Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Chapter 22 - Slag guy, you’re heartless.

Immortal Mengmeng was still extremely unresigned.

She had stayed in this server for five years, and she had also paid close attention to Yearning For for five years. He had been at the top ever since the server was launched, and his name was always at the top of every single major ranking list, far out of reach.

What girl hasn’t fantasized about being with a brilliant man before?

So when that little bit of tenderness leaked out from Yearning For, she couldn’t resist it at all. She closed her eyes and charged forward.

When she met Yearning For offline, and the other party’s appearance wasn’t to her liking and had even kind of disgusted her, she was still willing to pay for him. Before they parted, she lay in that man’s embrace and insisted for him to marry her when they returned.

Sometimes, Immortal Mengmeng couldn’t even figure out if she really liked the person behind Yearning For’s account, or this virtual game character.

What she hadn’t expected was that right after they parted ways, she hadn’t even gotten off the plane when her WeChat was blacklisted by the other party. She went to confront Yearning For in the game, and the other party told her coldly that the one playing his account for the past few months was a booster, not him.

The time they spent together day and night for months had turned into a joke. Yearning For wouldn’t marry her and wouldn’t even appear in the same party as her.

What she couldn’t bear the most was that there were other women beside Yearning For: first it was Ran Xin, then it was Xiao Tianjing. That little fairy fox would follow behind Yearning For’s ass all the time. They played in the arena together, did instances together, and Yearning For even gave her purple equipment…

She took a deep breath and typed.

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: Of course I’m awake, let me finish.

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: We’ll just get married in game, not actually get together. I just want a couple title.

“I’m realizing that this woman is really strange. If it was someone else who had been deceived, then shouldn’t their first reaction be to look for the swindler? Why does she keep pestering you?” Lu Hang was speechless. “Besides, your account was clearly fishy in the past few months ba? If you casually blast a megaphone now to clarify it, I’m sure everyone in the server will believe you.”

This was the truth. Xiang Huaizhi had been playing in this server for so long, and the impressions other players had of him were only: strong, low-key, and rich. Aside from collecting items, Yearning For’s character hardly appeared in World Channels and megaphones.

When that matter had just happened, there were a lot of friends who came to ask him if his account had been stolen.

Xiang Huaizhi declined to comment and instead kept silent, resulting in substantiating his reputation as a slag guy.

Xiang Huaizhi, “There’s no need.”

Letting the entire server know that Immortal Mengmeng and another girl had been deceived by a booster wasn’t appropriate.

Also, it wasn’t like this matter would have any negative repercussions for him. At the very least nothing bad had happened up until now. He had even saved a lot of trouble because of this.

There wasn’t anything bad about it.

[Friend] Yearning For: The compensation I talked about was paying you back for the airfare and hotel that you had paid for.

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: I only want a title, can’t I even get that?

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: Which city are you in? Let’s meet up and talk about it, can we?

Lu Hang was shocked. “This woman’s mad right? You guys have only talked a little bit, and yet she’s actually asking for a meet up?”

[Friend] Yearning For: If you don’t need compensation for all that, then we don’t need to talk anymore.

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: Okay, then I want some other form of compensation. A game prop, OK?

[Friend] Yearning For: Keep talking.

[Friend] Immortal Mengmeng: I want a Nine Brahman Lotus Flower, the one you gave Xiao Tianjing.

Xiang Huaizhi merely cast a glance at this request before closing the dialog box.

Lu Hang, “Hei, this is interesting. Is she insisting on breaking you and Xiao Tianjing up? I, Long Road Ahead, will be the first to object! Xiangxiang, I don’t think you should give her the money for the hotel and airfare either, just delete her ASAP and let it be.”

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at him askance. “You seem to like Xiao Tianjing a lot?”

“Not really, I just think she’s pretty amusing. I can laugh myself to death just listening to her talk every day.” Lu Hang said.

Xiang Huaizhi nodded. “Then you woo her and get her to talk to you every day.”

“Okay. When she comes online, ask her to woo me. She’ll definitely listen to you. By then, I guarantee that I’ll take care of her like a good Gege.”

“Get lost, be a little more serious.” Xiang Huaizhi glanced at him. “How long do you want to stand behind me for? Addicted to snooping on my screen?”

“Tch…okay, okay, okay, I’ll leave.”

