Autopsy of a Mind

Chapter 80: Sign of Desensitization

"Don't think about it," Sebastian warned in a grim voice.

I turned to him in surprise and burst out into nervous laughter. "What?"

"I know what you just thought. Don't think about it. Isn't that why you are meeting Dr. Knight?" He raised his arm and placed his palm on my head. He brushed my hair gently as if patting Sheng Sheng. 

There he went, treating me like a pet again. 

"Is that supposed to comfort me?" I asked sarcastically. 

"I've heard it works, so I am trying it out on you." He paused. "Is it working?" he asked innocently. 

"Not really," I replied with a shrug. In all reality, just his presence and his understanding were comforting. Very few people actually understood or tried to understand what other people were going through. On that note, he had gone the extra length to try and comfort me in these moments of vulnerability. 

With that level of commitment despite his lack of social skills, it made you think about other people. Someone who was so intelligent that they couldn't understand others... theoretically. That was clearly not the case. 

Or was it me that he understood explicitly? Was it his need to understand and relate to me the reason why he could do so? Now, that was a rabbit hole I didn't want to dive into. 

"What's the next case?" I asked, snapping out of my thoughts. If he saw my mind turning, he would figure out exactly what I was thinking.

"In the next case, we will be seeing the mind of a stalker." He pulled another file out from beside him. "Enjoy." I quickly went through it and sighed.

"Okay. Why did I get to see the file earlier this time?" I asked. 

"The privilege of doing well in the last session." He told her with a proud glance. "You're learning really quickly."

"I'm far behind your students," I grumbled. I was actually pissed off about that. I spent all night reading books so that I could catch up with his master's students. Which was close to impossible. 

"They don't really match up to you. You have an inherent capacity when it comes to criminal cases. Moreover, I'm teaching you things that those students won't know until they get on the field. Theoretical knowledge can be acquired from books, but these things that you know and are learning, in those, you are far ahead of them," he assured. 

I nodded but didn't believe him.

"Let's start the video, shall we? It's getting late." I glanced at the clock. 

"Sure," Sebastian replied cheerfully and I gave him a weird look, confused why he was so happy all of a sudden.

"To understand the mind of a stalker, you must first understand the influence of fantasy on the judgment of an individual. Fantasy takes us far beyond the familiar realm of belief and allows us to enter a new world that breaks away from the confinements of realism. When it stems from a positive state of mind, it can become a part of a creative process and tool in cognitive development, encouraging people to imagine themselves in different scenarios and pursuing alternate paths without exposing themselves to actual risks. By living vicariously through fantasy, they can expand their capacity for analytical thinking. However, when it stems from a sense of dejection like loneliness and despair, the immense escape it gives can become extremely addictive. The simulated fulfillment from the fantasy world can replace the emotional needs one would otherwise pursue from reality. It provides immediate access to reward."

As usual, I quickly wrote down what he had said.

"This produces a short-term rush similar to that of an addictive substance. Like other tendencies, the user builds up a tolerance, leading to it becoming the signs of the behavior of a stalker. When forensic health professionals evaluate stalking, four essential items are taken into consideration: the nature of the relationships between the stalker and the victim, the stalker's motivations, the psychological and pathological realities of the stalker, the same vulnerabilities of the victim." 

I nodded and added in my input. "A key factor, in this case, was the internet search history of the suspect, 24-year-old criminal law student, William Martin. Unlike before, technology has given the police the tools to find out the motivation of the suspect with the click of a button." I paused and scrunched my brow. 

"Actually, I'm a bit surprised that someone studying law would do this. Didn't they catch themselves when they spiraled?" I frowned. 

Sebastian shook his head. "Just because you are studying something or work in a certain sphere doesn't disclude you from committing a crime. Psychology and the human condition run deep through us and make us prone to crime despite our ideology." He sighed. "Also, lawyers are not just studying to gain justice, they also try to twist the law to help their clients."

"That is true." Sometimes I sounded so prejudiced, I wanted to bang my head against the wall.

"Okay, back to the case." Sebastian clapped his hand. "Search histories and browser activity reveal a lot about the person and their thoughts that generally remain unknown by people around them or even by forensic psychologists. It is an easy tool that cuts down on investigation time and points towards the right direction. On the contrary, search history can also be misleading and should not be seen as the primary reference point to paint the character of a person."

I started to chuckle. "Imagine going through the search history of a writer and suspecting them of murder." Sebastian nodded. 

"Exactly! But, the search history of William Martin spoke volumes. It primarily featured pornographic content with the theme of violence and torture. Furthermore, he conducted back to back searches on how to commit sexual assault and not get caught." 

Unfortunately, there are enough websites and people on the internet ready to deliver that information.

"Several variations of the same theme were typed out. To forensics, this is a sign of desensitization to sexual activity. Excessive exposure to taboo content can lead to a lack of stimulus for the person watching and lead to wanting more of the initial thrill they felt from watching this content. By planning and replicating what he saw on the screen, William Martin was trying to get that rush that he craved to feel."

I nodded, thinking back to the famous serial killers who had succumbed to the same cycle of fantasizing.