Getting Warhammered [WH 40k Fanfic]

As I comfortingly ran my hand up and down on Selene's back, I felt her try to pull away from me once her aura calmed down. I gave her a final squeeze before I stepped back to let her recollect herself.

 

"Thanks," said Selene without looking at me. She sighed and shook her head. "Sorry."

 

"It's alright," I smiled at her, keeping the sigh of relief out of my voice. Not feeling like worms were crawling under my skin anymore was exhilarating. Though even if my tendrils are doing just that, it's never been this uncomfortable. "It's the least I could, and you've done the same for me."

 

"You didn't just turn into a ticking bomb then." Her lips curled down self-deprecatingly.

 

"Self-induced misery doesn't suit you," I poked her in the forehead.

 

"It's not self-induced," she glared at me as she slapped my hand away.

 

"But it is," I nodded, "we are in the Webway, demons can hardly reach you here so there is no place better than this to get a handle on your powers and with both me and this kni- *cough* Val here it shouldn't be too hard to manage," I looked into her eyes, "have some confidence in yourself... or in me if you can't manage that."

 

"Alright," she shook her head weakly, "I'll try."

 

"Do not try," Valenith interrupted, having observed our interactions until now silently, "to control your powers you cannot even acknowledge the possibility of failure, doubt is a seed that grows into weakness with time, and weakness is what the horrors of the Warp latch onto."

 

"What he said," I nodded, "by the way, how far should that gate be from here?"

 

"I suspect these Orcs used the temple surrounding it as their base," said Val, as his hand rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "We should reach it in an hour or five based on the bends we take."

 

"Is there any use in taking a detour?"

 

"Not that I know of," he shrugged, "Especially with the occupants most likely gone."

 

"Well, stay there for a bit then and help Selene get used to being a Psyker," I nodded. "Any objections?"

 

"Negative." Zedev's voice came devoid of emotion. He disregarded our conversation until now in favor of dissecting a handful of Orcs.

 

"Wasn't I supposed to just guide you there?" Valenith asked with a raised eyebrow, but I sensed no reluctance from him.

 

"You wanted to stay with us anyway, didn't you?"

 

"I might have," he shrugged.

 

"Well then," I eyed him carefully, "you are welcome. You can continue to bask in my presence for a bit longer."

 

"Much appreciated." the edge of his mouth twitched as sarcasm leaked into his tone.

 

"With that done," I clapped, "I'll be right back. Let me see what the fuck that fungus used to mess me up this badly."

 

"It's most likely a-" Val started, but I cut him off, "Yeah, I know."

 

I left the sulking Eldar and the brooding Selene behind with the distracted Magos as I flickered over to where the few remaining pieces of the Orc Boss littered the ground. That reflexive blast might have been a bit much for him. There are barely some bone shards and blood remaining but oh well.

 

As an afterthought, I sent out a swarm of flies to collect the genetic sample of a bunch of orks and collect some juicy bio-energy. My eldritch powers had limits, but I could work around them.

 

One was that I could only absorb new biomass with my 'true' body, — the eldritch twisty tendrily one — but if I just stuffed a tiny tendril into a fly drone, then it could go around, gobble up biomass for me and fly its tiny ass back to me loaded with bio-energy. This made it so I didn't have to walk around and eat everything while looking like some knock-off vampire or Flesh Tearer.

 

Bio-energy was another curious thing with a few rules behind it. It was both the sustenance for my True Body and the fuel for most of its powers. Whether I wanted to shapeshift, regenerate or anything like that, it'd consume bio-energy, but that didn't mean only my True body could use it. Bio-energy was closest to what people called Vitality in many fantasy books I've read, if you had a lot of it in your body it'd keep you alive longer, help you heal faster, reach your body's limits and maybe reach beyond it or even regenerate from otherwise incurable wounds.

 

That was for people who couldn't bend it to their will. I could make it do all those things, be it inside myself or in others. I could, for example, fill Selene up with enough of it to keep her body in top condition for the next millennia. Not that I have enough of it at the moment to do that, and there are easier ways to extend her lifespan too.

