Flowers of Worship

Chris turned to me. He probably doesn’t know what kind of eyes he has that look at me. Those eyes are gazing right through me. How do I know if I can believe those words? I wouldn’t say I liked seeing my subordinates being cowardly, so I opened my mouth at Sophia’s outburst.

“I have heard Countess Orsso said in the salon. You may not be able to hunt in the royal palace this year, His Majesty the King will do something disconcerting, so I do not know if you will be able to afford to hunt…Oh. Your parents must be smart, Chris.”

“Tha, that’s,”

“It seems too cruel to hunt and kill the returning Crown Prince. You can’t hunt, in that case. Count Orsso seems to think the Crown Prince is going to die.”

“….”

“I also have friends in the social world.”

In fact, it is underlying.

The position is also special. Being both a knight and a woman, I had to be proficient in both societies. I had to get along well with men as well as with women. I have to dance gracefully in a corset, dress, and high heels while winning against the dancer. As a result, my personal relationships, although not deep, are thin and broad. I had quite a few friends and acquaintances in both men and women, and everyone treated me especially as the heir to the duke.

When Countess Orsso uttered those words, only seven letters came to the castle of Hastred. Because everyone thought I was the king’s trouble. It is not unreasonable to think since my relatives have already stirred up in the capital Yen Son. So some people criticized me, while others worried about me and tried to warn me. I sent the letter for different reasons, but as soon as I saw it, I knew immediately what Countess Orsso was talking about about the king’s troubles.

He was not a king who would refuse his favorite hunting to the extent of my inheritance problem. There is a saying that the king’s Buddha has no descendants because they liked it too much. Playing cards, horse racing, theater, parties, hunting, gladiators, etc. What they look forward to is the hunting season. It was very rare for a king not to be unable to attend the hunting competition season, which has started in the palace and goes around the palace’s entire hunting grounds.

However, killing a nephew who overwhelms the king in legitimacy is bound to be included in that rare event. Therefore, my right of inheritance dispute is not too difficult. My inheritance dispute is probably a greeting that can be heard while shooting a bow.

“My lord, I just… .”

“You must be loyal to your house. I know.”

“… … .”

“This time, it’s a matter of conflict, Chris. You can betray Hastred if your family and Hastred’s interests collide. This is a big problem.”

Chris bit his lip. He has his eyes closed tightly as if he is a criminal waiting to be sentenced to death. Seeing his blood draining from his face, Sophia took turns looking at him as if she had regained her consciousness. She licked her mouth. Although she is pouring in anger, she has no intention of expelling Chris from his knighthood. It is Sophia’s fault that she didn’t look back when she was emotionally upset even if she did the job perfectly. Sophia often suffered from that shortcoming, and she is still caught in that predicament.

“M, my lord. Hey, you know Chris’s loyalty. I just made a mistake for a moment because I had great feelings for the Hastred family being betrayed. It won’t be like that, my lord, no.”

Sophia hurriedly tried to dispel the word of his betrayal somehow, but Chris stopped her.

“Yes, I betrayed Hastred.”

“Do you have any excuses?” When asked, he blinked heavily and rested his head on the window.

“There is not. I thought it was also for Hastred. So I decided that he is not a person to be approached from our current position… .”

“Is it you or me who judges that?”

“… You are the lord.”

“Then what did you do?”

“I… I have overstepped.”

“Yes. Take responsibility for the actions.” I concluded and didn’t say any more. When our carriage arrived at Hastred’s townhouse, Istrum, Chris bowed deeply to me and left. Perhaps he went to Count Orsso. He might be angry with his mother. Although, originally, the Countess of Orsso is known for her light mouth. The problem is that Count Orsso has an amicable relationship with his wife, who is a friendly person and is not very good at keeping secrets. This is a fatal weakness. On the contrary, the Count of Orsso is a mean man, whereas the Countess of Orsso is a kind and virtuous person. Above all, unlike the sensitive nature of the Count, the Countess has a round and finite personality; thus, the two always get along well. It is precisely known that the count depended heavily on his wife.

