Bailonz Street 13

It seemed as if his crumbling soul was clashing with something trying to mend its wounds. I had a strong feeling that he shouldn’t continue sleeping here.

I brushed away the snow that was starting to accumulate on his cheeks again and shook him.

“Liam, wake up. We need to go home.”

His eyelids still wouldn’t open.

Damn it, what should I say? What words would make this ice-cold man open his eyes?

If I can’t wake him, it’s over. Not only will I be unable to leave, but Liam’s seizure won’t subside either.

The people of Greenwich have no way to wake Liam, nor can they calm him down. So what will happen? They’ll probably forcibly seal off the room to prevent Liam’s power from leaking out. Herschel Hopkins cares deeply for his godson, but he loves the world more.

That would mean Liam’s death.

This can’t happen. After all the effort I’ve put in, after everything I’ve done to keep this man alive. I couldn’t let him die here. I don’t care what happens to me. Death? I’m not even afraid of it. But not this man.

My voice trembled involuntarily, probably due to the cold.

“Who asked you to go this far.”

I lowered my head, still cradling his. I could see the force trying to bridge the cracks growing weaker.

If this unparalleled fool couldn’t find a way to remember, he should have just forgotten. If I had known he would destroy not only his body but his soul in an attempt to remember me, I would never have given him anything.

“Did you think I wanted you to be in pain?”

I whispered. It didn’t matter if the man heard me or not. I was just… angry. While I was only thinking about how to escape from here somehow, he was… wishing for me to continue living. With a choked voice, I gripped Liam’s shirt tightly.

You end up making it impossible for me to run away. Always. Whether it’s death or ruin or the Black King, I don’t care, I just seem to keep turning back towards you. I was more of a coward than I thought, someone who only cared about myself and those close to me living well. You keep making me choose you.

“Why do you do this to me?”

I know. Human relationships can’t always be horizontal. They’re like a scale; a stable relationship can only continue when both sides hang an appropriate weight of feelings. But he always placed more heart, more sincerity on the opposite side, preciously holding my heart that became infinitely lighter in front of it. As if it didn’t matter what happened to him as long as I was okay.

If this isn’t being a fool, then what is?

Liam Moore had placed so much on his side that it was now immeasurable. The scale had tilted until it touched the ground. When one side tilts too much, the other side naturally spills over. Liam Moore had bet everything on me, and naturally, I…

Yes. I admit it. I lost.

I lost. Even though there’s no winning or losing between people, Liam Moore had claimed victory in this foolish seesaw game. In the end, I’m the one spilling over towards him. Towards this foolish man.

So only then, after countless deliberations and re-measurements, could I define the subtle temperature floating between us.

I tightened my arms around him. And then, words I would never have uttered in my lifetime came out surprisingly easily. As if these words belonged to Liam Moore.

You,

“…I love you. You idiot.”

So now, come back from your night.

＊ ＊ ＊

There’s no need to regret the setting of the sun.

Everyone knows it will return anyway, and another day will follow.

Don’t pity all decay. Accept it. The sun still exists even when unseen, and when the night that lives and dies by natural law ends, another day will be born.

Love the fading day, rejoicing in its peaceful surrender.

A voice was speaking to me. Was it a prophecy? Or perhaps the words of a god. I was waiting with my head bowed for the person in my arms to wake up, but the voice seemed to be telling me to give up.

The blue sky was fading. The dimming light spoke of the passage of time. My kneeling legs no longer felt the cold, as if they would freeze and stiffen in place. Snow began to pile up on my shoulders and head. At first it melted, but now it didn’t. As if my body heat was being stolen away.

The man who could be infinitely close yet easily distant was still in my arms. No longer distancing himself, as if he had forgotten how. Watching this, I quietly closed my eyes. Perhaps this would be my end.

Just then, I heard a sound like arrows being fired and lifted my head.

The sky I saw was darkening at an astonishing rate. I could see stars falling. The falling stars made a ‘swoosh’ sound.

Why?

Even if I asked why, there’s no explanation. This is just inside Liam Moore’s heart after all. How could one attach reason to the heart?