 

It was a powerful toolkit. A very powerful one, not to say versatile, but it had rules and limits. For example, bio-energy had to have something organic to anchor to. You couldn't store it in a piece of metal, but you could in a single flower petal. It wouldn't be much, but you could store some in it. Nevertheless, it had rules. We will see whether I can bend or break them in the future.

 

Sustenance. That was the main part, though. Even in a basic human form, my body used up enough vitality to sustain a thousand humans. And now I've been deprived of all the bio-energy I had in my previous body.

 

 

My vision phased and the sight of my Soul Puddle came into view, interlaced over my real vision. My eyes flickered over the white ball orbiting my soul, brimming with enough bio-energy to sustain me for a good few centuries, at least at maximum combat capability. It was almost a whole bio-ship's worth of energy, after all, from one of the most biologically advanced species in this universe.

 

 

[Non-combat operation time of 'Form: Psyker' estimated at: 7days.]

…

[Non-combat operation time of 'Form: Psyker' estimated at: 41days … please wait for the energy collection to complete.]

 

I watched the number trickle up for a bit longer as the tiny flies zipped to and from the corpses, melding into my body and loading their energy into my gapingly empty stores.

 

The dumb interface my Mind-Cores came to use to communicate with me put a smile on my face. It will have to change sadly. They were trying to alert me really damned hard that a dumb Ork was trying to snipe me but I didn't notice the alerts.

 

I was somewhat paranoid about developing several personalities or splitting my mind into separate parts with my Mind-Cores so I had them under rather strict regulations, the simplest of which deprived them all of emotion and had them be entirely static without my say-so, they were basically organic computers. This interface was supposed to be a buffer between me and them, but my paranoia seemed to have backfired.

 

 

With that done, I returned my attention to reality and my prospective new toy.

 

Glancing around, I scanned the hallway. The walls seemed to be made of several layers of simple stone bricks. I noted as I saw three layers' worth of bricks collapsed onto the ground into piles. I tapped into my aura for a moment, letting my subconscious understanding of my surroundings flow into my conscious mind.

 

My eyes snapped open, and my head turned towards one of the piles of debris. My eyes couldn't see it, but I knew a glimmering metal weapon hid under it with flashes of sick green energy flowing through it. This aura-sensing thingy I had was for, from an accurate sense, I could only tell that these two colors were wrapped around each other in the shape of a tube and that they contrasted the dull grey of the stone bricks.

 

I stepped back and carefully grabbed hold of smaller piles of bricks with Telekinesis and got started on uncovering that weapon. Hopefully from this far I'd have enough time to protect myself if it was somehow damaged and decided to blow up in my face. You never knew.

 

I threw tonnes of stone aside when finally my eyes caught the glimmer of metal. My eyes brightened as I ever so slowly freed the weapon of its confines and levitated it into the air. I held it a good ten meters away from me as I scanned it for any visible defect or sign of imminent explosion, but to my delight; it looked as good as if it just rolled out of a factory. Living metal. Did it heal itself, or was it just that resistant to damage?

 

With a bit of trepidation, I wrapped two layers of psychic shields onto my skin in films and then I walked up to the floating weapon. To be honest, it was rather crude for what was the main infantry weapon of the most technologically advanced species in the galaxy, but who was I to judge? It had a simple metal handle that visibly didn't bother to conform to the palm of an organic being and was instead shaped like a brick. From it extended a tube that connected the main part of the gun to the transparent green barrel extending out from it, supposedly transporting ammunition maybe?

 

The green barrel ended in a dull metal ring from which extended an... axe, for whatever reason, and even from the ring, four spikes extended forward like viscous claws with no visible function aside from stabbing them into something that came too close. If anything wasn't a pile of carbon, by the time they came close to anyone wielding their weapons, an axe or some spikes won't do much to stop them.

 

I shrugged. Whatever, it looked sorta cool, which was probably the reason it existed. Weird fucking galaxy.

