Because I Cannot Hurt You

Chapter 543 Life cannot be lived like a template

　　Shuang folded her arms and stared at Daniel whose chest was heaving up and down. "So it's not like you are disgusted with same sex couples. You are afraid of the repercussions of it."

　　Daniel made a face. "I still prefer heterosexual couples. That just seems right to me. At a young age, it is easier to say that you can live without having children and all. But as you age, you start to long for having your own family and I don't just mean by having a partner. Kids. Parenting. It's an experience of its own. Adoption and treating someone else's child as your own is also not easy. I just wanted Jack to live a normal life. As a father, I was not wrong in feeling that way!"

　　Si Min pursed her lips and sighed.

　　Jack looked at him, stunned. "What? You were worried about society? Who cares what they think!?"

　　Until now, Jack only thought that Daniel only cared about his reputation of having a bisexual son.

　　Daniel's face twisted. "Excuse me? You live IN society. How can you live excluded from humans surrounding you at all sides? And humans who don't think so highly of such relationships! You should have a career that earns well and gives you a high standing. You should have a relationship which won't force you to give an explanation over and over again! You should make your life simpler, not complicated! You did everything opposite. You hated to become a doctor, you became a delinquent and then you liked men! All recipes of a disaster!"

　　Shuang had enough of it, and she finally stepped forward, facing him eye to eye. "I understand where you are coming from. But it's life. We don't live our life by following a template. Do this, do that, do this and that and live a happy life. Over. It doesn't work that way. Not for everybody. Get into a good college, have a good career, get married at the right time, have children at the right time and life is fulfilled. The world would be so boring if everyone lived like this!"

　　His mouth twitched.

　　"Why do you think Jack would have had to explain himself again and again if he had a male partner? If they accept it, that's good. If they don't, that's their problem. I know living where a society generally doesn't accept your orientation is challenging. But are we living our lives for our sake or for others? So you mean to say that Jack should have married to keep the people happy, not himself? Or that it doesn't matter if Jack is happy in that relationship or not as long as others are satisfied?"

　　He widened his eyes. "Of course, I don't mean that! I am his father. Naturally, I want to see my son happy!"

　　"But you not accepting my bisexuality is contradictory!" Jack lashed out. Veins popped on his forehead, thinking of all the grievances he had to face.

　　"It's already hard for society to accept me and if on top of that, my parents would refuse to acknowledge me too, then how am I supposed to feel!? Where will I go if my own family wants to reject me?"

　　Shuang gravely nodded.

　　"Do you think I wanted to become a delinquent? No! You forced me to become one because you never tried to understand me. First, you forced your career ideals on me, and then you refused to accept my sexuality too."

　　"It was all for your own good!" Daniel exclaimed. "Fine…" he muttered under his breath, "I might be wrong in forcing you to become a doctor if you didn't want that. I just wanted you to live a financially secure life and with dignity in society. Doctors are well respected no matter where you go, more so than any other career. I admit I was wrong there to force you…"

　　After a long and deep contemplation with himself and with his wife, Si Min too, he concluded that forcing career upon Jack was unfair to him.

　　"I…I am sorry for that…" 

　　Jack stared at him with his jaw dropped. 

　　He is apologizing? Dad is?

　　After ten long years, Daniel Walker was finally apologizing to his son.

　　Si Min nodded in satisfaction. 

　　"But I will still oppose your sexuality! Liking men is…" he trembled. "It's simply unacceptable!"

　　Jack, who felt a little somber after his apology, glared at him. "That's not for you to decide. Like Shuang asked, will you be fine if I married a woman just for the sake of appearances, but I am not happy with her at all? Can you see me like that?"

　　Daniel opened and closed his mouth several times. He wanted to oppose him but felt at a loss.

　　"...Of course not. You are my son. I have always wanted to see you happy," he clenched his fists and found his words after a long time, "Fine. I am old-fashioned. I might believe in following a template to live a life because I don't want unnecessary problems in life. I strive to make it easier to live for myself and such that society doesn't question too much either. I lived a poor life with Mom when my father left us. People were judgmental all around. It was…" his gaze was solemn, "hard living a life like that when society seemed to be against your existence. That's why, I always tried to live a life where my family would be treated with respect."

　　Jack blinked. "You were poor? I thought you…"

　　Si Min sighed. "He doesn't talk about his past. Only I know about it. Daniel took full responsibility to shoulder his education and take care of Mom when they were abandoned."

　　Daniel gritted his teeth. "Not like it's a glorious time to talk about! Why are you moping around like that?"

　　He was dumbfounded. "I am your son! Shouldn't I know how you lived with your family? I always thought you lived normally with them…"

　　Now he realized why Daniel never talked about his father much.