Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 25 - Your Xiang Gege

After sending out that message, Jing Huan quickly opened Taobao and searched for a “Venting and Stress Relief Divine Artifact”, ordered one, and confirmed his address — he did all of this in less than a minute.

Was all of that something a human would say?

Fuck his mother.

Life forced me to do this.

Yearning For forced me to do this.

I have no conscience. In order to take revenge on Yearning For, I can do anything.

Those were not my heartfelt words.

Slag men should all die.

Jing Huan muttered all this to himself in his mind several times before he calmed down and continued throwing out praises like a brainless fan.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: So Gege don’t undervalue yourself kay~[holds hands]

Yearning For stood in place for a long time without moving and didn’t say anything either.

Xiang Huaizhi almost laughed at what he had seen. This woman’s ability to lie without blinking had already reached a level where it could really be called a superpower.

And based on what she had just said, the person she should be wooing was Lu Hang instead.

After laughing silently for a while, he tapped on his keyboard: I’m not a slag guy–

He had just placed his finger on the enter key when he suddenly pulled back.

A few seconds later, he pressed the backspace key and deleted what he had just typed.

[Party] Yearning For: Okay.

Okay your ass ah!!!

Jing Huan got up and brewed himself a cup of tea. His mother had insisted on him bringing the tea leaves to school, saying that it was very good for reducing internal heat. He wasn’t very willing to bring it with him at first, but it really has come in handy.

When he returned, he was still in Yearning For’s team, and the two of them had been standing foolishly in place in the main city for half a day without even changing their postures.

They were standing right smack in the middle of a place where most players in the main city set up their stalls, and at that moment, those sellers actually freed up a small space for them and set up their stalls elsewhere. The two of them were very conspicuous as they stood there, as if they were exhibits on display.

And there had even been a moment when Jing Huan had doubted if they would be the male and female protagonists of the next 818 forum post.

Oh no, he would be a female supporting character at most.

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t leave because he was PM-ing Love is For You to Eat.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Actually Xianxian didn’t used to be like that…I’ve known her for several years. Although she’s quite ostentatious, she’s not bad at heart, but after she got to know you…

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: She has already gone offline and isn’t willing to accept our calls. If possible, could you help us contact her?

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: I know she’s the one at fault for this, and I’m not asking you to comfort her, I just wanted to make sure that she’s okay…

[Friend] Yearning For: Not free.

After sending that message, Xiang Huaizhi closed the dialog box.

Then he saw that the little fox beside him had stopped ‘following’ him and was currently circling his avatar.

[Party] Yearning For: Angry?

Jing Huan was stunned. He had sent a lot of expressions that Yearning For didn’t reply to, so he had thought that the other party was afk-ing.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: Ah, what?

[Party] Yearning For: About Immortal Mengmeng.

It was okay before he mentioned it, but after he said that, Jing Huan flared up.

If Yearning For hadn’t rushed over in time just now, he would really have been killed by Immortal Mengmeng, and he would have been killed in front of all the players in the server and the viewers of her stream.

Losing money was trivial, it was mainly about being humiliated.

Jing Huan would usually humour girls, but it didn’t mean that he was a doormat.

If it wasn’t because he had something else to do right now, he would have insisted on making her get rid of her internet addiction.

But in front of Yearning For, he certainly wouldn’t say that.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: How could I fuss over such things with a girl. [cute]

[Party] Yearning For: Aren’t you a girl too?

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: …what I meant was, we’re all female compatriots, so why should women make things difficult for other women? Besides, I’ve never been the type to bear a grudge [touches head]

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: love&peace~

A 7 chi man like him was forced to become a two-faced cute baby.

Sigh.

Life wasn’t easy, Jingjing sighed.

[Party] Yearning For: [little rabbit nods]

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: [surprise] Gege!

[Party] Yearning For: ?

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: You sent me an expression! That’s your first time sending me an expression!!!

[Party] Yearning For: [wipes sweat]

[Party] Yearning For: You haven’t been to the arena lately?

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: I haven’t, I have too many points so I’m always getting matched up with big shots. [tragedy]

Jing Huan thought that Yearning For wanted to take him to the arena again, but who would’ve known that his next sentence would be —

[Party] Yearning For: Un, then all the best.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: …okayyy.