Ah, how beautiful. A surreal landscape, a surreal man, and me there with him.

For a moment, I felt breathless.

What if Liam Moore doesn’t wake up? Even the ‘I love you’ shock therapy with all my heart had failed, and I was afraid that Liam Moore might never wake up. What should I do? I realized I was more afraid of Liam not opening his eyes than of the Black King or the strange beings in the void.

‘If only he had laughed, if he had smiled, it wouldn’t have been as frightening as this.’

The tip of my nose stung. My eyes were hot too. Tears flowed non-stop as if a faucet had been turned on.

I’m sorry, Herschel. I’m sorry, Owen. I apologize, people of Greenwich. I guess I was more incompetent than I thought.

Saving Liam Moore is a failure. There are no fairy tale moments in this bleak 19th century fantasy London where shouting “I love you!” makes someone open their eyes with a start. A kiss, passionate love – all of it was insufficient to bring him back.

I feel a heavy pain in my heart, weighed down by guilt. I clutch at my chest, breathing quietly. My cheeks are hot. Tears fall endlessly onto his face, which looks as if it were painted.

Liam Moore began to blur.

＊ ＊ ＊

Anomalies always come at unexpected moments, which is why they’re called anomalies. No, I should call this a miracle. If this isn’t a miracle, what on earth would be?

I don’t know what caused it. Perhaps even the truth in my mind will never know. The only thing I know is one fact: suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around my neck.

It was such an abrupt change that I screamed in shock. Then, helplessly pulled in by Liam Moore embracing me, I was enveloped in his arms. The man’s firm chest now repeatedly rose and fell, as if his breathing had finally cleared.

Liam is breathing! The cracks that had pierced his body quickly shrank and then disappeared without a trace!

A dumbfounded voice burst from my mouth.

“Huh?”

Before I could even wipe away my tears, I was rolled over and over in the snow in his embrace.

I could see color returning to his skin. A warmth hot enough to melt snow touched me through the thin fabric. The snowfall that had been threatening to bury us both was gradually weakening. It seemed to know its master had returned.

“Huh?”

While I was stupidly repeating that sound, Liam called ‘my’ name.

“Jane.”

Yes, it was the Liam I knew.

A voice deeper and firmer than young Liam Moore’s, eyes with a seasoned look, kind ash-gray eyes with a hint of mischief. These belonged only to the thirty-year-old Liam Moore.

Liam placed his hand on my cheek with a faint smile, slowly rubbing with his thumb.

“I told you I’d wait.”

While he reached out to wipe my damp face, I just stared at the living, moving Liam Moore with my mouth agape. It felt like someone who had been put in a coffin had come back to life. The only voice I could manage was:

“How?”

Liam smiled brightly.

“Is that important?”

“…No.”

It’s not important. What’s important is the fact that Liam Moore exists here. Nothing else mattered.

I could feel Liam’s heartbeat in our embrace. His heart was beating very quickly, like a young animal. It seemed to be telling me about Liam Moore’s survival, which made me relax.

With relief, I finally patted Liam’s shoulders, and he, as if he couldn’t even feel the pain, just laughed cheerfully and pulled me onto his lap. His firm thigh muscles supported me.

“Ah, my lovely Jane. The fact that I always see you when I open my eyes, it really gives me a romantic feeling.”

I replied flatly.

“The problem is that you keep losing consciousness in front of me, William Moore.”

“Yes, that’s true. It’s my fault.”

Seeing Liam admit it so easily made me feel strange. I thought he’d make some excuse or something, but he just acknowledged it right away.

“But I’m better than that bright green youngster, aren’t I?”

I take it back. He had no intention of making excuses at all.

The thirty-year-old Liam was shamelessly bringing up the past even in this situation. Do we really need to talk about that here?

I had so much I wanted to say. So many questions I wanted to ask. What happened when I left at twenty-two? What became of Dylan Vermilton?

However, I decided to spare him since he had just opened his eyes. So I only asked this:

“Do you remember everything?”