Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 119 – Warrant Issued on Florida Man Again after His Missing Man-Eating Cat Found in Church Along With Half-Eaten Priests

"Who's doing this to y'all?"

Leo inspected the transparent cage that trapped the horses. He stroked the smooth surface of the cube.

The four statues glanced at Leo and grinned. The cat-octopus statue secretly chanted a spell, dispelling the trap array.

Munya!

The transparent cage vanished like smoke. The thunder unicorns cried and surrounded Leo, thanking him for freeing them.

"Alright. Alright. Calm your tits, damn donkeys! Let's come down and arrange a place for you to stay. Also, we need to set some rules so that you won't accidentally kill my employees down there."

Leo ordered the unicorns and Taxi to sit around him while he gave them a brief lecture about the domain's rules.

First, they could not harm Leo and his employees unless it was self-defense.

Second, thunder unicorns were obliged to protect the facilities, employees, and guests of Leo's domain. Against hostile intruders, they were allowed to use deadly force as long as they wouldn't damage the store and other buildings.

Third, they had to treat their comrades, Leo, and his employees with respect. Bullying and sexual harassment would not be tolerated.

Fourth, thunder unicorns, including Taxi, could explore outside the domain at their own risk. In case they caused trouble, Leo and his employees would not be held responsible for their actions. However, in case they were attacked first and were forced to flee to the domain, they could ask Leo to help them if necessary.

Fifth, each thunder unicorn would receive a fixed wage per day by choosing one of the following choices; 10 stalks of immortal grass, 10 yin cabbages, 10 bottles of rejuvenate tea, or one essence stone.

Taxi and others agreed to the terms as protecting Leo's territory was a simple task. After all, they could laze around and wait to receive free food easily. All unicorns inwardly laughed.

"Smashishishishishi."

"Smashishishishishi!"

"SMASHSHISHISHI!"

After seeing how cocky they were, Leo imposed the sixth condition.

"As you know, I'm an alchemist, and I need some ingredients to make pills. Coincidentally, I need unicorn horns. Therefore…"

Taxi and the other unicorns closed their mouths. They sweated profusely.

"I won't ask for much, but I will need one of you to sell me your horn. Of course, I'll pay you with whatever you want from the store, be it extra food or pills that I made."

Taxi and the unicorns gulped as their horns were their pride and social status. Trimming it or cutting it was like a death sentence in their social life.

However, Leo's offer tempted the elderly unicorns. A few of them already mated with their partners, and they no longer needed the horns to find mates. One of them trotted in front of the group and gazed at Leo.

Leo gazed back at the elderly unicorn. Curious, he summoned a lifespan status to check its age.

.

Name: Nameless Thunder Unicorn

Age: 4,487 Years

Remaining Lifespan: 512 Years, 11 Months, 29 Days, 11 Hours, 49 Minutes

.

"Wow."

Leo was surprised to see a real elder among the ponies. It was over 4,000 years old, and its physique was toner than the others. However, it didn't look as energetic as Taxi and the younger unicorns.

The nameless unicorn lowered its head and rubbed it against Leo's face, showing affection and trust.

Leo bitterly smiled. He patted its head in return, "You do realize that my body is poisonous, right? You could have died had your immunity system and DNA failed on you."

"Smash…"

"You don't care? Well, I do care for my friends and family. I don't want to accidentally kill you by touching you. Anyway, back to the topic, it's not like I want your entire horn. I just need the tiny tip."

The elder unicorn's horn was over a meter long, and it curved upward like an elephant's tusk. As it was too long for the 2-meter-tall pony, a portion of it was covered in dirt. Leo patted the dirt and mud off to see its real beauty.

CRACK

Before Leo could pick the part he wanted, the elder unicorn's horn glowed in silver light and broke in half!

"Hold up! I didn't say that I want that now!"

"…Smash :P"

"Yeah, too late. I know. Oh, dear. Does it hurt?" Leo checked the wound to see if the unicorn was in pain. He thought of making a new batch of elixir grain pills to heal it."

"Smash :D"

The elder unicorn smiled. The next moment, it gathered lightning essence in its horn. The wound mended, and a portion of its horn regrew. Although it failed to restore the horn's size and shape at the moment, it would soon restore its former glory in a few weeks.

Leo was relieved to learn that the unicorns could regrow their horns. He stroked the pony's head.

"Thanks, buddy. I'll give you extra food today. What do you want?"

"Smash :D" The elder wanted a mountain of dragon fruits.

"Dragon fruits? Fine. I'll bring you some. Also, do you need a name?"

"Smash XD"

"Okay. Then. Since I call that idiot Fake Taxi, you will be known as P***hub!"

"… Smash? D:" The elder unicorn found the name weird.

"Don't worry. This name is very unique. It also has a nice meaning to it!" Leo bashfully smiled and gave it a thumbs up.

.

After naming the elderly unicorn, the others also wanted their unique names, and Leo satisfied their desire. However, nobody realized where their origins came from.

OnlyF***, Xvi***, Nh***ai, R***34, those iconic names were famous in Leo's world as only cultured men and women would know. There were others, but Leo simply gave them some actresses' names that he remembered.

After the naming ceremony was complete, Leo guided the crowd to the ground. The unicorns cheered and jumped down along with Leo.

While they were gliding and descending, Leo finally noticed the change in geography and landscape. At the southwest of his domain, there was a humongous trench, threading from the southwest of the farmland to the south.

Leo landed and rushed to see the giant hole. He looked into the pit in confusion at first. But when he recalled the order that he had given to some mannequins a week ago, Leo smacked his forehead.

"Did those idiots keep digging because I didn't tell them when to stop?!"

Annoyed, Leo turned around and ordered Wu Buyi to bring the horses to the northwest area of the domain to settle there. He then jumped into the pit to measure the depth.

Falling three kilometers deep, Leo landed at the bottom of the massive hole. He looked up to see the rays of light from above as it was dark in there.

Looking at the scenery from below, Leo thought of the Grand Canyon as this place reminded him of the bottom of those tall canyons and plateaus. Two tall cliffs and the deep trench created a path to the south.

Leo sprinted and followed the pathway. He wondered if this deep trench would continue until the edge of his domain.

Exceeding his expectation, the path continued outside the domain boundary. After traveling two kilometers, Leo still couldn't see the end of the trench.

As Leo couldn't measure the length efficiently by looking at it from below, he kicked the ground and jumped off the canyon. Leo landed on the surface first. Then, he jumped again so that he could see where the trench's other end was.

After jumping to the sky, Leo could get a clear picture of the canyon's pathway. It was connected to a river. However, that river was also dried by an unknown cause.

Coming down, Leo leaped toward the dried river. He wondered if the mannequins unknowingly worked until they reached that area. When Leo arrived, he found five of his mannequins digging the trench with their shovels.

'Since when had I bought them shovels?'

Leo scratched his head. He didn't remember giving them shovels.

When Leo looked at them carefully, he noticed that they weren't actually shovels. The things in their hands were makeshift shovels, made from spear shafts and metal plates.

"Dudes. Where did you get those?" Leo approached the bots and asked them. He forgot that they couldn't speak.

One of them stopped working and menacingly stared at Leo with two glowing red eyes. The others also did the same, surrounding him.

Fortunately, Leo wasn't scared of creep dolls. He patted their heads, "That's enough work. I ordered you to dig a fish pond, but you freaking created the Grand Canyon. What were you thinking?"

The mannequins tilted their heads in unison. Then, they pointed at the river.

"???"

Leo couldn't understand them. He also tilted his head, mimicking their gesture.

While Leo was confused, his dao avatar came out from his body. He stood in front of the crowd and looked at them for a moment. He then turned around and acted as their translator.

'Silly master, they said they were digging a fish pond as you asked.'

"But why it's so deep and big?!"

The mannequin turned to the workers. While turning its back to Leo, the avatar's shoulders trembled as if it was laughing.

'That's what she said.'

"…"

Leo flinched for a minute as he didn't expect to hear that joke in this world. He took a deep breath, handling it like a pro.

"Okay. You got me. But it's too big."

'That's what she said.'

"…"

Leo raised his hands and turned around, secretly venting his frustration. After reeling in his emotion, he smiled at his avatar and avoided the trap.

"What are they doing?"

'Tsk.'

"Don't "Tsk" me. Tell me what they were doing?"

'Fine.'

The dao avatar pointed at the dried river. Leo also looked at it.

'There was plenty of water when the mannequins reached here. But when they were about to direct the waterway to the trench, some black-clothed cultivators attacked them. Cat joined the fight, and they managed to repel the attackers.'

Leo narrowed his eyes. He rechecked the conditions of the workers.

Fortunately, no clear damage had been inflicted on them. They looked brand new.

"How did they survive? I remember that they aren't combatants."

'Meh, those cultivators were weak. Anything under the immortal stage can't possibly hurt them… they said.'

Leo nodded in approval. If they were this strong, he could leave dangerous tasks with them, "Excellent. Well, where is Cat, by the way? What happened to her?"

The mannequins lowered their heads. The dao avatar's expression was also gloomed.

'They said… Cat has been captured by those guys.'

"WHAT?!"

Something didn't make sense there. Since these mannequins were stronger than average cultivators in this world, they should have been able to protect or repel random thieves and robbers. Leo couldn't understand how Cat got abducted when these mannequins were invincible.

"If these guys said they are stronger than everybody here, how come she got captured?"

The dao avatar shook his head, 'It's not their fault. It's hers.'

"How so?" Leo was confused.

'They said that… she… deliberately allowed herself to be captured, and she told these guys not to help her.'

"…"

'…For the sake of nom-nom meow.'

"…"

Leo facepalmed. It took him five minutes to restore his sanity to ask another question.

"Where is she now? Where did she go?"

The mannequins pointed at the southwest. The dao avatar also looked in that direction and translated their thoughts.

'Fatui Cult.'