Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 124 – WHO Baffled as Florida Man Successfully Cured COVID by Spitting into Patient's Mouth

A few minutes earlier

Leo followed the crowd to a massive horror hallway, where dried corpses, blood stains, skeletons, and human body parts piled into mountains. He glanced at the scene and pursed his lips, having the urge to contaminate everything and bring them to his alchemy workshop.

"So many treasures," uttered Leo.

The cultists laughed in elation, "Of course, senior. We've brought in so many sacrifices this year."

"Situ Shang?"

It was Leo's first time hearing of Situ surname. He still had no idea that he had defeated Situ Nantian, who was the strongest among Situ Clan's cultivators in this world.

"Yes, senior. After you and everybody has entered the mystic realm, Elder Priest Situ Shang has been managing the cult. He said that he was about to reach the quasi-immortal stage soon. If we can bring him enough sacrifices, he promised to contribute his blood element cultivation method to the sect and allow us to cultivate it."

"…"

Leo narrowed his eyes for a moment and turned his attention to the mountains of corpses. He secretly checked the age and gender of the sacrifices.

Most of the dead bodies were adult and old men. Some beasts' carcasses were in the mix. Although everything looked perfectly fine for a villain organization, Leo was still disgusted by their ethic and warped philosophies.

These guys weren't qualified to be his customers, Leo thought. They deserved to rot in hell.

Looking enough, Leo averted his eyes from the piles of dead bodies. But as he walked without looking at the road, his feet kicked something small.

Leo looked at his feet. Then, he noticed a dead body of a 3-or-4-year-old little boy. The dead body looked like a dried mummy whose blood had been drained.

"…"

Leo's expression turned dark. He knelt and flipped the dead body. When it was flipped over, Leo could see the child's wide eyes. The boy's despair and desperation could be seen in his expression as he died with his eyes wide open.

Silently, Leo reached out and touched the child's face. He closed the boy's eyes and inwardly prayed.

'They will pay. Be patient.'

As Leo directly touched the dead body, the corpse crumbled into dust.

Leo stood up and quietly followed the crowd. He pulled out a pistol and a repaired lightsaber from his spatial ring, preparing a massacre.

BOOM

As Leo was about to activate the avenger mode, a loud explosion from the end of the hallway interrupted his thought. Leo and the cultists looked forward.

"Someone is fighting!"

The cultists sprinted in the direction. As for Leo, he cocked the pistol, preparing to backstab everybody. But then, his nose caught the scent of Cat. In addition, a thick iron-like odor kicked Leo's nose.

Flashback scenes of Cat entered Leo's mind. His pupil color changed from green to red, and his sclera turned black. For the second time in this world, the kind and silly Florida Man was angry. This time, his rage surpassed when Situ Nantian stole his goodies.

Kicking the ground, Leo leaped forward and sprinted on the wall, overtaking the cultists. He arrived at the altar area before the group. Upon arrival, Leo looked up and found Cat.

However, she was not in good condition. Her vines were severed, and she bled black blood. Not far from her, a black mannequin lady's stomach got punctured by a spike, and slime-like blood threatened to devour her.

Leo also overheard their conversation.

"Fool! I'm the blood master! You cannot kill me! I AM IMMORTAL-"

"Say what?!" Leo uttered, but his voice echoed in the chasm.

Not thinking of anything, Leo threw the lightsaber toward the mannequin.

The mannequin lady caught the lightsaber and glanced at Leo. As soon as she saw him, she and Cat reacted in unison as they recognized him.

Although the mannequin's physique was made from Cat's blood, her face was capable of expressing emotions. For the first time, the mannequin lady proudly smiled.

Using the lightsaber, Cat's dao avatar broke free from the blood restraints and the spike. After getting back to the ground, she gazed at the damaged spike and the mass of blood.

Strangely, the blood slime failed to merge or come back to life. They melted and burnt because of the sword's energy.

The mannequin gazed at the lightsaber, impressed and astonished. She then looked at her savior and Cat.

Meanwhile, Situ Shang felt the burn from the lightsaber. He transferred his consciousness to another floating blood mass and reconstructed his body.

"AAAAAAAHHH!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

He soon spotted Leo, who had thrown the lightsaber at the mannequin.

In anger, Situ Shang glared at Leo, and their eyes met.

Leo silently aimed his pistol toward Situ Shang's head. His mannequin dao avatar also merged his hand with Leo's, assisting the aim.

"YOU! YOU ARE COURTING DEATH-"

BANG!

The bullet pierced through Situ Shang's head and exploded his brain out from the back hole. No fancy effect occurred as Leo didn't bother adding too many drops of his element essence or Qi.

The floating body of Situ Shang was suspended in the air for a few seconds before it fell to the ground.

"ELDER SITU?!"

The cultists looked at Leo and Situ Shang in shock as the fight happened so fast. The people around the altar were also stunned as they didn't expect a fellow cultist to kill each other. Moreover, none of the cultists had seen the artifact in Leo's hand before.

The cultists shivered and trembled in fear. Even though Leo had murdered one of their elders, they didn't have the guts to retaliate. After all, the strongest cultivators here were nascent soul cultivators. They were aware that they couldn't defeat Leo, whose aura resembled soul formation cultivators.