Xiang Huaizhi got on a horse and went to a wild map to get materials. With a casual glance, he saw a system prompt.

【Your friend Xiao Tianjing is online.】

A few seconds later, his friend message lit up.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: [throws flowers]

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Gege, are you doing instances today?

[Friend] Yearning For: Un, after finishing my dailies.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Okay Gege, call for me when you’re done, I’m available at any time #^0^#

Dailies were finished very quickly. Lu Hang created a daily instance party.

“Xiao Jingjing,” After entering the instance, Lu Hang saw the clothes on her character and couldn’t help turning on his mic to diss it, “Change your clothes ba.”

Jing Huan asked, “Whyyy?”

“It’s too ugly.”

Jing Huan frowned, not seeing what part of it was ugly. “This isn’t ugly though? It goes especially well with the ring Gege gave me!”

Lu Hang, “Tsktsk, speaking of the ring, just now…”

Xiang Huaizhi interrupted him. He got out of the car and created a party. “I’ll go get the magic treasure soon.”

“Okay,” Lu Hang tactfully shut up. “Xiao Jingjing, go with him?”

There was one part of this instance that required two people to pick up the magic treasure together. It wasn’t difficult and didn’t require any fighting.

Before Lu Hang finished speaking, Jing Huan had already left the party at top speed and got into Xiang Huaizhi’s car. The two of them walked out of the scene with one in front of the other.

“Gege.” Jing Huan uploaded the ring onto the party channel as if he was presenting a treasure. “Quick, look, I’ve upgraded the gem on the ring to a level 7 one!”

Xiang Huaizhi clicked on it to check, and sure enough, it was true.

A level 7 gem costs hundreds of gold. He hesitated a little, “You don’t play PVP, so you don’t need to upgrade the gem to such a high level.”

“It’s not that high~ I promised you before that I’ll upgrade it to level 15.”

Level 15 gems were even more expensive. Xiang Huaizhi said, “I didn’t ask you to upgrade the gem to such a high level. It’s your item, you can give it as many gems as you want.”

After saying that, he asked, “Do you still have money to eat after adding gems?”

Jing Huan was just about to answer when he was suddenly stunned — hold on, why would he have no money to eat?

After lying so much, he couldn’t react for a moment. He only deliberated for a moment and tried sounding it out, “…ah?”

“You’re a student, right.” Xiang Huaizhi said, “Didn’t you say that you only get 200 yuan a week for your allowance?”

Jing Huan subconsciously bit his thumb.

…in what year and what month did he make up that story?

Fearing that the other party might get suspicious, he coughed softly. “That, that is the case…Gege how did you know?”

“You said it before when you were being hunted down.” Xiang Huaizhi said, “You’re in high school?”

Jing Huan only remembered after half a day had passed — he had casually made up that lie when he was being pursued by Vigorous LIttle Mosquito Repellent in order to attract Yearning For’s attention.

…what kind of brain does this person have? He still remembered something like that after so long?”

“No, I’m in college.”

Just based on the timing of when he plays the game, it was difficult for him to make himself seem a bit younger. The cogs in Jing Huan’s head started spinning rapidly, and he had made up a perfect story without any flaw in about ten seconds.

He sniffed and started weeping, “Gege, it’s like this, actually my parents divorced long ago, and they both have their new families and children now. To them, I’m just a superfluous existence… I fought with them last month and never looked to them for money again. In addition to how I used up all my savings to buy this account, I can only survive now by relying on working part-time jobs, and because I’m still in school, I don’t get paid a lot, and after deducting expenses for food, clothes, lodging, and travelling, I can only squeeze out 200 yuan a week…”

Jing Huan himself couldn’t bear to go on.

Oh my God, I’m too pitiful ba?! Anyone who hears this will feel sad, and anyone who sees it will shed tears.

Such a pitiful and helpless young girl, what man couldn’t bear to show concern and care for her!!

Sure enough, the other side fell silent after listening to him.

Jing Huan forced himself to laugh. “It’s okay Gege, you don’t need to worry about me, I’ll definitely work very hard and create a new and better life for myself with my own hands…also, the boss at my part-time job treats me very well and often gives me instant noodles…”

“What you’re doing isn’t right.”

“And sometimes gives me hotdogs too…un?” Jing Huan was stunned.

“You’re clearly in such a tight spot already, yet you still spent tens of thousands of yuan on a game. Your internet addiction is too serious.” Xiang Huaizhi said unfeelingly.

