Autopsy of a Mind

Chapter 5: Freedom

I became obsessed with being free, making my way without the interference of others. I left my aunt's home shortly after I recovered and spent a huge chunk of my father's savings and insurance money on renting an apartment and preparing to attend college. I build my body strength, learned to fight, rock climb, and skateboard. I wanted to run as fast as the wind, nothing stopping me.

Exploring desolate places with local groups and urban runners became a favorite pastime. I enjoyed how anxious it made me feelthe daughter of a detective breaking laws and trespassing and disregarding traffic. The more I made these trips without getting caught, the more invincible I felt. Nothing could stop me ever again; I had all the power to control my life.

The conference had gone without a hitch. At the end of the trip, Professor Singh had a high opinion of me and assured me that if any of his colleagues needed help with translations in languages I knew, he could direct them to me. It was not an idea that I wanted to entertain.

Yet, the conference and constant need to be present around Professor Singh and listen to him speak about criminal psychology had left me drained. I needed some fresh air and what better way to be thrilled than to tag along with a group of fame-seeking urban explorers trespassing abandoned shopping malls late at night?

The leader of the group was Lucas, a Youtuber known for his overnight videos and overall scary content, while the others were friends he had made while exploring or people he knew. I had met him and his group while I was being touristy a year or so ago, and asked if I could tag along. After producing my ID and ensuring them that I would not be holding them back, they let me join. Though they were a rowdy bunch that got spooked easily, they didn't mind me silently exploring and sometimes going out of the planned path to explore further. Usually, I would turn Lucas down if he invited me over on a weekday, but I figured that after getting a couple of hours of sleep in the flight, I needed to cleanse my fatigue and tumulus thoughts by putting my body through strenuous tasks.

"Evie, could you help out the new girl cross the fence?" One of the older members came up to me and asked. The new girl was a scared little bird who jumped every time someone looked in our general direction, thinking that we would get caught by the local authorities. It had never happened to me before, and not because these people were discreet or anything.

"Don't worry. I'll see that she doesn't fall behind." The girl was passive aggressive, to say the least, but it was obvious that Lucas wanted to engage in a sexual relationship with her. It also seemed that she wanted to look tough so that she could impress him. It wasn't amusing as I could see how tiresome the night would be if the girl was useless at physical activities.

Usually, abandoned buildings were blocked off so that homeless people can't enter, but people always found a way in, and these routes were usually pretty difficult to find and enter through if you weren't experienced.

"Suzy, right?" I asked politely, hoping she would accept my helping hand. It would be difficult though.

"Yes. You?" Yup. This girl will not listen to a word I say. Her tone was acidic and I wondered exactly who she thought I was.

"Evie Lewis, student. You are a vlogger, I hear. I'm not keen on Youtube, so I will ask for your forgiveness for my ignorance."

'Appease the beast. Appease the beast.'

"Let me begin by saying that I don't need your help-"

'There we go.'

"-and don't hold me back or slow me down. I like to set my own pace and I don't want you hovering."

"I'll keep my distance. Call me over if you need anything," I told her with a polite expression. If she had problems jumping over a wall, I would make sure to push her by the ass and scrape her knees and elbows against the wall.

God, how is she even wearing those tattered jeans and sleeveless top in this cold weather? Is she fearless or simply stupid?

As expected, she squealed and groaned as the others encouraged her to climb metal ladders or crouch and run across a rooftop. This abandoned shopping mall seemed to have only one entrance at the moment, the rooftop parking lot that led into the building.

The door was wrenched open, a huge dent on the metal frame. It looked as if something huge had smashed into it. As the others fidgeted and exclaimed about what could have made such an impact, I found myself growing disinterested in the female vlogger who was lagging behind everyone.

Her lost bravery had suddenly returned when we slipped into the building. She was a little slow and had brought a small backpack with snacks and a water bottle. She was also stupid enough to think that her phone's flashlight would suffice. She clutched onto her bag as she moved forward and gulped at the echoes of our footsteps.

"Suzy, will you be okay if I let you go for a bit?" I inquired out of pure regard to my fellow team members. "Just ask Lucas or Justine to be near you, for now, I'll break away and check out the lowest levels."

At that point, the groups had only managed to reach the second floor and were busy thinking that someone was following them. They were continuously flashing their flashlights towards distant dark corners and gasping about how they saw someone move. I, on the other hand, was pretty sure that there was nobody there. I often wondered if it was their eyes playing tricks or their need to spice up their videos or just to infuse panic in the group. Fear was addictive, of course; without that, none of these people would come back on the next exploration.

I padded down the unmoving escalator silently, so as to not spook the others. This time they had even brought a knife for their protection, so I was hoping they would not think I was a dangerous stranger in the dark and stab me.

As I flashed the light around, I saw the glass windows and doors leading into stores that had once probably flourishedunder beautiful lighting and expensive merchandise and delicately dressed employees, smiling and ready to help you at any cost.

I was cautious and made sure to check all corners before proceeding in any direction. Though I thought the group stupid for believing in the shadow they seemed to see, I was not foolish enough to believe that no one came in here to keep warm from the freezing weather outside. Some of them would probably attack if they felt threatened or try to mug me if they thought me an easy target. It hadn't happened to me yet, but the probability of finding someone in these places was very high.

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