Leo complained and yawned.

"Can we finish this quick? I need to sleep. I'm tired."

Ignoring Leo, Cat shed tears of joy. She jumped.

"Meow <3"

"Yeah, yeah. I love you too. Also, who is this black lady? Is she your friend?"

Cat turned to the black blood mannequin. The hole in her stomach was already healed as her physique was made from liquid. She faced Leo and slightly bowed her head.

Leo looked back and forth between Cat and the mannequin. He let out a short sigh.

"Fine. I'll ask you two later."

He turned his attention to the other cultists around him.

As random combat would have been troublesome, Leo came up with an idea. He shouted.

"FORM RANKS, IDIOTS! STAND 10 ROWS IN FRONT OF ME IF YOU DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"!!!"

The people jolted and ran toward Leo. However, as Cat was still in her giant form and the mannequin was still on the loose, not everybody followed his order.

Noticing that the crowd didn't follow Leo's instructions, he pointed at Cat.

"Guess what?! That monster over there is my freaking DAUGHTER! WHOEVER MESSES WITH HER MESS WITH ME! CAPISCE?!"

Hearing Leo's words, their brains computed and understood why Leo killed Situ Shang. They rushed toward Leo and stood in rows and columns, ignoring the presence of Cat and the mannequin lady.

When everybody in the chasm finished gathering, Leo let out a sigh of relief. He stared at them, pondering if he should massacre everybody here at the same time or capture them in his domain.

Still, human trafficking, senseless murdering, and promoting dubious rituals were unforgivable crimes by Leo's standards. He had no intention of leaving them alive.

'I might as well terminate this stupid organization. I need to expand my store domain south one day, and these idiots are in the way. Welp. Time for some yin liquid harvesting!'

Coming up with an idea, Leo also purchased a large bucket from a system store. He then spat several times into the bucket and filled it with water, using his water Qi.

After the bucket was full, Leo ordered the crowd.

"One by one, bring your cup and scoop the water from the bucket! Do not drink it yet!"

"???"

The crowd was confused. As they saw Leo spit into the container, their expressions were complex as they were disgusted. Still, as it was an order from a senior cultivator, they had no choice but to comply.

One after another, the cultists brought out a cup, a glass, or a bamboo canteen from their spatial rings. They took the water from the bucket and went back to the line.

As over two hundred cultists were present in the chasm, Leo quickly ran out of water. He was forced to spit several more times and refilled the container with his Qi. Then, he continued the process until everybody got theirs.

Three hours later, everybody got their water. They stared at the containers in their hands, wondering what Leo was trying to do. As they inspected further, they discovered that the water surface glittered in rainbow light.

"What is this water?"

"T-The elder spat in it. What is he doing?"

"Isn't this element Qi?"

Nobody could guess Leo's intention. They waited for his next order.

When everybody returned to their position, Leo gave them the next order, which shocked them.

"VERY GOOD! NOW, DRINK THE ELIXIR IN YOUR HANDS! NO EXCEPTION!"

"W-What?!"

Everybody was taken aback as they hadn't forgotten how Leo spat into the bucket. They looked at the water containers in their hands in disgust.

Still, Leo's order was absolute. Fearing death, more than half of the cultists drank the water while the rest waited to see the result.

Leo wasn't naïve when he dealt with his prisoners. He looked at Cat.

"Cat. Nom-Nom the idiots that haven't drunk the water yet!"

"Nom-Nom Meow!"

Without hesitation, Cat regrew her vines and snatched 50 cultists in the yard. Not bothering with their clothes and spatial rings, she threw them into her chomper mouth and chewed them in glee.

"NOOOO!! FORGIVE US!!"

As Cat hadn't captured all of them in one try, the rest of the cultists covered their noses and downed the water in their throats. After drinking the diluted spit, they knelt and begged Leo.

"We drank it. We've drunk it, senior! Please forgive us!"

"We didn't know, senior! It was Situ Shang's fault!"

"Please don't kill us!"

Leo snorted. He walked toward the mannequin lady and took back the lightsaber. He deactivated it and put it back into his spatial ring, after which he crossed his arms and silently stared at the remaining crowd.

He counted as he waited.

"Seven… Eight… Nine…"

The people were more confused. They counted along.

"Ten? Eleven? Twelve… UGH!"

A cultist squeezed his throat and collapsed to the ground. He trembled and uncontrollably convulsed. After the first guy showed the symptom of mutation, the others also began to scream.

"AAAAHHH!!"

"P-POISON!!"

"NOOOOO!!"

The remaining cultists in the chasm courtyard squirmed in pain. Their muscle mass swelled and bloated as their blood multiplied.

"Shwifty-one…Shwifty-two…"

As torturing these cultists improved Leo's mood, his accent degraded. He started counting and using baby language.

"Shwifty… Five? Man. This takes me back to the classical age of YouTube."

.

That day, Cat and the mannequin watched how Leo mutated and killed 200 cultists at once while the guy randomly danced like a lunatic in the middle of the corpse field.