[Party] Yearning For: I’m going to do my dailies. If she initiates a compulsory PK with you again, just call me on WeChat.

[Party] Xiao Tianjing: Okay, will Gege come save me again? [shy]

[Party] Yearning For: I’ll come.

Jing Huan was slightly stunned. He had just wanted to be a little flirty, but he didn’t expect Yearning For to actually agree.

After sending that out, Xiang Huaizhi disbanded the party and flew out of the main city to do his dailies that he hadn’t finished yet.

“What the fuck!!” Someone cursed loudly behind him. Lu Hang asked, “Xiangxiang! Xiao Tianjing was forced into a PK by your ex-girlfriend?!”

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t even turn back. “I don’t have an ex-girlfriend.”

“And you even went to save her…” He didn’t know who Lu Hang was chatting with about what had happened just now. Lu Hang’s eyes widened. “You killed Immortal Mengmeng?! And she even lost an equipment, that’s really unlucky…wait no, why didn’t you call me along for something like this?”

Xiang Huaizhi, “I’m enough alone, why call you? To be a cheerleader?”

“Fuck, that’s not what you said when you took the Fairy Fox Cave to play in the arena.” Lu Hang said, “I’m at least the number one warlock in the server. If I had been present, the three of us would’ve been able to get rid of their entire team! Especially those two assassins — they’re specially trained to kill people, their equipment attributes all focus on damage, so they’re really fragile. After I get their warlocks under control, you just need to stab those two assassins twice, and they’d probably fall to the ground on the spot.”

Xiang Huaizhi, “Cherish your spot as the number one warlock ba.”

Lu Hang was in the middle of fantasising enthusiastically, and after he heard that, he asked, “What do you mean?”

“Qiufeng’s back. His cultivation points seem to only be lower than yours by 20,000?” Xiang Huaizhi slowed his words down, “And he’s only a bit behind in terms of arena points too…”

As soon as Lu Hang heard that, he immediately opened the ranking list to check. “Crap crap crap, no wait, didn’t he go abroad to relax? Why have his cultivation points been on the rise?!”

Xiang Huaizhi, “Their guild has a regular booster with an office. Their office is built right next to Regardless of Lovesickness’ house. Although they can’t PK, they’re really quick at increasing cultivation points.” When Idle Pavilion tried to recruit him a few years ago, they had told him all this.

“Their office is right next door to their guild master’s house? That’s pretty good. If only you had been in Idle Pavilion, at least you wouldn’t be like now where you can’t even find the person you want to settle your debts with…”

Xiang Huaizhi frowned. “Said enough?”

“…OK, I’ll shut up.” Lu Hang made a zipping gesture.

He still had morning classes the next day. After fighting in the arena, Xiang Huaizhi moved his character to Fairyland and got ready to go to bed.

His phone suddenly rang. He picked it up to take a look — Lu Hang had created a WeChat group that only had three people inside.

He looked at the members of the group. “Are you too idle?”

Lu Hang, “Aiya, wouldn’t this be more convenient for us to do instances together in the future?”

The group was completely empty since no one had spoken yet. Xiang Huaizhi tapped on Xiao Tianjing from the member list and looked at her Moments.

This was his first time looking at Xiao Tianjing’s Moments.

Xiao Tianjing’s WeChat profile and Moments background were both pink, which made his vision blur a little. Her Moments only showed content for the past month, and there were only two uploads in her Moments.

【The rain is so heavy, luckily I came back early~[picture]】

It was a photo taken of a window with rain droplets trickling down it; the angle was just right, and it looked very artistic.

The second upload only had a picture and no caption.

Sudoku, filled with pink dolls in every single square.

He didn’t know why, but he always felt that this hue didn’t fit Xiao Tianjing, yet Xiao Tianjing truly was a very coy girl who liked acting cute.

Misperception?

With that in mind, he closed Xiao Tianjing’s Moments and planned to go watch a match when he saw Xiao Tianjing’s WeChat number from the corner of his eye.

Kobe824.

Kobe, no. 8, no.24 jersey?

That junior brother’s figure inexplicably surfaced in his mind; fair and skinny, liked to smile, wore a yellow no.8 jersey.

But would a girl like Xiao Tianjing actually like basketball and Kobe?

That idea only survived in his mind for three seconds before it was quickly erased by him.