Chris will be angry with his mother, but if he is angry with the Countess, the Count will be angry with his young son. The Count is a great lover known to cover up and watch over his wife, no matter what wrongs she has done.

“Sophie,” I called her as we went upstairs, and she answered with a sullen face.

“Yes, my lord.”

“Don’t tell Leon. I am tired.” Sophia’s face brightened at my words.

“Are you going to forgive Chris?”

“I think Chris really cared about us and brought his family into it. But, of course, he also has a great desire to relieve his own inferiority complex. So, I have to take that kind of heart into account.”

“Then… !”

“He’ll be gloomy for a few days, then I’ll call him back, so leave it. Leon doesn’t know. He must have a different opinion than me.”

Leon, the deputy commander of the Knights of Hastred, will probably go on a rampage when he finds out about this and will insist on Chris to be expelled. Because he cautioned that we should cut off the seed rather than forgive. Of course, if I said I wouldn’t do that, Leon would also break my will, but it was clear that what would be given to Chris is very subtle and persistent bullying.

“Yes, of course, my lord.”

“Alright, take a good rest today. I have to do an audience tomorrow.”

“Yes, yes, my lord.”

I patted Sophia’s arm a couple of times, then entered my room. When I saw that there was hot water, I took off my clothes and went straight into the water. It felt like my whole body was loosening up after thinking of Leon, Sophia, and Chris for a moment while in the water. I thought of Eden.

“Take the sword.”

The only will has left.

_{tl/n: the will she meant is Eden.}

“It’s too good of a sword to rot with me.”

He can’t wait for the memories, he can’t ask for burial, and he can’t ask for the remains.

“It was a very precious sword for me.”

A child who can’t even say he’s sorry, who has been deprived of everything.

Ah, I don’t know what to do… . Why did my father do this? What the hell did he want me to do with this? And why did he die so suddenly?

I slowly dipped my body into the hot water. From the back of my head to my face was submerged in water. I stayed in the water until the heat filled my head and I couldn’t even think.

✵ Third part. Salvation ✵

It isn’t surprising that I got locked up in the tower as soon as I arrived at the royal palace. I was lucky not to have my neck cut off. I just sighed as soon as I got stuck in the tower. I don’t know how to live now. I’ve lived like this for a very long time, but lately, I’ve been living like a human. Above all, I slept in a good bed and studied.

When I lay down on the straw bed and closed my eyes, I thought of Cili in a white shirt. She has unbuttoned the top of her shirt, so I could always see the necklace hanging from Cili’s neck. It was a necklace in honor of the divine, but it was a neat and pretty necklace. It was for women, but it looked a little bit fancy as Cili’s possession. Whose is it? Had it been a gift? I wanted to ask, but in the end, I couldn’t.

Farewell.

Thank you.

You’re the only one.

Those words did nothing. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I just cried. Now I don’t have to hold back my tears. I’m going to die anyway, so what can I do?

I only have her now, even though we’re not related. But I only have her. She saved me and offered me things to live as a man. My parents only tested me, but she taught me. She is the only one next to me. My parents are good people and had loved me, but I couldn’t reach or see them because they were outside of this realm.

You are the only good person in my life.

I’m sorry I betrayed you. Thanks for the sword, though. I don’t know if you forgave me or just sympathized with me. Either way, thank you very much. I’m sorry I died without repaying anything for your favor.

I…can’t pay you back if I live.

When I die, I will definitely repay this favor.

Tears flowed. I was so sorry, and my life was so pitiful that there was no time for me to breathe. I cried in a muffled sound. I didn’t want the guards which would be listening to my presence to hear my cries.

When I die, I will repay this favor by telling my parents and all my ancestors. I will see to punish all who interfere with your rights of inheritance. I’m really sorry. Thank you so much.