 

I carefully wrapped my fingers around the handle and held the metal running under the barrel with the other as I felt a smile form on my lips. I held the weapon at the ready and pointed it toward a pile of bricks. With giddiness bubbling in my stomach, I pulled the trigger.

 

The weapon trembled in my hands as energy flew through the tube and before I knew it, a green beam of un-life shot out of the weapon and turned the bricks lying helplessly in its way into atomized ash.

 

 

I shot of another few beams, observing how much matter got disintegrated by a single shot. It fluctuated a bit. Sometimes the created crater in the wall would be 1 meter across and sometimes two, but when I turned the weapon on an Ork, it only obliterated a third of its body.

 

 

I turned around and saw my three companions watching me with varying expressions standing less than twenty meters behind me. I coughed in embarrassment as their gazes bore into me. My Mind-Cores helpfully reported that they'd been doing that for the last ten minutes, ever since I extracted the weapon from the pile.

 

"Are you ready to continue, then?" I asked as I hung my new toy on my waist, a single tendril wrapping around it to hold it against my thigh even as I moved.

 

 

"Yes."

 

"Yes..."

 

"Great," I clapped, "Val, if you'd lead the way."

 

He strode forward with his chin held obnoxiously high. I just shrugged and stepped up behind him, with Selene falling into step next to me. I heard Zedev's arachnoid feet clink on the floor behind me too. Did he get bored with Val?

 

"You're more interested in my new toy than the Eldar?"

 

 

"I think many Imperial Assassins have Necron weaponry in their arsenal," I shrugged. "A phase sword is quite a tool."

 

 

"Not quite, but close enough, I guess."

 

 

"Power Weapons disrupt molecular cohesion and use the weapon itself to break them, but this one breaks down Molecules by itself and leaves behind nothing but their constituent atoms."

 

Zedev released an inhuman shrill, which I think he intended to be a 'Humm'-ing sound. I grimaced at it. With my ears being much better than a human's, him making sounds like nails on a chalkboard is far from appreciated.

 

"So what is that thing?" Selene spoke up as she glanced between the toy on my thigh and my face. Why is your gaze wandering, though? I don't think I attached it to my ass, Selene.

 

"A Gauss Flayer," I patted the weapon, "this is the primary infantry weapon of the Necrons like the Lasgun is for your Imperium."

 

Zedev stilled for the briefest moment at me saying 'Your Imperium' but he quickly recovered, I wondered what I'd have to do to make him confront me about it, it was getting tedious to worry about him backstabbing me the moment we got out of the Webway and reached Imperial territory.

 

"And that thing nearly killed you?" Selene was dubious from the look she was giving me.

 

"Yep," I nodded cheerfully. I had a fancy sci-fi toy after all. "It's not much of a surprise, really. Do you know what rock-paper-scissors is?"

 

"No," Selene raised an eyebrow.

 

"Well, it's a simple children's game in some parts of the galaxy," I shrugged, spewing bullshit as naturally as I breathed, "the essence of it is this: Rock beats Scissors but loses to Paper, Paper beats Rock but loses to Scissors and Scissors loses to Rock but beats Paper."

 

"And?"

 

"Well," I just shook my two fists thrice and made a rock with my left and a piece of paper with my right, "my left hand is a rock and the right is paper," I wrapped my right hand around my closed left fist, "So the paper wins, but whatever, what I meant to say is," I sighed as I stopped with my overly confusing metaphor, "While I can fuck Tyranids in the ass with little effort the Necrons can do the same to me if I'm not careful."

 

"How does care save you against that?" she raised an eyebrow.

 

"It doesn't penetrate, and the beam doesn't destroy matter fast enough to be a problem if I can put something between me and it."

 

"It seemed instant from my perspective, though."

 

"Because you are a human Selene," I patted her shoulder, "I'm sure if Zedev jacked himself up on some drugs he has stored in canisters in his body he would have seen the beam creep closer and closer to its target before it hit it."

 

"How could it hit you, then?"

 

"Do you want the simple or the complicated answer?"