Just thinking about it, it was completely impossible. It should just be a coincidence.

——

After classes ended that day, Jing Huan, Lu Wenhao, and the others went out to eat. They went to a restaurant that sold northeast cuisine. Lu Wenhao was from the northeast, and he liked eating stewed food.

“Ai, if only we still had our pot. I kinda want to eat coconut chicken soup.” Gao Zixiang propped his chin on his hand. “After I graduate, I must open up a stall near the school to sell coconut chicken, it’ll definitely flourish!”

“Only you’re used to eating something like that.” Lu Wenhao said.

“Bullshit, Huanhuan likes it too.” Gao Zixiang retorted.

Speaking of this, Lu Wenhao recalled something. “Oh right Huanhuan, what did you mean by that? Why did you steal my photo?”

When it rained a few days ago, he took a picture of his window and uploaded it to his Moments. Just when he was happily checking to see how many people had liked it, he was struck dumb when he refreshed — Jing Huan had stolen his photo and had even added a row of text to it by himself.

“…and you even used a tilde, isn’t that too girly?”

Jing Huan, “I don’t take photos as well as you do.”

Despite Lu Wenhao being a burly northeast guy, he was really fastidious when it came to taking photos. He often knelt down on both knees just to find a good angle. “Also, how are tildes girly? When you chatted with your ex-boyfriend, didn’t you often use tildes?”

“…if you had just stolen my photo, then so be it, but now you’re also attacking me?” Lu Wenhao felt hurt.

“Borrowing it temporarily, I’ll delete it after I’m done using it.” Jing Huan jerked his chin at the dishes. “Aren’t I treating you to a meal as thanks?”

Lu Wenhao waved his little fat hand, “Lady boss! Menu please! We’d like to order more!”

Jing Huan laughed, and his gaze shifted to Gao Zixiang. “What are you doing? You keep looking at your phone while eating.”

Gao Zixiang sighed. “They’re allocating people to groups for the guild instance in our group chat. There are so many people in the guild that there are quite a few who have some private enmities, so it’s not easy to divide the guild into groups. They’ve been quarrelling for half the day.”

Jing Huan drank a sip of water. “Guild instance?”

“Yeah.” Gao Zixiang didn’t even look up. “Oh, you don’t know yet. The NCH official website released the maintenance content for next week today, and they’re launching several new guild instances. There’s a 5-man instance and a 20-man instance, and we can only do them with our guild members. They give out a lot of experience, and the rewards aren’t bad either. Most importantly, they will even drop forging materials, so it can be considered the second channel for obtaining forging materials.”

Jing Huan lacked forging materials the most, so he was elated when he first heard the news, then he immediately wilted — he didn’t have a guild.

And for his Xiao Tianjing character, don’t mention joining any guilds, it would be enough if he just didn’t get hunted down.

He was trying to think of a plan when his phone suddenly rang — it was the three-person group chat.

Xiao Lu Xiao Lu never get lost: @Xiao Jing ya Jingjing when will you be back today?

Xiao Jing ya: Ah, soon, I’ll go back right after eating.

Xiao Jing ya: Why? In a hurry to do instances?

Xiao Lu Xiao Lu never get lost: No, just asking, there’s no hurry. I’m still reading the official introduction of guild instances, take your time to eat ah.

Xiao Jing ya: [nods obediently]

Xiao Jing ya: Are there any guild requirements for this new instance? I want to find a guild to do them with too. [wipes tears]

Xiao Lu Xiao Lu never get lost: What are you saying, you’ll be with us ah.

Xiao Jing ya: Ah?

Xiao Jing ya: I’m too noob, I’ll drag you guys down ba…Xiang Gege’s willing to bring me?

Xiao Lu Xiao Lu never get lost: Your Xiang Gege

Xiao Lu Xiao Lu never get lost: [picture]

Jing Huan tapped on the picture.

【[Megaphone] Yearning For: Looking for a guild to do guild instances with, no requirements except that the guild must be at the max level, three people, sects are Mount Qiya, Warlock, Fairy Fox Cave. The three of us are a team, we won’t be separated, PM me if there are openings.】

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Juurensha: XHZ you’re getting so close!

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Checkout this cuteeeee fanart of Huanhuan & his Xiao Tianjing by @Asami on discord!