng said, “Xiao Jing?”

“It’s me.” Jing Huan changed his nickname to “Xiao Tianjing”.

Regardless of Lovesickness moved her fingers and gave him a yellow icon. “Morning, are the people from your team here yet?”

It was Jing Huan’s first time speaking so calmly with Regardless of Lovesickness, and it felt kind of strange. “Chichi’s here, I’ll call her over. The rest will be here soon.”

Chunxiao uttered an “un”. “The teams have been allocated, and the instance will start in two hours. If anyone has any questions, ask them now.”

Jing Huan didn’t intend to chat with the rest of the guild. He opened up the marketplace, wanting to see if there were any good and inexpensive equipment that he could pick up as a bargain.

The guild members in YY were idly chatting. Who knows who started it, but the topic of their chat had moved to singing.

“Regardless sings very well, Peachy too, and Xianxian… ai, hasn’t it been awhile since our guild hosted an event?”

“Yeah, I remember when our guild hosted a singing event last time, more than 10,000 people came to our YY!”

“Well of course, our guild’s famous, and the singing really was good.”

“Speaking of which…” Qiufeng paused. “Several girls just joined our guild recently, so shouldn’t they show off their talents once? Xiao Jing?”

Jing Huan suddenly heard his cue and was stunned. “What?”

“The instance hasn’t started yet, so why don’t you sing something for us?” Qiufeng said, “You have such a nice voice, so you must be pretty good at singing too.”

Jing Huan, “I… I don’t know how to sing.”

“How could that be? I’m sure you know how to, don’t be shy.” Qiufeng laughed, “I still have a lot of YY gifts with me.Just sing a bit, and I’ll give them all to you.”

Jing Huan wasn’t interested in the gifts. He bought a voice changer to seduce Yearning For, not to sing to boost his popularity.

He was about to refuse when Qiufeng activated the karaoke mode and even moved him into the mic queue.

【Qiufeng gave Xiao Tianjing Flower x99】

【Regardless of Lovesickness gave Xiao Tianjing Flower x3】

【Peachy Fate gave Xiao Tianjing Flower x11】

…………

Flowers filled the entire screen in an instant.

Jing Huan was baffled, and it wouldn’t be nice of him to leave the mic straight away now.

Qiufeng thought that she was being shy and chuckled. “It’s okay, you can just sing whatever, no one would dare say it doesn’t sound nice…”

“What are you guys doing?” An indifferent voice rang out that interrupted Qiufeng.

Only then did everyone realise that there was a white icon at the bottom of the room with the name ID21935.

Jing Huan recognised Yearning For’s voice in an instant, and as if he had just found his savior, he quickly greeted, “Gege good morning!”

Xiang Huaizhi changed his icon name to “Yearning For” before asking, “Un, are you online?”

“Yeah, I’m afk-ing next to you.”

“Join the party.”

“Coming~”

Qiufeng was speechless for a moment.

Why did he feel like Xiao Tianjing’s voice when chatting with Yearning For was much more coy than when she talked to him…

Regardless of Lovesickness gave Xiang Huaizhi a yellow icon too.

“Every team’s room is ready, it’s at the bottom of the channel.” Chunxiao said, “The name of the room is the name of your leaders. When the instance is about to start, remember to join your rooms to chat, don’t disturb the other teams.”

Right after she spoke, she heard Yearning For say lightly, “Come down.”

Then Yearning For jumped into the room with his name written on it.

Before anyone else could react, they saw Xiao Tianjing jump out of the mic queue at top speed and hurry to Yearning For’s room without even looking back. The total time taken for both of them to leave the room was no more than three seconds.

Seeing the two icons that were stuck so close to each other, Chunxiao said calmly, “Qiufeng, I think you should just forget it ba.”

Peachy Fate: “… +1”

Youth Chasing the Wind: “+2.”

Just be Happy: “+3.”

The chat stopped there, and no one added a +4.

Because while they were talking, a white icon named “Immortal Mengmeng” entered the channel.

The moment Immortal Mengmeng appeared, everyone quieted down, then the guild channel blew up with messages.

[Guild] Peachy Fate: ???

[Guild] Time Passing by like Water: I feel a shred of awkwardness.

[Guild] Love is For You to Eat: …

[Guild] Qiufeng: I’m dizzy.

“Pretty lively.” Immortal Mengmeng saw the main two people in the room at first glance, and her voice was terrifyingly cold, “Regardless, you actually removed me from my YY management position too?”

Regardless of Lovesickness: “You’re the one who quit the guild. Of course only members of our guild can have the management icon in our guild’s YY.”

Immortal Mengmeng: “After quitting the guild, we’re not even friends anymore, is that it?”

“The moment you asked us to continue hunting down Xiao Tianjing and said that you would quit the guild if we didn’t kill her, we stopped being friends.” Chunxiao didn’t leave her any face. After all, when Immortal Mengmeng was blasting megaphones in the past, she never cared about Idle Pavilion’s face either. “Do you have any business with us?”

Immortal Mengmeng sneered. “I can’t come here if I don’t? Half of the activity in this YY channel was brought to you guys by my fans. It shouldn’t be too much for me to come here and afk ba.”

Chunxiao, “Up to you.”

After receiving this reply, Immortal Mengmeng stopped talking and just afk-ed in the channel like that.

The other guild members had been thoroughly frightened by this scene of relationship carnage. Within two minutes, everyone had left and gone into their own YY rooms.

Naturally, Jing Huan had seen Immortal Mengmeng as well.

He found it fortunate that this YY room was locked. White icons couldn’t enter without the password, otherwise, based on how Immortal Mengmeng seemed, she would definitely come in to get into catfight with him.

Just imagining the scenario of him quarrelling with a girl through voice messages made his scalp tingle.

Just as he was thinking about it, he saw Immortal Mengmeng suddenly jump to the room above them.

This scene with the three icons really resembled a cheating couple and the main wife who had come to catch them in the act.

Before Jing Huan had time to react, Immortal Mengmeng’s icon name suddenly changed — Are you happy being a mistress?

“…”

Jing Huan numbly thought, there are so many happy people in this world, why can’t I be one of them too?

The other guild members couldn’t have enough of the melon seeds they were eating while watching this scene and were all engaged in heated discussions in their own rooms.

Peachy Fate: “This is my first time being so close to an 818 scene! It’s so exciting!”

Youth Chasing the Wind: “Will they start fighting?”

Red Apricot: “They won’t ba? The room with Yearning For is locked, Immortal Mengmeng can’t get in.”

【YY Announcement: “Are you happy being a mistress?” has been kicked out of the YY channel by Administrator “Xiao Tianjing”.】

Peachy Fate: “…truly a cruel person.”

Youth Chasing the Wind: “Amazing.”

Red Apricot: “She really dared to kick her…”

A few seconds later, “Are you happy being a mistress?” joined the channel again.

【YY Announcement: “Are you happy being a mistress?” has been kicked out of the YY channel and ID banned from entering the channel for 7 days by Administrator “Yearning For”.】

Peachy Fate: “What the fuck?”

Youth Chasing the Wind: “What the fuck!”

Red Apricot: “What the fuck…”

—

Juurensha: ahahaha, that’s what you get Mengmeng!

—

More fanart~

From @faa on discord:

From @Asami on discord: