Collide Gamer

Chapter 1 – Exceedingly Average Beginnings

It had all changed at some point yesterday. It had been the average birthday for John Newman – that was to say, his mom had congratulated him and he had spent the rest of the day gaming. Pleasant, all things considered. A bit anticlimactic that 18 began just like 17.

The day after his birthday though, that was a different story.

John rubbed his eyes. ‘Must still be asleep,’ he thought and stretched. He pinched his leg and winced at the pain. Then his eyes drifted across his dirty room. Neither factors were anything short of real. Still, this couldn’t be right. ‘Might as well?’ he pressed accept and then played out whatever else this strange dream would have to offer.

Out of the bed and up to his closet. The integrated mirror in the door showed a reflection of himself. A lanky and thoroughly unimpressive specimen of a man – he knew that much. John didn’t care much about sports and what little interest may have remained was thoroughly killed by Frank’s efforts to humiliate him.

More interesting than himself was the little description floating over his head though.

John Newman

Lvl 3: Student.

The Gamer.

His name, a level, a class, a title, it was like this world just turned into some MMORPG. ‘The dream at least sticks to the theme,’ he considered and flexed his mental muscles. If it was an RPG, then certainly there should have been a…

There it was. It said something unflattering about John that his only Skill was that he could pleasure himself. He chose to ignore that and instead tapped on the other two Skills for a closer description.

Gamer's body: Your body is like that of a video game character. Wounds on you are merely for show, as they heal near instantaneously. Damage is instead represented by your depleting HP bar. Mana is given a definite numerical value.

Gamer's spirit: Actions you take will sometimes create new Skills that can be upgraded through practice and other conditions. You may be offered Quests. Your abilities have been translated into Stats, your life experience into Experience. Levelling will grant you Stat Points to distribute.

A look at his Stats reflected what he was: a lanky dude totally out of shape who spent all his time studying, playing video games and watching porn. He was not ugly. He wasn’t attractive either. When it came to looks he was so average he could have posed for the dictionary definition. Brown hair, brown eyes, no interesting features.

Swiping further through the character screens, he soon found that average face looking back at him. Strangely, this depiction of him was fully naked. His boxers were slotted into a square around his body. There were slots for nearly every type of item he could wear. An empty list informed him that his inventory could hold up to 24 items.

‘This is a really coherent dream,’ John mumbled to himself, his tone bordering on confusion. He put a finger on his boxers on the screen and dragged them over to his inventory.

Suddenly he was naked.

The piece of clothing had disappeared from his body. His rather average, if not slightly small, dick hung out in the warm air of the room. He did his best to ignore it. The morning wood made that somewhat difficult, but when he wasn’t taking care of it he preferred not to pay attention. No need to have more reasons to feel terrible before he went out to school…

‘The dream could at least give me an upgrade there,’ he wished, while exploring the rest of the menu. Out of interest, he tapped on his boxers in his inventory.

Sleepwear boxers: this pair of cheap boxers is used as sleepwear by The Gamer. They are heavily overdue for a wash and reflect the general state of poor hygiene in the room. Stop relying on your mom for the laundry!

Skill gained: Observe lvl1

Observe: Here, let me open your eyes a bit. Look at something or someone to find out details about them. Higher levels reveal more details.

The dream was getting ever stranger. The little snipes the system took at him were oddly personal, as was the degree of detail it knew about his life. This could be associated with his subconscious telling him to at least clean up his room, but… wasn’t all of this a bit too true to life?

John scanned his room. His figurines in the shelves, dusty but still valuable – particularly that A2 one with the production error. A true collector’s item, that one. There were scattered paper towels and snack packages he hadn’t cleaned in days or weeks and they were all exactly where they were supposed to be.

And wasn’t it supposed to be impossible to read in a dream anyway?

John scratched the back of his head. There was no oddity to the sensation. His fingers grinded through short, slightly greasy hair. He clawed a little harder and again felt pain. He took a step and moved. He dragged the boxer’s back to his character and they appeared again. Then they disappeared again when he reversed it.

He looked at his alarm. It gave him the same time of day he usually woke up on a school day. A Monday, a blasted Monday, and he was roughly three minutes behind schedule. Not that it mattered much if he was exactly on time. Ashcroft was an unusual school in many ways – mostly that it was a prep school more closely resembling a typical day school. Private, extended education.

And he had all of these thoughts, all of the dread of going there, without waking up. Nothing in the room was unusual. Nothing about his state indicated he was still asleep.

‘Which means… this is real life?’ John thought, then laughed. That couldn’t be it. Good things didn’t happen to him outside of video games. ‘But what if my life just became one?’

The question sent his mind whirling in all directions. Metal parts creaked when he half fell into the bed again. Endless possibilities drifted by his mind’s eye. If this wasn’t a dream… if these system messages were real and told the truth… then he could become whatever he wanted.

‘I just need to practice and grind and I can master anything I want to, even stuff I suck at,’ he thought. ‘Just like professions in every last MMO grindfest.’

The sane idea that this was still a dream wrestled with his wish that it was real.

‘Screw it, I’ll just assume that it’s real. What’s the worst that could happen? I wake up and then nothing’s changed,’ John said and jumped to his feet. ‘First step, getting that Quest done. Easy EXP and a little bit of a view into how this works in practice.’

The life of the Gamer had just begun.