Jing Huan was speechless. “I…”

“If you really want to make a name for yourself, you should spend more time reading books instead of playing games.” Xiang Huaizhi pondered for a bit. “Playing games for 3 hours a day is enough.”

“No, but…”

“Three hours is enough for you to do your dailies and instances.”

“…”

“From 7pm to 10pm?”

Slag guy, you’re heartless.

“It…it’s not like I must create a new and better life.” Jing Huan forced himself to continue smiling and enunciated, “Living each day happily is more than enough for me to be content.”

After handing in the magic treasure, they returned to the party and began fighting the BOSS.

Their battle had just started when a megaphone popped up.

【[Megaphone] Immortal Mengmeng: Looking for a guild. I’m a Mount Putuo, maxed out cultivation skill points, my game play is okay, guilds that can give me a management position PM me.】

Jing Huan was stunned. If he remembered correctly, Immortal Mengmeng should be part of Idle Pavilion, right?

He right-clicked on the other party to see her information and realised that the guild section was empty.

[Party] Long Road Ahead: Chichi, why did that little sister of yours quit the guild?

[Party] Love is For You to Eat: Don’t know, maybe cause Regardless removed her from being an officer?

[Party] Long Road Ahead: Amazing. Actually, I’ve always been curious, although Regardless of Lovesickness has always been rather wilful, Chunxiao is quite reasonable, so why would they let Immortal Mengmeng be an officer?”

Because Immortal Mengmeng had told Regardless of Lovesickness that she wanted to recruit Yearning For into the guild, so she needed to be in a position that could recruit people.

Yearning For had both strength and fame, what guild wouldn’t hope for him to join them? Even Idle Pavilion was still willing to invite him in on a palanquin with eight carriers even after the slag man incident.

This wasn’t a secret, but with the person in question here in the party, it wasn’t convenient for Love is For You to Eat to disclose it.

[Party] Love is For You to Eat: I’m not very clear about that [shuts up]

Immortal Mengmeng was a female streamer. Tens of thousands of viewers flocked to her stream every day. Although there were quite a lot of bots, she did have some fame. With this megaphone of hers, the World Channel immediately started to bustle with excitement.

[World] Love Eating Lobster: Why did Xianxian quit her guild? Isn’t Idle Pavilion pretty good?

[World] Dancing Fallen Petals: I heard that Xianxian was removed from her officer position [surprise]

[World] Give you a Ten-Mile Marriage Procession: Xianxian come to my guild, I’ll let you be the vice guild master, +++

【[Megaphone] Immortal Mengmeng: Don’t ask me about why anymore, I don’t want to mention it again, it’ll make me look really stupid. I can only say that people who walk different paths can’t make plans together, so let’s just both be well ba. I want a guild ranked in the top 15 for this server, the rest need not M me, thanks.】

It was nothing at first, but after Immortal Mengmeng said that, she really made it seem like she had been bullied.

Jing Huan looked at her megaphones, and his gaze darkened slightly.

In the beginning, Immortal Mengmeng relied on this bit of her popularity and forced his Jie to quit the game through cyber bullying. Although he had destroyed an equipment of hers already, he didn’t feel like his anger had been fully vented.

He shifted his gaze, and just as he was about to throw a blood pool at Yearning For, he saw a message pop up on the screen.

【Qiufeng has added you as a friend.】

[Friend] Qiufeng: Are you there?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

[Friend] Qiufeng: I heard about everything. I found you because I wanted to apologise.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …ha?

[Friend] Qiufeng: I’m really sorry for causing you to get hunted down. I haven’t been able to come online these past few days because I had something else going on, otherwise I would have stopped this farce.

Jing Huan seeed to sense something and clicked on the other party’s information to take a look.

Qiufeng, Warlock, title was “Idle Pavilion White Tiger Officer”.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: You are…

[Friend] Qiufeng: Oh right, I forgot to introduce myself. Hello, I’m your account’s ex-husband, the unlucky guy whose account got cleaned out.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …………hello, I’m the unlucky person who was scolded and hunted down for buying your ex-wife’s account.

—

Juurensha: Ughhh Immortal Mengmeng is pretty annoying…but this Qiufeng seems cool! And Huanhuan, you have to keep track of your lies if you’re going to catfish Yearning For!