 

"Ummm, Simple first?"

 

"I was a moron," I shrugged. "If it hit you, you'd have survived. Do you know why?"

 

"The Armor...." she blinked, "why weren't you wearing armor?!" she glared at me.

 

"As I said," I smiled at her adorable glare, "I was a moron. I didn't think they had anything that could do more than scratch me."

 

After a few seconds of continued glaring, she shook her head and sighed, maybe noticing that I was looking at her with a slowly growing smile.

 

"What are 'Necrons' anyway?"

 

"Oh," I blinked, "right. I assumed you knew based on how well-informed you were about other existential threats to the Imperium. Didn't you mention Necron Crown Words before?"

 

"I only know the tidbits I managed to gather from my grandmother's journals," she shook her head, "I only met Eldars and the Tau personally, and well, I heard Necron Crown Worlds are some of the most dangerous places in the galaxy and that some are even populated by humans but not much else."

 

"Well," I rolled the world around my tongue, "you were quite lucky then." I gave her a smile. "You met the two species that are not deplorable assholes in this wide galaxy of ours."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"There is a reason you Imperium say that every Xenos is evil and needs to die on the spot," I shrugged, "which is that they are right in doing so more often than not, there are more than a few species that have no right to exist."

 

"Would you consider yourself to be among them?" Zedev's voice was emotionless and echoed through the hallway.

 

I tilted my head as I threw a glance at him over my shoulder; he wasn't readying any weapons and was staring back at me inquisitively.

 

"Depends," I shrugged, "Am I a danger to the Imperium? Hell Yes. Am I as bad as some of the others? Far from it."

 

 

"Have you heard of the Khrave? The Slaugth? The Hrud?" I asked, and I noticed both Selen and Valenith hanging onto my every word.

 

 

"Oh, come on," I shook my head, "Selene?" I looked at her, "The Slaught are the source of many legends in the galaxy. Never heard of them? Lanky men covered in decrepit robes with their whole bodies made up of maggots. Their entire existence is only made valid by all the malice they manage to spread?"

 

Her eyes widened, and I knew she heard of them.

 

"The Maggot Men," she whispered, "my grandmother's journals spoke of them, but she didn't believe the tales of their existence to be real."

 

"Many don't," I shrugged, "As for the Hrud, I am not surprised, they were exterminated during the Great Crusade along with the last Old One they worshipped as a God."

 

"Impossible," Val stumbled, "the Old Ones died sixty million years ago."

 

"Not all of them," I shrugged. "The Hrud were masters of time sorcery. Even Space Marines succumbed to their age under their spells and collapsed into piles of dust."

 

 

"Of course, you haven't," I smiled, a cold smile filled with anticipation, "After all, the one who exterminated them now serves the 'Great Enemy' even if he was born a Primarch."

 

"So no," I stared into Zedev's eyes, "Just the fact that I can be reasoned with, negotiated with makes me miles above 90% of the species and subjectively above humanity too, your kind only negotiates when you can't kill your enemy like the bloodthirsty xenophobic little cunts you are."

 

Zedev fell silent: I saw emotions rush past his suppressors, but he stayed silent and still while Selene gulped at my rather severe tone.

 

"At least there are some good ones among you," I glanced at her, showing her a gentle smile, "Which is the only reason I bothered integrating myself into your little group."

 

Selene was truly a diamond in the rough. Whatever her childhood was like kept her open-minded and clear of the rampant zealotry and xenophobia of the Imperium.

 

On the other hand, Zedev was just far too self-absorbed and self-serving to care about those doctrines, but I could tell that he was by far the more reluctant of the two when it came to working with me.

 

 

I sent an indifferent glance at the Magos. I might feel guilt again from killing innocents, but Zedev's death wouldn't weigh much on my conscience.

 

…

 

[Non-combat operation time of 'Form: Psyker' estimated at: 367 day.]

 

…

 

[Recalculating based on 'user' behaviour … ]

 

[Predicted operation time of 'Form: Psyker': 24 day.]